Best Man Down Page #2

What friend?

Hey! Aren't you gonna

eat something?

I'm not hungry.

[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]

That's it?

Sorry. I have to

get my day started.

Yeah, me too.

What?

I drove all the way up here

to see you.

Couldn't we at least

have breakfast?

Hang out a little?

It's a small town.

Hey.

Maybe I can arrange

a day off next week.

You know what?

Forget it.

[ DOOR OPENS,

CLOSES ]

Jesus!

Hot date?

What are you doing here?

You know I like to watch.

I hate it when you pull the blinds, Dad.

[ SIGHS ]

I'm not your dad.

Dad, father, father, dad...

Whatever.

I need 50 bucks.

I don't have 50 bucks.

This is really your best option?

Blackmailing a priest?

Think of it

as community welfare.

Isn't there a doctor or a lawyer

you can hustle?

If you want me to go back to taking

it out of the offering tray,

I will.

[ SIGHS ]

[ KRISTIN ]

They just found him lying there?

Yeah. I don't know

what he was doing.

How...

I don't know.

A security camera caught him going

out the back door at, like, 1:30.

There's blood

all over his room.

I- I don't know.

Hi, honey.

Everyone is just devastated.

Is there anything that Roger

and I could do for you?

No, I don't think so, Gail.

Thanks though.

Well, I don't mean

to upset you,

but this might be...

a liability here.

Mom, I don't think

that this is a good time.

You know, sweetheart,

you cannot be too careful.

The hotel

should take responsibility.

We could blame the bartenders.

Have you two

eaten anything yet?

Uh, thank you, Dad.

We're not hungry.

The resort has a complimentary

continental breakfast.

[ SIGHS ]

Could you guys go say good-bye

to some of the guests?

Yes, we could, honey.

I think that would be really helpful.

All right.

Yeah.

[ CHATTERING,

INDISTINCT ]

I'm sorry.

Wow.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I don't have a

referral to another provider.

So there's only one company

that can ship a body?

You could keep the deceased in Arizona,

have the services here.

No, no, no. The funeral and the

burial have to be in Minnesota.

Um...

Then I guess you're out of options.

Really, Mr. Huxley?

There's nothing else?

'Cause I'm in

a tight spot here.

[ EXHALES ]

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, God! What the hell

are you doing?

Oh. Oh, uh...

He, um...

[ STAMMERS ]

Jesus Christ.

Can we go, please?

Oh, my God.

There are so many questions

I have for you.

There are so many things

I'm curious about.

But you know what?

I think it would be best...

if we just never talked

about that again.

Okay? Ever.

I think that's fine.

Great.

Great.

So let's go back to the hotel. We'll

pack our stuff up and call the airline.

See if they can get us on a

redeye back to Minneapolis.

What... [ STAMMERS ] Minneapolis?

No.

Uh, we're going home now?

Yeah.

Why?

I assumed that the funeral

would be after the honeymoon.

You-You wanna

postpone the funeral?

Who postpones a funeral?

This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

I mean, our honeymoon...

I've been dreaming about it

since I was a little girl.

I'm supposed to be in a

caftan under a palm tree.

What's a caftan?

You don't know

what a caftan is?

I know you never got Lumpy.

Okay? Let's just be honest.

You didn't want him to be my best man.

I didn't say that.

What I said was, you two didn't

spend much time together anymore.

What does that mean?

We're men.

Men don't spend

a lot of time together.

We have to go home

because I have to...

take care of my friend's

funeral arrangement, okay?

I can't believe this happened

on our wedding night.

Hey, will you hold this?

It's Lumpy's.

Then we can make some calls,

just let people know what happened.

There are only

six numbers stored.

Two of them

are for pizza delivery.

It's not a joke.

It's true.

- Who's Ramsey Anderson?

- No idea.

Probably a friend

from law school.

Or a restaurant maybe.

[ SIGHS ]

So, after the autopsy...

they're gonna ship the body back

to Minnesota by budget courier.

Budget courier?

Is that a normal thing? I don't know.

I've, weirdly, never had to ship

a friend's body anywhere before.

It's still gonna be $2,000.

We don't have it.

Not after the open bar and the

welcome baskets for the guests.

And a $2,000 dress.

So it wasn't worth it?

Come on. I didn't say that.

We're gonna have to use

the honeymoon money...

for the funeral though.

What choice do I have?

Kristin, he was my best man.

[ ENGINE STARTS ]

[ ALARM CHIMING ]

Hi.

Aren't you supposed

to be in school?

Someone's gotta shop for food.

Yeah. Well, you don't

have a job.

Neither do you.

Why you gotta be like that?

I'm trying to make things work,

you know?

I thought we had a deal here.

I don't like that deal.

I didn't ask if you liked it.

Hey.

I'm not finished.

I'm not finished.

[ DOOR SHUTS ]

This is your family, Ramsey.

Whether you like it or not,

we're family.

[ DOG BARKING ] #

[UP-TEMPO GUITAR STRUMMING ]

# [ MAN VOCALIZING ]

# Under the covers

# A man can tell

# It's my world

# That I'm in

# Without you near me

# You know I need ya

# I want you to be

# Oh

# [ VOCALIZING ]

# Under the table

# Nobody there

# Under the ceiling,

under the stairs #

# A funny feeling

# My head is sleeping

# I want you to be

# Oh

# [ VOCALIZING ]

[ ALARM BLARING ]

[ NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE ]

# In the morning

# I'm waiting for you

# To come back home

You're welcome?

# [ VOCALIZES ]

# [ ENDS ] Can we just go?

I have to tell your mother.

No!

I know what I promised,

but I could get in serious trouble here.

[ GROANS ]

It was just cold medicine.

You don't look

like you have a cold.

[ COUGHS ]

You're lucky I was able to talk the sheriff

into releasing you into my custody.

Yeah, really lucky.

Ramsey.

Ramsey, wait.

Ramsey.

Look, it's seriously decent of you

to spring me from my incarceration.

But I'm fine, okay?

I know why people buy cold medicine.

It's to make crystal meth.

Why'd you steal it anyway?

I just gave you money.

I spent it.

On drugs?

Don't you have

candles to light,

or, like,

wine and crackers to hand out?

That's what you think I do?

Mood lighting and catering?

I don't do drugs, okay?

You only have a couple of more

months of this. Don't blow it!

[ JET ENGINE WHINING ]

[ MAN ON P.A. ] Welcome

aboard Valdez flight 896,

redeye to Minneapolis,

Minnesota.

It's gonna be

a full flight tonight, folks,

so we ask you to find your seat and stow

your luggage as quickly as possible...

for an on-time departure.

[ SIGHS ]

Oh, my God.

What? What's wrong?

I think I packed the Ambien

in my suitcase.

Okay, are...

I can't believe this.

Are you sure?

Oh, my God.

Well, look...

Look in that guy.

Jesus.

Kris, it's only

a four-hour flight.

But I need to sleep.

[ GROANS ]

[ SIGHS ] I need a Xanax.

Jesus. How many pills

are you taking?

My God.

You're like a pharmacy in there.

These ones are the white ones,

not the orange ones.

They're like half as strong.

And the blue ones,

those are the ones that are for crazies.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes