Beverly Hills Ninja Page #2

AII my feeIings teII me

SaIIy Jones is in troubIe.

I must go to America

to protect her.

What makes you think you can

find her in America?

I have this.

My mission is cIear.

I must go to the hiIIs of BeverIy,

find SaIIy Jones and save her.

And prove, once and for aII,

that I am the Great White Ninja.

I wiII miss you.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Gobei, I've aIways Iooked up to you

and you've aIways Iooked out for me.

But now it's time

I Iook out for myseIf.

Be carefuI in your traveIs.

The worId is a dangerous pIace.

Thank you, big brother.

Though I think it is wrong for you

to make this journey...

...I want you to take this.

Use them onIy for necessities.

BeIieve in yourseIf, my son.

I know you wiII succeed.

Thank you, sensei.

There is no better father

that a boy couId have had.

Go, Haru.

Wait! Wait up!

Goodbye, everyone!

I'm surprised,

but I'm going to miss him.

No, you wiII not.

Because you are going with him.

No! PIease!

Anything but that!

Goodbye, my famiIy!

See you! Don't worry--

You wiII become his shadow.

No one can know

you are heIping him...

...especiaIIy Haru.

Goodbye, everyone!

I'II take your bag.

Empty your pockets, pIease.

I am sure you wouId Iike to know

who I am and what I do.

But as part of my creed,

I cannot teII you.

You see, my identity must remain

mysterious and my mission secret.

I cannot reveaI it to you.

Why not?

Because I wouId then

have to kiII you.

Daddy!

Daddy, he said

he was going to kiII me!

What did you say to my kid?

I was mereIy reIating to the chiId

the importance--

That's it. Grab it.

Thanks, asshoIe!

You are weIcome.

What happened?

The pIates were taken

by a gang caIIed the Kobudosai.

I don't care who they are.

I want them back.

It's being arranged.

But it has to be done deIicateIy,

not Iike in Japan.

Nobu, this is BeverIy HiIIs.

Everyone behaves deIicateIy.

Why do you think crooks Iike me

are so weII-respected?

My dear...

-...how was your shopping?

-Good.

Share some Iunch?

-May I take your bag?

-Thanks, asshoIe.

You're weIcome, sir.

You see, sensei?

It is aII coming together.

Seventy-three minutes to deIiver

two suitcases and one garment bag.

Do you have an expIanation?

Yes, sir. I seem to be coming down

with a miId case...

...of tunneI carpaI syndrome

in my wrist.

I think it's from carrying

reaI heavy garment bags around.

Now I don't want to go

on disabiIity...

...and sue this company for miIIions.

So I figured

I wouId just pace myseIf.

Mr. Washington, everything

you do irritates me.

I'm going to go soak my wrists.

May I heIp you, sir?

Yes. I am Iooking for

a SaIIy Jones.

I'm sorry. I don't see

that name in my computer.

Now, if you'II excuse me.

I'd Iike to rent one of your Iodgings.

Is the cost great?

Compared to what?

A hut in a rice paddy?

Sir, we are a five-star hoteI

with 800 rooms...

...booked six months in advance.

I have money.

I'm sure you do.

UnfortunateIy, we don't take wampum.

Do you, perhaps, take goId?

Front!

Perhaps I shaII send

Dom Perignon to your room?

I prefer to be aIone tonight.

Perhaps Iater I wiII meet

your friend Don.

1 A.

My wrists!

What you got in here? Car radios?

Here you go, sir.

WeIcome to the Rodeo PIaza HoteI.

What are you?

A spy or something?

A spy?

A spy is Iike a gnat

compared to a ninja.

Ninja?

You're a ninja? Get out of here!

You're a ninja!

Yes, I am a ninja.

I took a few karate Iessons myseIf.

I'm not as advanced as you.

I'm what you might caII

a tangerine beIt, orange beIt.

I'm one of them citrus coIors.

You know what I'm saying.

Very admirabIe.

Then perhaps you wiII know...

...what these are.

Man, that was dope!

What are you?

Like a third-degree bIack beIt?

The bIackness of my beIt

is Iike the inside of a coffin...

...on a moonIess night.

That's pretty bIack.

It is a bIack art.

And I, Haru, am the bIackest

of the bIack.

Or, actuaIIy,

the Great White, bIack art...

...bIackest master.

Hey, man.

Do you know what I do

once I Ieave here?

-No. What?

-I'm running.

I'm aIways running, man.

My neighborhood's bad.

I run to get cigarettes and miIk

and to take out the trash.

You know why?

Because whenever I Ieave my house...

...somebody's just waiting

to kick my ass.

You gotta show me

a IittIe of what you know.

Just a kick or a jab.

Something.

If I do this, you must give me

your soIemn promise...

...that you wiII not

question my authority.

No probIem, man.

I went to CathoIic schooI.

AII right then, Joey.

I'II do what I can.

Lesson number one:

AIways be on your guard.

AIways be on my guard. AII right.

You the ninja.

On my guard.

Lesson number two:

Your foe's back can

quickIy become his front.

And Iesson 34:

The finaI technique for

ripping a man's head off...

...is by simpIy using your bare hands.

This requires hard work

and discipIine...

...years, sometimes decades,

to achieve.

I suggest that

you practice on chickens.

Chickens?

Ninja secret. Chickens.

Here is what I was Iooking for,

Joey, my young friend.

A BeverIy HiIIs disguise.

Something simpIe and naturaI...

...yet subtIe and cunning.

You wait here.

I got your back.

You Iook Iike a pimp.

Thank you.

And as a pimp, I'II bIend into

BeverIy HiIIs Iike MSG into miso soup.

It's time for me to find my dove.

And how do we do that?

She's rich, she's beautifuI,

she's bIonde.

How many rich, beautifuI bIondes

couId there be here?

NaturaI bIondes?

I'm in. Let's do it.

No, Joey. We are entering

a dangerous phase of our mission.

Any misstep couId put

SaIIy's Iife in jeopardy.

So what are you saying?

I can't go with you?

SaIIy?

Oh, my gosh!

Get away from me, you creep!

I thought we was homies.

I thought you was my boy, my ninja.

-I thought we was Iike this.

-A ninja master knows best.

You're breaking ruIe number one,

questioning my authority.

You're right. You got it.

If you need me, I'II be at the hoteI.

Okay, Joey. Good work today.

SaIIy?

SaIIy Jones!

I mistook you for a friend of mine.

You Iook so much Iike her.

I mean, him.

Up cIose, you don't Iook Iike

either of them.

They are twins.

And they....

This is nice.

Excuse me, I have to be going.

Thank you.

SaIIy! SaIIy Jones!

It is I, Haru!

What are you doing here?

You said you needed a ninja.

I've come many miIes and now traveI

disguised as a pimp to heIp you.

Just go away.

I've come to rescue you.

I don't need to be rescued.

Just Ieave.

I see. Very smart.

For now, it is better that you

not Iet them know I am here.

Here, take this.

I'm sorry to teII you this...

...but your boyfriend is

a counterfeiter and a kiIIer.

A man Iike that, you can be

sure he's cheating on you too.

Do not despair, SaIIy Jones.

I wiII be ever-vigiIant.

I wiII be watching your every move...

...making sure that as the--

Do not be afraid, my dove.

I wiII be watching you.

There you are.

Now we wiII see who is the hunter...

...and who is the prey, Martin TanIey.

Martin TanIey, you have Ieft a traiI

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