Bicentennial Man

[Mechanical Buzzing, Beeping]

[Electronic Noises Continue]

-Nice place, huh?

-I've seen better.

Everybody downstairs!

-Good afternoon.

-Afternoon, sir.

Where do you want this thing?

just through there, thank you.

Come on, you guys.

I've got a surprise for you!

-Want me to place him

right over here, sir?

-Yup, just over there.

H-Here's a place. Here.

Yeah, okay. Move it over here.

-There ya go. Nice and easy.

-That's right.

Easy. Lift it up.

[Grunts]

Sweetie, come away from it,

please.

-W-What is it, Daddy?

-Wait, wait, wait.

Wow.

[Chuckling]

Wow.

Oh, my.

[Delivery Man]

Thank you, sir. Enjoy your NDR.

-[Remote Clicks]

-[Electronic Whirring]

NorthAm Robotics

household model NDR-114,

serial number 583625.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Are you one's family?

Well, um, I guess so.

It's scary.

It's not scary.

It's stupid.

-I doubt that.

-Jenny Harrison's family's got one,

-I doubt that.

-Jenny Harrison's family's got one,

-so does Kate McAllister--

they're all the same.

-What is it?

-It's an android.

-What's an "Andrew"?

[Father Laughs]

Will that be one's name?

Well, why not?

It sounds good.

-Hello, Andrew.

-Hello, sir.

Would you care to hear

the three laws of robotics?

-It's said to be a most

entertaining presentation.

-Okay. Sure.

-Will you step back, sir,

to maximize presentation?

-Right.

[Whirring Begins,

Accelerates]

-[Sousa March Begins]

-[Gasping]

First law of robotics:

A robot may not injure a human being,

or, through inaction,

cause a human being to come to harm.

Second law:

A robot must obey

all human orders,

except where those orders

come in conflict with the first law.

Third law:

A robot must protect itself,

so long as doing so does not conflict

with the first two laws.

[March Ends]

Andrew,

don't ever do that again.

Of course not, sir.

It is a one-time only.

[Andrew] There is another option that

one is obligated to point out, sir:

You may have one

with or without personality.

-Would you care to see a demo

of the personality chip?

-Uh, no, no, thank you.

-We'll stick with what we've got.

-A wise choice, sir, if one may say so.

Well, you'll be staying down here.

Got everything you need?

-One only requires access

to a power outlet.

-Good.

Right. Well, um,

good night, Andrew.

It certainly is, sir.

No. No, Andrew,

The correct response to

"good night" is "good night."

-Good night.

-Yes.

-You just said "yes."

-Yes?

But the correct response to

"good night" is "good night."

-Good night, Andrew.

-Good night, sir.

-Good night, Andrew.

-Good night, sir.

-You only need to say it once.

-Or one would be saying it

forever, sir,

in an infinite verbal loop.

Exactly.

-Thank you, sir.

-Good.

Night.

Sorry, sir.

[Electronic Whirring, Pulsing]

Honey, I don't want it...

following me around the house all day.

Can't-Can't you turn it off

or something, please?

just give him a job.

It'll be okay.

-Well--Seat belts!

-[Kids] Seat belts!

[Computer] Good morning,

Mr. Martin. Today's temperature

will be in the high 70s.

[Kids]

Bye, Mom!

-Have a good day, sweethearts.

-Have a good day, sweethearts.

[Computer Voice Continues]

[Sighs]

-Mmm. Andrew, this is very good.

-Thank you, sir.

-[Father] Don't you think?

-I think it sucks.

"Sucks"? How?

Chickens do not have lips.

[Snickers]

She's being rude. You mind your manners,

young lady, please.

-We're fine, Andrew.

-Indeed you are, sir.

The kitchen.

It's fine too, sir.

No.

Go to the kitchen now.

[Sighs]

Hello.

Come on.

Maybe it's a big bluff.

Just a pretty face.

Check.

[Girl]

Oh, Andrew, could you come up?

[Girl]

Oh, Andrew, could you come up?

-Should I--

-No. It'll be fine.

-Yes, miss?

-Andrew, would you please

open the window?

One is glad

to be of service.

A lovely breeze.

Now jump.

No,

out the window.

[Dog Barking in Distance]

-Did you hear something?

-Was that an earthquake?

[Door bell Rings]

[Brokenly]

Sorry for the inconvenience.

May one re-re-re-enter...

-er-er?

-What happened, Andrew?

[Distorted]

For the sake of family harmony,

[Winding Down]

one is programmed not to tell.

-[Low Electronic Moaning]

-Andrew? Andrew!

Yeah?

[Rattling]

Amanda, Grace,

downstairs right away.

-Come in, Andrew.

-Thank you, si-i-i-r.

[Whirring Brokenly]

Andrew's not a person,

he's a form of property.

One is not

a per-r-r-r-r-r-r-

son.

But property is

also important.

So from now on,

as a matter of principle,

in this family Andrew will be treated

as if he were a person.

Which means there will be

no more attempts to break him.

Break him?

Your sister tried

to kill Andrew.

You too?

-Shh.

-[Whispering] Sorry.

Come on.

Everyone up to bed.

-Will you be all right, Andrew?

-One is capable of

self-mai-ai-aintenance, sir.

Good.

-Good night, Andrew.

-Good night, Andrew.

Guh, guh, guh--

G-Good night.

[Whirring Brokenly]

[Muttering Brokenly]

Good night, Andrew. Good... night.

Miss, one has been given

specific orders for your safety,

and that is an unsafe area.

Now, come down.

Okay.

Thank you.

"Well, I think it's gonna be

sunny tonight."

[Feminine Voice]

"Me too."

[Falsetto]

"So do I."

He's my favorite.

Pretty.

Would you like

to hold him?

That was my favorite.

They don't even

make him anymore.

-Can it be repaired, Little Miss?

-No, it can't!

-You're screwed.

-I hate you!

Get away from me.

-Can we fix him?

-No. Look at him--

he's in a million pieces!

-[Sighs]

-I'm sorry. There's

nothing you can do.

Put the rest of them away.

Wow.

-Andrew!

-Yes, Little Miss?

This is the best present

I ever got.

One is glad

to be of service.

Would you please

come with me?

Does this involve

a window?

[Chuckling] No.

You can sit here.

His name is Woofy,

and from now on...

he's yours.

-Woofy.

-Uh-huh.

Because sometimes

he barks,

once he gets to know you.

Oh.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

I have to go

to sleep now, Andrew.

-Yes.

-Yeah. Can you, kinda--

Of course.

-Good night, sweetheart.

-Good night, Andrew.

-Little Miss?

-Sure. Thanks.

Miss?

-After you.

-Well, thank you.

You're welcome.

Andrew, did you

really make this?

Yes, sir.

A robot cannot

tell a lie, Andrew.

That is not

entirely correct, sir.

One could lie,

if one were ordered to lie,

or if it were necessary to tell

some untruth in order to keep

a human being from harm,

-or if one's own safety were

in jeopardy--Sir?

-Andrew.

One did indeed carve that

for Little Miss.

-And the design--

you're responsible for that?

-Yes, sir.

-What did you copy it from?

-Copy it, ma'am?

Well, I mean, you didn't just get it

out of thin air.

You got it out of some book,

right, or used the computer

to plot it out?

One did nothing more than study

the raw material for a time...

until one came to understand how best

to carve it into a shape...

that would appeal to Little Miss's

love of tiny mammals.

[Soprano Singing Aria]

[Continues]

[Continues, Louder]

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