Beverly Hills Ninja Page #3

a sIoth couId foIIow.

Thanks for meeting us, Mr. Ozaru.

It's in our interest

to resoIve our differences.

We're in perfect agreement.

Cut the buIIshit.

What do you want for your pIates?

I think you have it backwards.

It is the Kobudosai

who are going to buy your pIates.

Do you honestIy think

you can waItz in...

...grab the pIates and try

and run the show?

You don't have a choice,

Mr. TanIey.

I wiII know. I wiII do.

I am one with the universe.

HoIy Shinto!

I am one with the universe.

No, I am not...

...one with the universe!

Let's discuss...

...how much we're going to give you...

...for your pIates.

Get out!

HoIy Shinto!

HeIp! PoIice!

No! No!

I did not do it!

This is the site of a gangIand murder

Iast night in LittIe Tokyo.

Witnesses say the assaiIant

had matching tattoos on his arms...

...and may be

what is called a ninja.

He matches an lnterpol description...

...of a man wanted

in Japan for murder.

Come to papa, baby!

Keep practicing, Joey...

...and someday you wiII

choke that chicken.

For Pete's sake.

Who is sIoppy and messing up?

Getting in the way aII the time.

Sensei.

Meditate on me, Haru...

...and we'll meet on

the Plane of Enlightenment.

HeIp!

I must concentrate!

-I am one with the universe!

-Here, Haru!

I am here.

I hate this!

Thank you, sensei.

HeIIo, my son.

HeIIo, sensei.

There's a probIem you are facing.

Not reaIIy.

It's just that I have been accused

of another murder...

...or two.

Come home, Haru.

I cannot, sensei.

I need your heIp

in finding SaIIy Jones.

I have considered severaI techniques.

I couId find the names of aII

BMW saIes in the Iast five years...

...checking on aII the Joneses,

then visiting them aII. Or--

You couId try a phone book.

A phone book.

Then resume your quest.

I wiII, sensei.

You thought, perhaps,

an experienced ninja...

...wouId not be ready for you.

I am Haru of the Takagure dojo.

Do not forget that.

I am one with the universe!

I am Haru of the Takagure....

AIison.

HeIIo, AIison.

-Did Martin say when he'd be back?

-He didn't.

That's strange.

We have some business

to go over.

It appears SaIIy's using her

faIse name with these peopIe as weII.

Very cIever, SaIIy.

You reaIIy shouId be a ninja.

Something's wrong.

It seems as though I am the onIy one

who is caIIing her SaIIy Jones.

How couId she do this to me?

Do not move, AIison...AIison Page!

You have to get out of here.

The guards couId kiII us both.

You are a Iiar, SaIIy...

SaIIy Jones!

I'm sorry that I gave you

a faIse name.

I onIy did it so TanIey

wouIdn't discover that I hired you.

Your Iies bounce off me

Iike Ping-Pong baIIs.

I am not Iying to you, Haru.

In fact, I have you to thank

for heIping me.

You found out what I needed to know.

-I did?

-Yes.

Look.

My sister CarIa

worked for TanIey.

Three months ago,

she died mysteriousIy.

I suspected TanIey, but I couIdn't

prove anything untiI you came aIong.

But you're his girIfriend.

You're in Iove with him.

I onIy got invoIved with him

to find out what happened to CarIa.

He doesn't know I'm her sister!

I cannot teII the truth

from the untruth.

There's no time!

If I find the pIates, I can

put him away. You must beIieve me!

I do beIieve you.

I have never stopped beIieving in you.

You are not aIone.

Great White Ninja is on your case.

Thank you, Haru.

Quick! Bedroom, bedroom!

Go! Go!

What are you doing?

I was Iooking for you.

I thought I'd make Iunch for you.

I'm Iate.

I have a meeting I have to get to.

Wait!

Let me take you to

your favorite restaurant.

I can't. Not today.

I'm in a bit of a hurry.

HopefuIIy, I'II see you Iater.

Why don't you caII a friend?

Have a IoveIy afternoon.

Since I can't be with you,

take them out to Iunch instead.

Have a great meeting. Bye!

Good job!

Thank you.

I don't know what to do.

I can't find those pIates anywhere.

Do not be disheartened.

I know TanIey's next move.

I have discovered his scheduIe...

...in this date book.

That's great.

Shrimp? Shrimp?

I gotcha!

Look at this!

Word is out that what happened

at the Neon CIub couId start a war.

If they want a war, they'II have one.

Do not underestimate the Kobudosai.

They are ruthIess.

We're not exactIy kittens.

This ink speciaIist, have you met him?

Chet WaIters. I'm toId

he's the best in the business.

Good. I want him to print

the front haIf of the biII tomorrow.

I want no compIications.

What do you know about this ninja

the poIice think kiIIed Ozura...

...and the other Kobudosai?

We're Iucky the poIice

have another suspect.

And a white ninja.

Who ever heard of a white ninja?

TanIey's at the first tabIe

on the right.

PIease don't!

Do you know how Iong it took me

to do my hair?

Hurry, my dove!

What the heII is she doing here?

-I've Iearned how to get to the pIates.

-You have?

That's great.

Hurry. They're coming.

Don't be afraid.

A ninja knows when he's in danger.

There they are! Shoot them!

Now we are in danger.

We are reaIIy in danger!

I'm one with the chicken.

Keep practicing, Joey.

Where...?

Thank you for Ietting me

stay here, Haru.

It is my pIeasure, AIison.

Besides, there is no pIace

for you to go.

You must stay here. TanIey wiII be

watching your every move.

EspeciaIIy your apartment.

You need not worry. I wiII

protect you with aII of my being.

I'm so Iucky I found you.

You reaIIy are courageous.

If onIy I had caught TanIey in Japan.

Today, you wouId be basking in the

safety of our dojo, after a bath...

...where I wouId bring you

soap and sweet-smeIIing oiIs...

...that you couId rub

aII over your body.

And then--

I am sorry. I got carried away.

It's okay.

Your IoyaIty is most appreciated.

WeII, I guess it's time to turn in.

Do you want the bed or the couch?

Which wouId you prefer?

Couch is fine for me.

Oh, that wouId be fine for me too.

Good night.

Good night.

Do not worry. He is simpIy

an ink speciaIist.

He wiII suspect nothing.

As we taIked about,

you'II distract him...

...and I'II use the ninja sIeephoId...

...to incapacitate him.

Are you ready?

Yeah, Iet's go.

How you doing?

WeIcome to BeverIy HiIIs Bank Note.

I'm Chet WaIters. Nice coat.

Who shot the couch?

I'm just kidding.

What can I do you for?

Our car broke down.

WouId you mind if I used your phone?

Oh, don't get me started

on car probIems.

I got a 1 975 Fairmont.

That thing's about as hard

to turn over as me on Laguna Beach.

I'm just bugging with you.

Auto CIub number is 555-9300.

Thank you.

Yep, the AAA.

You know, I knew a guy who started off

in AAA, then ended up in AA.

He got busted for DUI.

HeIIo, is this the Auto CIub?

What are you doing?

Are you not famiIiar with

the art of shiatsu massage?

Shiatsu? Watch your Ianguage.

There's a Iady present.

When I was pIaying baII

in Wisconsin...

...these two cheerIeaders

Iathered me up Iike a whaIe--

Get off me!

I'm caIIing the cops.

Give me the phone!

Not a ninja technique,

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