Between Us Page #4

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What is what?

Look, every time an adult uses that

phrase, it's as if they've been neutered.

Church is where things

turned around for me.

I can't believe what you're...

I cannot believe this.

Look. My friends don't have

religious conversions.

- Who said religious conversion? It's just

a turning point. - It's the same thing!

- And now you're telling me your child is

baptized? - Well, isn't yours?

No.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay, fine?

What?

Don't look at me like that.

I could care less.

Right.

- I'm not judging you.

- "Isn't yours?"

Wow. Carlo.

Cut me some slack!

[SHARYL]

Joel!

[EXHALES]

Joel?

God, I am hot.

- Jesus, it's getting so warm.

- I'm fine.

I'm cold.

[GRUNTS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[GRUNTS]

Beautiful pool.

How are things at, uh...

at the agency?

Abysmal.

What are you working on?

Oh, sh*t, come on.

[CHUCKLES] You don't wanna know.

What? Tell me.

Give me a break. Give me a break!

Tell me what you're working on.

Okay, fine. Last month,

I spent 117 billable hours...

trying to get honey to drip just

right off of this, uh, granola bar.

Granola bar?

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Okay, well...

[CLEARS THROAT]

Obviously you're-you're

exceptional at what you do,

so, you know, I think you

should be proud of that.

For real.

Yeah.

Good wine.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Sharyl!

He likes it!

What?

Sharyl!

He likes the wine!

Sharyl.

Sharyl.

He likes it. He...

Is that funny to you?

- Is it funny?

- [LAUGHS]

[LOCKS DOOR]

We had a little discussion

about that earlier today.

Joel, enough. And you see,

Sharyl, in her good mood...

Joel. Blindly picked it out

of the cellar this morning.

[GRACE] You have a cellar?

Oh, God, yeah.

[CHUCKLES] Sharyl didn't show you?

Joel.

Come on. Field trip.

Yeah. Oh!

Sharyl loves it.

It's her favorite room

in the house.

You know,

it's dark, damp, dirty.

You really are gonna spoil dinner,

aren't you, Joel? God, she loves the cellar.

She loves the cedar shelves. She

loves the goblets. She loves...

Sharyl loves her decan...

I personally hate the decanter.

- But Sharyl insists on her prized

Internet auction... - Joel. Joel.

[MOCKING] Sharyl, Sharyl,

Sharyl... decanter.

Which I find ridiculous

and pretentious, by the way,

because if you know anything about wine, you

know you only decant something that needs air.

But not Sharyl. She decants...

[SINGSONGY] all of them!

So I was curious what we were gonna

drink tonight, and so I asked her.

I said, "Where'd you grab it from?" Because

I actually know a thing or two about wines.

I have them organized

in the cellar.

[GRUNTS]

Pinot, Carmnre, Malbec,

Riesling, Shiraz.

- Sharyl's white zins in a shitty box...

- Joel.

In the corner

beneath everything.

So I asked her. I said, "Sharyl,

where did you grab it from?"

And, uh,

she said to me,

in that lovely way that

she's known for, she said...

[IMITATING SHARYL]

"How the hell do I know, Joel?

I just grabbed one."

And so I pressed further. I said, "Sharyl,

come on. I mean, you're not stupid.

Just visualize the corner

you grabbed it from."

And she said to me...

I swear to God,

she said to me,

[SHOUTING]

"Hell's corner!"

[JOEL LAUGHING]

Exactly!

So, I mean... [CHUCKLES]

we could be drinking...

a hundred dollar bottle

of Ruffino, or...

or cooking wine.

[MUTTERS]

Well, you've decorated it beautifully.

Thank you.

You think? Yeah, copper pots in the

kitchen, digital baby grand piano.

Oh, hey, let me show you something.

Look at this.

It's a, uh... It's a limited edition

series monoprint by Roberson.

It's all kind of revolting,

if you ask me.

So much space. I'm really happy

the way it's turning out.

If you're not used to so much space, it

can make you anxious. Can we tell 'em?

Can we please tell 'em?

Look at that plant.

There's all this free space

around it, you know?

The sight of it nags me.

You know?

Sometimes I'll even take

something, and I'll move it,

just to fill up that space.

[SCRAPING SOUND]

Whoa.

Then of course the space I

moved it from is now empty.

So I put it back.

Well, you have

a beautiful house now.

[SHARYL]

Thank-Thank you.

It feels very...

opulent.

[SIGHS SOFTLY]

Really sorry to have you

both sleep in the living room.

It's just that, uh, we're... we're remodeling

the guest room on the second floor.

[WHISPERS]

I'm sorry.

[SIGHS]

I'll be right back.

So, hey, what else you got going

on out here, huh? Any shows?

Freelance?

Using that talent?

I'll go

and check on the baby.

[BABY CRYING UPSTAIRS]

Let's go do something fun.

Just me and you.

Okay.

Okay.

[SHARYL]

Oh. Shh.

Shh.

[BABY FUSSES]

[SIGHS, WHISPERS]

Here we go.

Ah. Shh.

He's beautiful.

Thank you.

You ever miss New York?

No.

[WHISPERS] No. [CAR DOORS

CLOSING, ENGINE STARTS]

[SHARYL WHISPERS]

Oh, they're leaving.

[SHARYL SIGHS]

- Maybe I should drive. Want me to drive?

- Nah, it's all right. F*** you.

This is a real car. It's not

Sharyl's f***in' mommy-mobile.

- [GRACE] Are you guys okay?

- How do you mean?

It's none of my business.

You're right. It's not.

But Joel obviously

wants to make it yours.

I'm sorry I asked. Oh, it's fine.

It is what it is.

[CARLO] Whoa, whoa, relax.

Relax.

You're originally from

the Midwest, right, Carlo?

Uh, well, I warned you...

I warned you. No paradise.

Oh, the cold.

Good God.

[CARLO] Yeah, the cold is uninhabitable.

And the people!

- [CARLO] The people are nice, huh?

- [CHUCKLES]

Do you like it out here?

I do, Grace.

I do.

Sure, it's been a change. But my

life has changed. My life is here.

[CARLO] Whoa.

Easy there, big guy.

Did you ever notice that when you ask

people from these uninhabitable places...

what makes this part

of the country so special,

they always say

it's the people, right?

"The people are good. The people are nice.

The people are friendly."

- Slow down. Slow down.

- You know why they say this?

- Because there's nothing else here.

- The roads are big.

The sky is big. The houses, as

you can see, are very, very big.

Joel. Whenever there's a

lack of anything decent,

you can always rely on

the good people. Joel!

- Ice cold winters.

- No grime.

- Gray skies. - You don't have to wash

when you walk in the front door.

- Mosquito summers.

- There's no sirens at night.

Joel, stop the f***ing car!

The people are good.

- Traffic.

- Our sports teams are good.

The sound of your neighbors

f***ing against the wall.

That touchdown last week

was so f***ing good!

- Joel!

- [TIRES SCREECHING]

[WHISPERS]

It's quiet.

[JOEL SIGHS]

[EXHALES] Dresden

after World War II...

had more to do than

this f***ing wasteland.

There's nothing.

There is nothing to do.

But... we have

our painted faces...

and we have

our sports teams.

And we have our sausages.

And we have our people.

- Let's just go home, all right, Joel?

- F*** that!

Come on! Let's get some sh*t

beer, and let's get f***ed up.

[PATTING SHOULDER]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[PHONE RINGS]

Where are you guys?

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