Better Than Chocolate

"I would really...

love to see you naked, baby... "

"I would love to...

see you tremble with delight... "

"I would love to...

come inside your window, baby... "

"Come on, baby...

Oooh-ah, sexy. "

"I could take you

on a very sexy ride...

Sexy. "

"Girl, I want it, all day everyday

so you give me...

Your touch. "

"It's such a rush, boy,

when it comes to makin' love...

Sexy. "

"Well, girl, you know you're so sexy. "

Man, you still got

those f***in' allergies?

F*** you, man.

Look at the little baby angel dyke.

Goin' home early?

- What is that?

- I don't want any trouble.

- Could I have an answer, please?

- Excuse me.

"I could rub you...

underneath the covers, baby. "

"Ooh, I'd love to...

F*** this,

I'm outta here.

You okay?

Yeah...

yeah, I'm okay.

Okay...

"Oooh, all night,

all night. "

Oh, yummy, give it up for Maggie,

from 10 Percent Books.

Making her lip-synching debut

here tonight at The Cat's Ass.

And remember, girls,

she is s-s-single.

- Ten Percent Books.

- Honey...?

- Ten Percent...

- Margaret?

Mom?

You know,

I've just had this...

terrible letter

from the university.

It was addressed to you,

so I opened it...

and it's confirmation

of your withdrawal from school.

I mean...

I thought you wanted

to be a lawyer.

Mother:
Darling, I've been

trying to track you down for days.

So, what's up?

I decided it was time

I learned about... life...

from... life...

I've got a really

wonderful apartment...

in a really interesting

part of town.

It's big, and it's cheap...

An apartment? Really?

And it's big?

Because...

Oh, well, the reason

that I called is because...

Michael and I

are getting a divorce.

Finally? I mean...

are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm just, you know...

kind of at my rope's end about...

where we were gonna go, but...

I mean, if the apartment

is as big as you say, then...

Paul and I could come

and stay with you.

I know it's gonna be hard

'cause he's gonna have to transfer.

Paul:
Transfer?

What do you mean?

- Is there a high school near you?

- I don't know.

Anyway, I have to

go to the bank...

and I'm gonna put the...

furniture in storage.

and then we'll...

be there on Friday.

Okay? Thank you, Margaret.

Thank you, sweetheart.

- Mom...?

- We'll see you soon, okay? Bye-bye.

She's coming here.

To live with me.

No, no she isn't.

This is my book store...

where I let you sleep on the sofa

until you find a place...

which will be very soon, because

your mother's not coming here.

Try the sublets.

And tell you mother you're queer,

before somebody else does.

Four weeks only,

then I'm back.

I'm gonna leave all my stuff.

You got a problem with that?

I'm sleeping on the couch

where I work, and...

it's a long story.

I don't wanna come back

to any surprises.

- Where are you going?

- I'm off Thursday...

on the "Love That Latex"

Safe Sex Tour?

I'm giving safe sex demonstrations

from Tuktoyactuk to Yellow Knife.

So, you wanna take it?

You've saved my life.

Cool.

- What titles?

- I don't know.

They're holding my f***ing books

at the f***ing border again...

and they won't tell you

the f***ing titles?

These people don't f***,

that's the problem.

If any of those idiots

from Customs call...

I'll be on the phone

to the Civil Liberties Association.

This is going to ruin me.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

- Did you find a place?

- Yes.

- You did?

- Yes.

Good.

Customs held up another

order of books at the border.

They're claiming the books

are pornographic... hello?!

Which they aren't.

Well, maybe "Butches In Chains" is...

but so what?

You were great the other night

at the club.

Hey, Maggie, I didn't know

you were looking for a place to live.

You could stay with me.

I've got some new toys.

Five-speed vibrator, Magic Eggs...

Clit-titious Dancer...

No, but, thanks.

Ouch, it's the plight of the bisexual.

Gay girls won't play with you.

You're not bisexual, Carla,

you're onmi-sexual.

You're like that tornado

in the "Wizard of Oz"...

sweeping up

everything in your path.

- You need to let go more.

- Yep, that's me...

Letting it all hang in.

Oh, Carla...

my mother and brother

are coming to stay with me.

I don't want you

to frighten them, all right?

- Promise?

- Promise.

Hey, Maggie!

Hey, can you believe she's

never been in my coffee shop?

Tell her how great it is.

Come on, I just got here.

I haven't been anywhere.

Come on, tell her

how great it is... f***.

It's great... f***.

See?

Can I take a peek?

No, no. Know what? Can you maybe

just add a bit more hair up top?

I mean, what is art

all about, right?

lllusion.

To quote Whistler, a successful picture

is the thrust, movement...

counter-movement, and final equilibrium

of forms and colors in pictorial space.

Which means...

more hair.

Yeah, just a little bit.

- There.

- Finished?

Done.

Minchia, Maggie...

is that a good-lookin' guy or what?

Know what

I'm gonna do with this?

I'm gonna hang it up

in my cafe.

I don't know, I'm thinkin',

maybe you come in...

I give you free cappuccinos...?

Yeah, sounds great.

It's still $20

for the picture, though.

Okay, free coffee

for a month.

Do I look like

I'm anywhere for a month?

With the coffee, my home-made grappa.

Real kick, hundred percent.

Hundred percent what?

Hundred percent kick.

Trust me.

See, ya, Maggie.

Bye, Tony.

Sit down.

I don't have 20 bucks.

Who does?

Sit.

I'm Kim.

Maggie.

Wow, you have beautiful eyes.

Really?

Yeah, really.

So...

great van you've got there.

Yeah, I'm livin' out of it.

I'm doin' that "on the road" thing.

But...

I'm not in any rush.

You wanna go for coffee?

Okay, here we go.

Excuse me.

Try it.

Oh... my God.

That's not a kick,

that's a one-two punch.

That'll put hair on your chest.

You're good.

You can tell a lot about a person

from sketching them.

Problems with your mother,

issues about higher education.

Single.

That's uncanny.

I asked around.

And you...

have someone?

No.

Oh, hey...

sorry.

- It's my mother.

- Where?

No, not here...

My mother and brother

are coming for a visit on Friday.

Today is Thursday.

Hey, hey, Maggie...

what are you doing?

There's no kissing. No kissing here.

You wanna kiss, go someplace else.

F***, I got families comin' in here.

I saw you and that girl last week, Tony,

on the coffee bar.

Hey, I'm a man.

She was a woman. That's different.

What about hand holding?

Hand holding okay?

Ha-ha, that's funny.

Get out.

I am out.

Just go, okay?

Lips.

I'd ask you to come home with me,

but I haven't got one yet.

Well, you know...

- There's always my place.

- Oooh... nice.

Oh, my God,

hang on!

Kim:

A hundred and twenty-five bucks.

Great.

Maggie:
You're gonna leave

it with all your stuff?

Kim:

What choice do I have?

Maggie:

God, I've never been anywhere.

Kim:

Northern Ontario was... boring.

Maggie:
Straight from high school

to residence. My mom insisted.

Kim:

Oh, but the prairies...

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