Big Business Page #3

Synopsis: In the 1940s in the small town of Jupiter Hollow, two sets of identical twins are born in the same hospital on the same night. One set to a poor local family and the other to a rich family just passing through. The dizzy nurse on duty accidentally mixes the twins unbeknown to the parents. Our story flashes forward to the 1980s where the mismatched sets of twins are about to cross paths following a big business deal to closedown the Jupiter Hollow factory.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Jim Abrahams
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.4
Rotten Tomatoes:
40%
PG
Year:
1988
97 min
1,453 Views


And I want so many things.

I want designer clothes.

I want to see the world.

I want a penthouse in the sky

and a maid to pick up after me.

I want to say things

like, "Keep the change."

God, sometimes I get so bored...

I find myself just prayin'

for a UFO sightin'.

I'd stand here and I'd say,

"Come and get me. Come and get me."

Yeah, well, you're bored 'cause

you got no sense of purpose.

Why don't you help me

with this Moramax mess?

Over my dead...

What do you mean?

Leave town?

Go to New York City?

- It's a dangerous, dirty,

low-down place, Sadie.

- I know! I know!

Oh, my God! What'll I wear?

I gotta get my hair cut.

Oh! This is just

the sense of purpose I need.

I gotta get me some

of those press-on nails.

Do those things stay on?

I wouldn't want 'em floppin' off

in any of those fancy nightclubs.

Listen. Nightclubs? This is business.

Now, you get a grip on yourself.

We're goin' to New York City!

We're goin' to New York City!

Ooh! Oh! What are you

gonna tell Roone?

I don't know.

Just keep your eye on the ball.

Hey, how's my baby?

You know, If I can birdie the

windmill hole this year, I got a good

chance of winnin' the Masters.

- Oh, look at that!

- Whoo-whoo! You see that?

- Isn't that somethin'?

- You know, when this tournament's over,

I'm gonna take you away for a week.

I'm gonna take you up to the tiptop

of Blue Ridge Mountain.

- It might be more like

the Empire State Building.

- What?

Oh, no, you're not gonna get me

in no New York City.

You know, for a while there, I was

worried they were gonna send you

to New York during the tournament.

- Listen.

- Hey, without my good luck charm,

I'd be sunk.

- Listen, Roone, I have

to tell you something.

- Oh, wait, wait. Shh, shh, shh, shh.

- I got a surprise for ya.

- Oh, goodness.

- What is this?

- It's a real golf ball,

miniaturized down.

I saw it in Big Putts magazine.

And if I win this tournament...

I'm gonna replace it

with a real diamond.

- Well, um...

- Marry me, baby.

Roone, um...

Oh, God.

- He just doesn't understand me.

- So what happened? What'd you say?

I told him

I'd let him know.

- You didn't tell him you were

gonna miss his tournament?

- No, I did not.

It's bad enough breaking his heart

without throwin' his game off.

- Mornin', Mayor.

- Mornin', ladies.

- Oh, come on, Duke.

Get your tail out of that truck,

you big ol' baby!

Oh, here, let me help you.

Oh! Feels like you packed

your whole damn closet.

- How long you plannin'

to stay for, anyway?

- For as long as I can.

- What do you mean by that?

- I mean I'm not comin' back.

Are you crazy?

Does Hilda know? Does Winona?

No, and don't you tell 'em, either,

or I'll tell Roone

you're missin' his tournament.

- Oh, you got a heart the size

of an unsoaked pinto bean.

- Then I oughta fit right in

in New York.

Mama and Papa would've

been so proud of you.

- Don't carry all your money

in one place.

- Don't go into the subways.

- Don't talk to any strangers.

- No.

- Or eat clams.

- No.

Auntie Sadie! Auntie Sadie,

will you bring me back a surprise?

Oh, little Levon.

You know I wouldn't forget you.

Now, what's that all about?

We're gonna see you in two days.

- Come on, let's go. Let's go. Come on.

