Best in Show Page #9

too.

The Terrier group now.

This is the Norwich Terrier.

With....

-Seems to have a different handler.

-It's not Cookie Fleck.

We're getting word that

the dog is being handled by...

...Cookie's husband, Gerry Fleck.

-Very unusual.

-Boy, this is thrilling.

The bottom of the ninth,

a pinch hitter comes in.

Am I nuts or--?

Something's wrong with his feet.

I don't think I ever find myself

saying this, but I think...

-...you're right.

-He's got two left feet.

That is certainly a first.

Go get 'em, pal! Man!

And the Toy Group, the Shih Tzu

is here with Scott Donlan...

-...in a splendid outfit.

-Scott is prancing along...

...with the dog.

And look at his outfit.

In my neighborhood,

you wear an outfit like that...

...you better be a hotel doorman.

-He is having fun with his dog.

-Here's Rhapsody...

-That's your favorite.

-...with Christy.

And the crowd's reacting too.

This dog is as close to perfect as I

think you'll see. And she knows it.

-She knows this.

-She has a winner's attitude.

And last, lastly we have the...

...the Shetland Sheepdog.

The dog I have.

The Sheltie.

Let me ask you.

This may be a little bit off the path.

How much weight do you think

I could bench press?

Just make a guess.

A ballpark figure.

31 5 pounds.

I was in top shape.

I don't know if I could make it

back and forth here.

-Quite impressive.

-Dead-lifted over 500.

-I think we're all set to go here.

-Oh, boy. Oh, boy!

Bring out the Pointer, please.

And the judge is Everett Bainbridge,

if I'm not wrong.

Yes, Everett is a very

experienced judge.

-I would hope so.

-We're in very good hands.

This is like the World Series.

You get the best umpires.

Once around, please.

Bring out the Bloodhound.

Once around, please.

Can a dog win it or lose it

in this last round...

...or has the judge made up his mind?

Oh, good heavens, no. This is...

...still open at this point.

It's apples and oranges,

different breeds.

Are they looking for

something particular?

It's a gut reaction on some level.

These are all...

-...superb animals.

-Very subjective, then.

Very difficult task to pick.

Let me ask you, does money ever

exchange hands under the table?

-Good Lord, no.

-Don't stick your neck out.

I'd be tempted to lay a few dollars.

Once around, please.

They're just one cuter than the other.

And I think everybody

responds to that.

Bring out the Shih Tzu, please.

I couldn't get used

to being probed and prodded.

I told my proctologist once:

"Why don't you take me out

to dinner and a movie sometime?"

Yes. I remember you said that

last year.

Once around, please.

Bring out the standard Poodle, please!

This may seem like a silly question.

If you get a French dog,

a Chinese dog, a German dog...

...do they all bark the same?

They all sound the same....

Or is it a different language?

Different dogs have different

intonations and tones.

The country, the boundaries,

doesn't make any difference?

Bring out the Shetland Sheepdog,

please.

I notice in these competitions

they don't do the basic...

..."sit up," "roll over,"

"fetch," "heel."

They start at a higher level than that,

don't they?

Those are the basic commands--

And is that taken into consideration

at the start, or, I mean...

...are you just judging by how well

a dog is groomed?

Once around.

These dogs are pampered and petted...

...and all in top physical condition.

No question. This is the prime.

You won't see finer specimens

than these seven dogs.

It's a shame, really,

that there has to be one picked.

Because as we've said

time and time again...

...these aren't just winners.

These are winners within winners.

And Mr. Bainbridge is taking a very,

very close look at these dogs.

I don't envy him this task.

He's a master of...

...1 50 breeds.

And this well-informed judge....

This is a terribly difficult task.

Like the umpire calling a close play

at home plate in the bottom of the 9th.

I wouldn't want to be in his shoes.

The judge is going over to the judges'

table to sign the book.

-So he's made his decision.

-We have a winner.

Lot of hearts in dogs' throats.

Do dogs react to this?

They sense the tension. They have to.

They can't not.

And here comes the cup, with Doctor

Millbank and Graham Chissolm.

Look at the size of that. I've taken

sponge baths in smaller bowls.

This really is the defining moment

of this competition.

The Norwich Terrier!

Congratulations, you did a great job.

Thank you. Thanks.

Cookie! We did it!

-We took the Mayflower!

-You're so beautiful!

Oh, my God! Oh, thank you!

After the Mayflower,

we came back to Fern City...

...and we were celebrities.

We were big.

We were big. Everything just broke

loose like a cannon.

We were given the key to the city

from the mayor.

-With a picture in the newspaper.

-Picture in the newspaper.

We, we, we had....

-Radio interviews.

-Radio interviews.

-Three.

-Three radio interviews.

And you know, at some point,

a good friend of ours said:

"You know, you've got

all these great songs...

...that you do about your Terriers,

and you're....

Do something with them...

...because you're celebrities now."

We never thought of it.

We were just doing it for fun.

Just for the love of Terriers.

But, thinking, "Yeah. Why not?"

There's something to be said for that.

Back yard, front yard, or the park

Play with it till it gets dark

Take it home after a while.

Then chew it up

Terrier style

Bow-wow

Delish

Some dish

-Cookie?

-Yeah?

Cookie Googleman?

Does this ring a bell?

I'm not wearing underwear

-Bulge?

-Yeah, that's me!

Bulge?

-Get out of town!

-It's me!

You look fantastic.

You too. You've grown.

I'm growing right now, girl,

just looking at you.

That is the one and only time

I've ever done it on a roller coaster.

I like both of them.

And we could fiind something there.

But what I like about these,

and Sherri Ann would agree....

Honey?

If we could get this picture

of the dog...

...and maybe one of these....

Gosh, it's been a year.

So much has happened. Oh, my gosh.

Well...

...we didn't win at Mayflower.

Which is surreal and was

extremely disturbing.

-It was so not right.

-It was devastating.

But the silver lining of this cloud,

of course, is that...

...you know, it brought us

to a new level in our relationship.

And now we got to open up

these offices...

...and publish this magazine here.

American B*tch. The dog magazine

for women and their dogs.

It's a focus on the issues of

the lesbian purebred dog owner.

We're on our third issue.

These are our first two issues here.

And it's fantastic, you know?

Sherri Ann is definitely

the inspiration and, you know...

...and I do the grunt work,

the details.

She has a very big heart.

She's generous. She's kind.

-She's sweet.

-Well, vice versa.

Yeah. She's changed my life.

And, and as it turns out, she's...

...dynamite in the sack.

Likewise, I'm sure.

After the dog show...

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