Better Watch Out Page #3

Sh*t, something's on me.

- Luke!

- What?

- Oh, sh*t, something's on me!

- What is it?

Something's on me!

Ah, sh*t!

No, no, on my face!

No!

Get it off!

Ash, look at me!

Get it off!

Get it off! Get it off!

Look at me!

I got you.

You're going to be okay.

I can't do this.

I've just gotta get

my dad's gun.

Then we'll be okay.

It's okay.

It's okay to cry.

I'm scared, too.

But I have to get the gun.

Wait, no.

Wait.

Quick! I think

he's downstairs.

Is that loaded?

Yeah, I checked.

No!

Okay, go, go, go.

You stay here.

I'm gonna go out there

and I'm gonna scare them away.

No, no, Luke, stay here.

Don't worry, I'll protect you.

Luke, going out there's

not brave, okay? It's stupid.

Luke!

Trust me.

Luke, come back!

Let go of me.

Oh, my god! Sh*t!

Can you turn it off?

It won't.

Turn it off!

Go away.

Go away.

Luke, I'm so sorry.

Please go away.

That's your mask.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god!

Ash, no!

Garrett!

Ah, dude?

Take that mask off!

What? Is this

a f***in' joke?

I...

We were gonna scare you.

Yeah, well you did. You

scared the sh*t out of me.

Why? Why?

Why would you do that?

I was gonna go save you,

but dipshit here...

Luke, your friend

is holding a real gun!

This is serious.

How could you do that?

Because you treat me

like a child.

And what, you were going to show

me how much of a man you were

by rescuing me

from fake armed robbers?

You are a child!

I almost broke my neck.

What delusional infant thinks

that staging a break-in

is gonna get you to second base?

You're mental!

You're a selfish brat with no

consideration, and you need therapy.

Lots of it.

I'm gonna go and put your dad's

hunting stuff back there...

No, Garrett, you stay

right f***ing there.

Luke, you are in

so much trouble.

I'm calling your parents.

Ashley.

Ashley!

Ashley!

What?

Dude, what'd you just do?

What the f*** did you just do?

Oh, my god. Oh, my god,

I'm moving so fast!

Whee!

Whoa!

Okay, uh, kill-f*** Mary with

the adventure time chicks.

Go.

F*** Princess bubblegum.

What?

Not Marceline?

Hell no.

One, she's made of bubble gum

so she can, like, stretch,

which leads to two,

her p*ssy tastes

like bubble gum.

Ooh, dude, that means she's all,

like, sticky and moist and sh*t.

Dude, those are pros.

Where'd you

learn that, your mom?

No, your sister.

Further, everyone from the candy

kingdom is ravenous for flesh

so you know she gives

legendary head.

Yeah, as long as you don't mind

cutting gum out of your pubes.

Not that you have to

worry about that.

Oh, my god, dude.

You gotta have one of these.

It's like...

It's like marshmallows.

Everywhere.

Maybe I should have

given you a half dose.

What'd you call it again?

Oxy.

Oxy.

It's awesome.

It's awesome.

Awesome, awesome

awesome, awesome.

Awesome.

Is that a word?

Oh, I gotta do that again.

I'm gonna go and explore.

Watch the carpet!

Damn it, my mom will kill me!

Sorry.

Just get out of there.

Come on.

Sure you know what you're doing?

Always.

Something's missing.

What the f*** is going on?

Jesus!

How many different

lotions do you have?

There.

All better.

Dude, that's f***ed up.

Come on, it's hilarious.

What do you think, Ashley?

Oh, thank you, Luke.

I've literally never

looked better!

You're probably

wondering what's going on.

It's out in the open now.

You know how I feel about you.

Look, I really, really don't

want to shoot you, Ashley,

but I will.

So if I take the gag off,

you won't scream, right?

'Cause then I have

no other choice

but to shoot you,

and like I said...

I really, really don't want to.

You get me?

Luke, listen to me, okay?

Uh-uh-uh.

I didn't say talk.

You talk when I tell you.

Okay.

Talk.

Luke, listen to me, okay?

I think I have a concussion.

I need to go to the hospital.

Put the gun down and untie me.

This needs to stop immediately.

No.

Whatever you think that you're

gonna get away with, you're not.

Ashley, you used to tell me

I could get away with murder.

- Luke!

- I'm just kidding.

God, Ashley.

Lighten the f*** up.

I'll tell you what.

Let's play truth or dare.

How about you untie me

right f***ing now?

Language, Ashley.

If you win, I will untie you,

but if you lose,

well, if you lose...

Then you drink this.

What is that?

We'll call it

my insurance policy.

Isn't it amazing

what you can get

on the playground these days.

Luke, I have known you

since you were eight.

You're threatening me

with a gun tonight.

- This is not okay.

- Whatever.

Neither is, like, political

corruption in west Africa.

By the way, I need help

with that paper.

It's due Monday.

Okay, Ashley, I'll go first.

Truth or dare?

I dare you to grow up.

Truth or dare, Ashley?

Don't make me

point the gun at you.

This is so stupid.

Truth.

I knew you'd say that.

Okay, truth.

How many guys have you f***ed?

What?

Luke, what are you doing?

This isn't you.

Just answer the question.

None.

Bullshit!

You're not a virgin.

Everybody knows

you screwed Jeremy.

No, I broke up with him because he

went around telling everybody that.

Okay. Guess it's

my turn then.

Uh, Luke, truth or dare?

Well, it'll be dare of course.

Okay.

Um...

I dare you to touch her tit.

No, please don't do that.

It's the universal rules,

Ashley.

Do you have a preference?

Right or left?

Fine, I'll pick.

Oh, that is nice.

I can see

what all the fuss is about.

Dude, are you...

Shut up!

Hey, hey.

Hey, dude, why are you shoving?

Don't push me, dude.

I will kick your ass.

Okay. Okay.

It's pretty nice, huh?

How'd that feel?

Like a little boy

just felt me up.

Ashley...

Do you know what it's like to love

someone who doesn't love you back?

More than you'd know.

No, you don't.

Everyone loves you.

All the guys wanna f*** you.

Oh, Luke. You are

in so much trouble,

the both of you,

when your parents come home.

They're never going to find out.

Your turn.

Luke, truth or dare.

Why isn't anybody asking me?

Ah, truth.

Did you ever tell Garrett

that you killed his hamster?

What?

The answer is no.

Next turn.

You said Lebron escaped out

of the hole in my screen.

He did.

He was just dead first.

What the f***, man?

It was an accident and besides,

it was, like, two years ago.

You have a cat now so he

would have died anyway.

Garrett, truth or dare?

Why would you lie to me?

Truth or dare?

Dare.

Dare, and you'd better dare us

to make out or something.

- Not on your life.

- Why not?

Why do you get to

have all the fun?

Because she's my babysitter.

You don't touch her.

Then what am I

even doing here, dude?

We were just gonna scare her and now

this has turned into, like, sh*t.

What if we get caught?

Look, I don't like this, man.

Really?

Dude, stop!

What are you doing?

Dude, I'm done, man.

I just wanna go home.

No, no, no, you can't go now.

We have to finish this.

This isn't as much

fun as you said it would be.

What if someone finds out?

You know what they do

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