- Okay, you go, you go.

- Get in the truck.

- Bye-bye!

- Good luck!

- Bye!

Take care! Hurry home!

Yee-haw!

Well, first of all, I thought I'd

show you this year's annual report.

- The photo of you two is great.

- Oh, my God! How did I get so fat?

I look like a walleyed salmon!

What did he use,

a wide-angle lens?

No, he didn't.

See, I look thin.

L-I mean I look thin. I mean,

I was sitting near the window.

- There was a lot of light.

- I know what you mean.

I don't understand how it is...

that you, my own sister, can stuff

your face and nothing happens...

and I subsist on 60 calories a day

or else blow up like a Macy's Day float.

Do you mind?

No, we're not going to Greenwich

tonight. The stockholders' meeting

is at the Plaza.

Get us our usual suite.

By the way, Rose...

Fabio Alberici is flying in today.

Uh, Sadie, uh, you know, I know that

I'm not that good at figures, but, um...

I mean, if we can't make a profit,

what makes him think he can?

That's his problem.

Now, this deal is not closed yet,

so I think we should...

trot on out to the airport

and greet him personally.

Italians love meaningless

gestures of respect.

Makes them feel virile.

- What are you laughing at?

- Oh, this is another crank letter.

- From whom?

- This R. Ratliff person

from Jupiter Hollow.

I've written him all sorts of

soothing letters, but he insists

on coming up with his sister...

to, uh, "raise some hell and kick some

snooty New York ass at the stockhol..."

Why didn't you show me this?

What if he actually shows up?

I mean, this is just the kind of

hysterical intrusion I don't want.

A couple of moist-eyed bumpkins making

an impassioned plea to save their...

- Well, the board is

suspicious enough as it is.

- Suspicious? Of what?

Nothing.

I have a job for you.

A Harvard MBA for this?

How are we supposed to find

these Ratliff people?

Who do I look like to you?

Nancy Drew? I mean, really!

Now, listen. These Ratliffs

are absolute hicks.

- There should be no problem

in finding them at all.

- Taxi!

- Over here, taxi!

- Chuck? Chuck!

- Where did you go?

- I'm in the cab.

- Harlan, stay to the right.

- Who are you kiddin'?

I haven't got lost since the day

the two of you were born.

- And that was at least...

- We know how many years ago

that was, Harlan. Just drive.

Where do we find

the suitcases, Rose?

- Oh, here. Look.

Over here, Sadie. Over...

- Okay. All right.

Oh, look at my glove.

- Oh, my God.

- Here, stick with me.

Come on, now, stick with me.

- Watch where you're going, lady.

- You're going the wrong way.

- What's the hold-up here?

I'm late for a flight.

- Rose! Rose!

- Stay with me.

- Wait here.

- Thank you, Harlan.

Here you are, Mr Alberici.

Oh, great. He's early.

Well, who looks Italian?

I don't know, you foreigners.

Oh, I hope we didn't miss him.

- Bus number 79 to Roosevelt Parkway.

- Come on, Rose.

- 182 to Kew Gardens.

- Oh, the heck with that, Rose.

- I'm in New York.

I wanna act like a New Yorker.

- Sadie, hold on! Hold on, now.

Hold on!

Oh, my God!

- I don't know what I'm gonna do...

- Rose and Sadie?

At last we meet.

Do we know you?

Oh, uh, I am Fabio Alberici.

Graham Sherbourne told me

to look for you.

But you are not easy to find.

They wouldn't let me park.

I had to keep circlin' and circlin'.

Did-Did you go and buy

yourselves brand new outfits?

- How'd you know?

- Come over here a sec.

- Wow, what's goin' on?

- You know that Graham Sherbourne who

wrote us those shuck and jive letters?

I bet he sent this fella

over here to soft-soap us.

- Oh, but how'd they know

when we were comin' in?

- Are you kiddin'?

Computer chips. They got their ways.

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes

Dori Pierson

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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