Best Man Down Page #3

Okay, Elvis, when did chronic

anxiety take over your life?

Am I missing something?

Why are...

You're like announcing this to

the entire plane. Oh, relax.

He's the one guy that's eavesdropping.

We don't even know him.

Who cares?

Hi.

I'm Neil.

Your mom's cousin's son?

We met at the reception.

Right.

Hi, Neil.

I'm really sorry about your friend.

Thank you, Neil.

I don't have anxiety issues.

Oh, I wasn't even paying attention.

He wasn't listening.

I have a slight fear of flying.

Xanax helps take the

edge off during takeoff.

But... don't need 'em.

Not like I'm addicted.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ WHISPERS ]

Kris, he doesn't care.

How are you at flying?

Do you want one?

They're the white ones.

They're not the orange ones.

No. Thank you though.

I appreciate that.

Um, gosh, you know,

that is a "D" on my ticket,

which means

I have the wrong seat.

So I'm gonna scooch on over.

Rick going to be

at the funeral?

Oh, well, yeah, probably.

We've both known Lumpy since junior high,

so guessing.

Such a real estate crook.

Yeah, and his dad's my boss,

so please remember that, Kris.

I thought you didn't have to pay a

referral fee if it was within the office.

You do sometimes.

It depends.

[ WOMAN ] He fails.

Ethan risks everything to be

with the woman that he loves,

but he fails.

Why?

Why would Wharton

have Ethan and Mattie fail?

Anna? What do you think?

I didn't read it.

Did anybody read it?

No. See, that's the thing

about literature...

You have to read it.

Okay. For tomorrow...

[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]

I want everyone

to finish Ethan Frome.

Lunch?

Sure.

I was talking to her.

[ KRISTIN ] All I'm saying is

that I can't think of a time...

when Lumpy wasn't either drunk

or naked or both.

Yeah, everyone lets loose

on vacation.

Clearly you've forgotten about the

hairy bead rack incident on Bourbon St.

[ CHUCKLING ] Oh, yeah.

I mean, New Orleans was struggling

through a post-Katrina holocaust,

and Lumpy thinks he can brighten

everyone's day by hanging beads from...

What did he call it?

His hairy button.

Hairy button.

That was hilarious.

Oh, Scott. Okay, listen.

You know what?

I agree with you. In the last year the

drinking got a little out of control.

But I don't know

what you want me to say, Kris.

I mean, he was my best friend.

But... he wasn't

your best friend.

He was your oldest friend.

There's a difference.

I don't care what you call him.

I knew Lumpy

better than anyone.

I'm very sorry for your loss,

but Lawrence is no longer

a law student here.

What? N-No.

That must be a mistake.

Well,

he hasn't been enrolled for almost a year.

A year?

Did he transfer

to another school?

I don't have any record

of a transcript request.

He flunked out of law school?

Actually, his grades

were quite strong.

He left for personal reasons.

What does that mean?

I-I'm sorry.

I don't have any further information.

But I'd be happy to put his funeral

announcement on our Web site.

Uh, thank you... Actually, could you

search for one more student for us?

It's a friend of Lumpy's.

Lumpy?

Lawrence. Sorry.

Of course.

Uh, what's the name?

Uh, Ra...

Ramsey Anderson.

[ TYPING ] I'll check.

Sorry. Lots of Andersons.

No Ramsey.

# You are my lover

and I do like you #

Yeah. This is it.

# What's the matter?

Tell me what to do # [ BELL JINGLES ]

# [ CONTINUES ]

- Hi.

- Hi.

Two?

No, we're actually not here to eat.

Um, we're friends of Lumpy's.

[ LAUGHS ]

Last time I saw Lumps

we were totally wasted,

and we ended up...

N-Never mind.

How old are you?

[ STAMMERS ]

I'm afraid we have

some really bad news.

Uh, L-Lumpy passed away...

over the weekend.

What?

It was an accident.

It was a very unfortunate accident.

We just wanted

to tell his manager...

and let everyone know

about the funeral.

Oh, my God. He O.D.'d.

No. No, no, no.

Why would you think he O.D.'d?

He died on a cactus.

Can you tell your manager...

that we're here

to talk to him or her?

Uh, sure. Lumpy hasn't worked here

in a couple of months though.

He hasn't?

No, he was...

he was fired.

What?

How could he fire Lumpy?

Is he in there? You can't go in there!

Scott, don't do that.

I swear to God.

Bruce doesn't like

to be interrupted.

# [ ROCK ] Oh, eureka.

What? Oh.

God. Sorry.

- Um...

- You can't just barge in here.

I just wanted to talk to you,

but I-I'll wait outside.

I think he needs a minute.

He...

He was stealing?

Uh, we caught him on camera.

No. There's no way.

Not Lumpy.

Look, bartending

is a cash business.

It happens, you know.

Sooner or later, temptation wins out.

Well, did you call the police?

Is there a report that

was filed or something?

The owners wanted to, but I never did.

Why?

I think he was in a bad place.

What do you mean?

There was a lot of booze

and, uh,

some girl up north

in, uh, Lutsen.

Do you remember her name,

by any chance?

Oh, man. Uh...

Was it Ramsey?

It... Maybe. Yeah.

That sounds right.

Okay. Thank you

for your time.

And sorry about

barging in again.

I'm real sorry

about your friend.

Everyone liked Lumpy.

Yeah.

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

Don't touch it!

[ COUGHS ]

Thank you.

[ BIRDS TWITTERING ]

Hey.

Aren't you going to work?

I called Dan.

I told him I wasn't feeling well.

Is he okay?

Hmm?

Wasn't he in danger?

You don't believe

in Ms. Shirley, do you?

She's from

Thief River Falls, Mom.

It is a gift.

She has a real gift.

Yeah.

For taking your money.

The first time I talked to her,

she knew everything about me.

Names.

She knew names.

[ DOOR OPENS ]

Have you ever heard of caller

I.D. and Google? [ DOOR CLOSES ]

Hi, baby.

Hey.

Can I talk to you?

[ CHUCKLES ] Did you get it?

Tried.

What happened?

One of the security thingies went off

and I got busted for shoplifting.

But I told you to take

the security tags off.

I did.

Must have missed one.

It's okay. It's okay.

Did you,

uh... Did you say anything about me?

No.

You sure? You sure?

'Cause you can tell me.

Just tell me. I didn't.

Ramsey, we need this money.

Your mom won't ask, but we need it.

How bad does she need it?

I told you it ain't for us.

Look at me.

I come back from two back-to-back

tours in Iraq last year,

and I got sh*t.

No job, no degree,

no money... nothin'.

All I have is respect,

and from you I'm gonna get respect.

- I asked you to do one thing, one stupid

little thing... - [ CELL PHONE BUZZES ]

[ BUZZING CONTINUES ]

and you messed it up.

Uh... What's this?

Where'd you get this?

A friend.

Nice friend?

Yeah.

I wonder what you have to do for a

friend to get a phone like this.

[ WHISPERING ]

Don't mess up again.

[ LINE RINGING ]

[ WOMAN'S VOICE ]

Your call has been forwarded...

to an automated

voice-messaging system.

3-3-2...

[ BEEP ]

Would anyone like

some more wine?

Yeah.

I would.

Your uncle and I

are very happy...

to have a belated Christmas

dinner with the newlyweds.

We're all glad you're here.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes