Best Man Down Page #4

Too bad your brother had to fly straight

back to Wilmington from Phoenix.

Helen, you should see

the house he bought.

Oh, John's work

is just going so well.

His company is exploiting Chinese

children into making automotive paint.

Here we go

with all the green talk again.

We are proud of you too,

being a teacher.

Why would... That's not what I'm...

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ STAMMERS ] Could somebody

please pass the Mrs. Dash?

She might be hiding

with Mr. Dash.

Oh, we don't know if there

is a Mr. Dash, Dad.

Maybe things didn't go well after

their wedding or something.

Well, maybe Mr. Dash

had some things on his mind,

and things he had

to take care of.

I just wonder if Mr. and Mrs.

Dash didn't go on a honeymoon...

and then after that

stop communicating.

Maybe Mrs. Dash should stop

feeling sorry for herself.

I think that Mrs. Dash is trying really

hard and maybe feels underappreciated.

Maybe Mrs. Dash should remember she's

not the only spice in the spice rack.

I'm not saying that Mrs.

Dash is the only spice.

Mrs. Dash has gotten very arrogant lately.

Little one-sided.

Arrogant?

Mm-hmm.

There's paprika, there's thyme,

there's rosem... a lot of other spices.

I think maybe it's time

to clear the table.

- I'll help you.

- No, no, Helen. Now, you sit.

I only get to wash the

Christmas dishes once a year.

Okay, this is it.

We couldn't believe all those

strange-looking plants in Phoenix.

What were they called again?

Cactus, Helen.

They were cactus.

They weren't cactus.

I know what cactus look like.

They're succulents.

Too bad about your...

your friend, Scott.

[ UNCLE ] Yeah. I'm sorry.

That's too bad.

It was an unfortunate lesson

for all of us.

[ ROGER ] Boy looked like

he was a lot of fun.

He was a lot of fun, Roger.

He wasn't a boy though.

He was a man.

Of course he was a man.

No, no, no.

He was a real man.

Just because he drank

a little too much...

and quit law school

and he got fired from his job,

it doesn't make him

less of a man.

'Cause he was a man, Kris.

Okay. We understand

and we know you're upset...

You asked me to pee

sitting down!

I thought it would be

a nice compromise.

You wanted me to carry a purse,

for Christ's sake.

- Why would he carry a purse?

- It was a man bag!

And I was only pointing out that

some men have found it efficient.

They are in Europe,

mostly... We don't live in Europe.

This is what I'm talking about.

Lumpy kept it real.

He was a man.

I'm going to help Mom

in the kitchen.

Good idea.

Come on, Terry. This isn't even

gonna get me through New Years.

Man, Terry! Hey.

[ GROANS ]

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

What?

Nothing.

[ C*CKS GUN ]

Your aunt

had to bring up Lumpy.

Mom, someone died.

People are gonna talk about it.

But that's all they talk about.

Oh, your best man got drunk

and died at the wedding.

Do you know that he hit

on your cousin Lindsay?

She's 14.

They were just dancing.

I think it's inappropriate.

I don't like it.

Well, don't tell me

that you don't wish...

that didn't happen

on your wedding night.

Actually,

I just wish

that it didn't happen.

Oh. Hey. I'm sorry.

You're not a smoker.

Should we leave tomorrow

morning after traffic?

Leave for where?

Lutsen.

What are you talking about?

Why would we drive to Lutsen?

'Cause we have to find Ramsey Anderson

and tell her that her boyfriend died.

Kris, that's like five hours away.

It's near Canada.

Why don't we just

call Ramsey Anderson?

I tried.

The phone's been disconnected or something.

I googled. I Facebooked. There's nothing.

What about a home number?

Do you know how many Andersons

there are in Northern Minnesota?

So we're gonna

drive to Lutsen...

and just ask around

for Ramsey Anderson?

Yeah.

Why would we do that?

Because Lumpy

was your best friend.

# [ POP INTRO ]

[ WOMAN ] # You are my

lover and I do like you #

# What's the matter?

Tell me what to do #

# [ CONTINUES ]

Kris, can you take

your legs down, please?

'Cause we get in an accident,

you're gonna get paralyzed.

But we've passed, like, two cars

in the last 20 minutes.

Can you just work

with me, please?

Come on.

We're newlyweds.

Thank you.

I need to pee again.

Really?

Yeah.

# [ SPEAKERS:
ROCK, FAINT ]

[ KNOCKING ]

# [ MAN SINGING ] Mom.

There's someone at the door.

[ KNOCKING CONTINUES ]

Mom!

Hey.

Hi.

Hi. Uh, I'm sorry

to bother you.

Are your parents at home?

Yeah.

Great.

Can I talk to them?

Why?

[ CHUCKLES ] Okay.

Uh, yeah, because I normally cut

through your neighbor's property...

to get down to the lake,

but they have it plowed so...

Yeah, I think they took their

Winnebago to Florida for the winter.

Do you think it would be okay if I just

cut through your property really quick?

Yeah. Sure.

Really?

Rock it out.

All right. Rock it out.

# [ CONTINUES ]

You like these guys, huh?

You know these guys?

Yeah, I do.

A lot of people do.

Not in this town.

Oh, no, maybe not.

Yeah. Probably right.

Okay, I'll get out of your hair.

Thank you.

Careful on the ice.

Global warming.

Thanks.

[ CHUCKLES ]

# [ VOLUME INCREASES ]

# [ MAN VOCALIZING ]

[ MOTHER ]

Who was that at the door?

Who was that?

Some guy.

What guy? I don't know.

He's gone.

[ SIGHS ]

Have you seen my cigarettes?

Finished the pack at school.

Don't be a smart-ass.

So, uh, how was school anyway?

I asked you a question.

# [ STOPS ] What are you doing?

- I asked you how school was.

- How do you think it was? It sucks.

Why?

Why do you think?

I don't know, Ramsey.

That's why I'm asking.

I hate it here.

You never gave it a chance.

No one makes new friends

in high school.

Oh, you're so smart though.

Yeah, and everyone's

just dying to be friends...

with that freak girl who does math

two years ahead of everybody else.

Well, if you try,

it'll get better.

You sure about that, Mom?

Is it gonna get better

like Milwaukee,

where I got beat up every week?

Or is it gonna get better like Rockford,

where you got beat up every week?

Stop it.

I did the best that I could.

Or is it like Brooklyn Park,

where I had to watch my dad O.D.

- Stop it!

- So tell me, Mom, when does it get better?

Because I wouldn't want

to miss it.

[ DOOR OPENS ]

Ramsey.

Where are you going?

Anywhere but here.

Hey.

Hey.

Sorry. I didn't mean

to scare you.

You didn't.

Good.

How's it going?

Good.

Just, uh, you know,

gettin' started.

I just wanted to make

sure you found it.

The lake?

Yeah.

Yeah. Found it.

Right there.

[ CHUCKLES ]

Cool.

See ya.

See ya.

Oh.

[ WATER SLOSHING ]

[ REEL WINDING ]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

Oh... Oh!

[ LAUGHS ]

Oh!

Oh, look at you!

Ohh! Oh!

[ LAUGHING ]

Oh.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.

[ COUGHING, SCREAMING ]

Oh, God!

[ GRUNTING ]

Help! Help!

[ GRUNTING CONTINUES ]

[ SCREAMING ]

[ LUMPY GROANS ]

[ NO NOISE ]

[ SCREAMING RESUMES ]

[ GASPING ]

Hold on!

[ GASPS ]

[ PANTING, SHIVERING ]

[ GRUNTING ]

Come on!

You're almost there!

[ GASPING, PANTING ]

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