Best in Sex: 2017 AVN Awards Page #3

an Asian girl come?

Sometimes she sounds like

a f***ing baby baboon, like,

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh."

She's not Asian?

She's Chinese?

- Indian?

- Latina.

I don't give a sh*t

about you, shut up.

You know what I'm talking about?

I'm kidding. What is she?

What are you, beautiful?

I'm Latina!

You're Latina?

Oh, you, oh!

You got that hair from your

p*ssy to your belly button?

You know what I'm talking about?

Hola, Papi. Hola, Papi.

I had my first threesome with

a Hispanic girl, I really did.

I did.

It was kind of like a threesome.

Her little kid was in the room.

But listen...

F*** you, AVN.

I just started. F*** you.

We're having fun tonight.

You're beautiful, by the way.

You're absolutely beautiful.

I wish you the best.

- Thank you.

- Seriously, I wish you the best.

I'm sexy.

Thank you so much, beautiful.

I appreciate it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you so much.

I gotta say this right here, and

then I'm gonna get things going.

I gotta say this.

You guys, you get a lot of sh*t

sometimes for what you do.

And I gotta say this, honestly,

you guys do exactly

what you wanna do

with your life,

and that's f***ing respect,

and I wanna say that

before I get it going.

100%.

And I mean that. You really do.

So I wanna get things going.

You guys ready for the best

awards yet, or what?

I want some more energy.

Are you guys ready

for the best awards?

Come on!

That's what I'm talking about.

We got a great night tonight.

We really do, so let's

get this started.

Behind every great man,

they say there's a great woman,

but tonight we got two

f***ing amazing women behind me.

Put your hands together,

everybody, and please welcome

Riley Reid and Aspen Rae.

Come on, let them hear it!

Let them hear it!

- Hello, beautiful people.

- Hey, everyone.

It truly is an honor to be

cohosting this year's awards.

We're happy to say that

for the fourth year in a row,

our aerial coverage

is being provided

by the Fleshlight blimp cam.

Wave, everybody!

Hi!

So when I was asked to be

a part of this year's show,

- I had one big condition.

- Ooh, can I guess it?

- Sure.

- All right, mm,

- a huge bubble bath?

- No.

Let's see,

a fivehour massage?

- No.

- Fine, getting DP'd

by midgets

while watching cartoons

and eating out of

a chocolate fountain.

- You know me so well.

- Yeah, I follow your Twitter.

Oh, sweet.

Now here's two people

definitely worth following.

Presenting Best Actor,

please give a loud round

of applause for...

Kat Dior and Ariana Marie.

When writing the recipe

for how you make a Best Actor,

you need the following.

Start with a great cock.

Then sprinkle in some charisma.

Drop in a big helping

of talent,

and whisk in some passion.

Lastly, add a ton of patience

to put up with

all of us crazy actresses.

Then put him on the screen,

and serve him up.

Here are the nominees

for Best Actor.

Can you play with these

nipples a little bit?

But it's much, much bigger

than yours.

Miss Hudson, right?

What amazing little bangers.

Mama!

Preacher's pretty

pissed off, huh?

What do you think about that?

I'm the one doing

the motherfucking talking here,

you see?

You hear me?

There we go.

It's not other women, baby.

Another woman with us.

Let's do it.

Let's get away for the weekend

and focus on us.

Will you go?

Oh, hello, room service.

Please send up a gallon

of your best poison lipstick.

Shiny and pristine,

until you make that first stab.

Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab!

Woke up at 5:
00 in the morning.

From 5:
00 to 9:00,

I read the Constitution

of the United States of America.

I didn't want to say

what she said,

but what she said was,

"Senator, you're a p*ssy."

And the winner

for Best Actor is...

Xander Corvus!

"The Preacher's Daughter,"

Wicked Pictures.

Whoo!

Congratulations.

Oh, wow. Thanks.

Thank you. Oh, wow.

Wow, all right.

Thank you, everybody.

Uh, wow.

Once again, um, I wanna thank

everybody from Wicked

that put this movie together.

Brad, thanks

for casting me, man.

Thanks for writing

an amazing movie as well.

Yeah!

All my friends who support me

and everything.

Thank you, guys.

OC Modeling, hell yeah.

My beautiful girlfriend,

Lily Lane.

Thank you guys so much.

Thank you, AVN!

All right, guys.

Thank you so much.

Y'all are so awesome.

I'll see you next time.

Bye.

And cut.

That was perfect, Bailey.

- It was super authentic.

- Carrots?

Get the f*** out of here

with the f***ing carrots.

Let's start from the top.

My name is Linda Wilson.

I'm a cam show director.

I've been in the industry

about 17 months strong now.

I'm what they call a veteran.

If you want something done

right, go to Linda Wilson.

I'm ready.

Let's roll.

- Cookies?

- Patrick!

A lot of people say,

"How is this a thing?"

Or, "Cam shows

don't need directors,"

or "Linda, pay me back

the money you owe me."

You go ahead and you ask Bailey.

She'll tell you.

I mean, you could take

the lampshade off.

You get better punctuation

with the light.

You need good light penetration,

you know what I mean?

I mean, you can get one girl

that she's got maybe one,

maybe two lamps.

That looks really good.

Lighting, it's all about

the lighting.

Oh, that's it, yeah.

I see some of these shows,

and I'm like, "Hey,

the only thing getting

blown out is your face."

'Cause the lighting's so bad.

That's it.

I don't know much

about lighting, but I know

I made 10,000 bucks last week

showing my tits.

Food is the most important

thing you can have on set.

And despite what my...

b*tch of a sister Linda thinks,

people like having food on set.

Patrick, shut the f*** up!

Yeah, sometimes

I get yelled at,

but I wanna make sure

the hummus and the veggies

are ready to be eaten.

Veggie medley?

Nice tits.

I don't know what any of these

people are doing in my bedroom.

Patrick, are you

still f***ing here?

I am crucial

to this production!

AVN salutes the heroes

of the adult film world.

Girls, it's been great

working with you both,

but I have a few questions.

Okay, what's up?

Do we really get paid

in AVN gift cards?

Wait, we're getting paid?

Yeah, I thought this was

community service.

Okay, I guess

my other question is,

are we really sharing

a room tonight?

- Wait, what?

- Yes, that's true.

Uh, and I call the middle!

Great, I'll bring

my gift cards.

Perfect.

For the category

of Best Supporting Actress

and Best Oral Sex Scene,

the presenters are...

2016 Penthouse

Pet of the Year, Kenna James,

along with Gia Paige

and comedian Doug Benson!

Love you, Doug!

Hey, everybody.

As everyone knows,

I'm a huge fan of movies.

It's great to have you here.

I didn't know you loved

our movies too.

Well, with your movies,

a few minutes here,

a few minutes there,

and I'm good.

- That's all I need.

- Just like our

supporting actresses, they may

not be in the whole movie,

but they'll definitely

give you the few minutes

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