Big Daddy

- Hello?

- Sonny, it's your dad You asleep?

No. Hey, man. I was exercising.

- Bullshit You were sleeping

- I wasn't.

This kid won't stop lying to me

You still act like you're six

Yeah, okay, Dad

I act like I'm six

Found a job yet, where

you work more than one day a week?

I've been looking

Looking won't pay the rent

All the money I won

from the cab accident

is kicking ass

in the stock market, so relax

- Don't blow it on worthless crap

- I won't

You should spend it on your bar exam

You're the lawyer

I ain't taking a bar exam

I got too much other sh*t going on

I don't know what happened to you

How're things going with

your girlfriend, Vanessa?

Things are going fine.

Sh*t!

I gotta go.

Sh*t! You turned off

the alarm clock again.

No! I mean, yes, I did,

but I thought you needed more sleep.

I shouldn't have stayed here.

That was a jerk thing to do.

Why are you going to work?

It's Sunday.

I'm not going to work. I'm going to

brunch with potential clients.

That's how a party planner

gets business, by making contacts.

Meet with me. I'll order in

from Cozy's. We'll have fun.

I am sick of Cozy's.

You order in from there all the time.

The delivery guy's your best friend.

He happens to be pretty damn nice.

This is a rough patch in my life.

Syracuse is 0 and 3.

And I got those medical problems.

Medical problems?

A cab runs over your foot two years ago.

You're hospitalized one night.

First of all, that cab was huge.

And a jury decided that one night

of pain was worth $200,000.

- So there you go.

- Whatever.

Why are you being

so nuts to me lately?

You refuse to move on

to the next phase.

I'd like to have a family someday.

I need someone I can rely on,

not a playmate.

You need a father figure?

"Stop pulling your sister's hair!"

You know what? I'm gonna go to

Syracuse to see my mom.

- I'll be back on Wednesday.

- What are you talking about?

I had call for delivery, but it was

crank call. You want chocolate cake?

Come back later.

I'll Indian wrestle you.

You're going down, sucker.

We'll see about that.

Okay. Peace, out.

You're going to Syracuse?

I need time to think and so do you.

Think about what?

Your life and why I should

be a part of it.

All right.

While you're at it,

think about getting a real job.

I got a real job!

Patrick Ewing, nice shot.

- Hey, Sonny.

- What's up, buddy boy?

I'm out the door. Hey, pal.

- Where you going?

- Manhattan.

You wanna take me with you?

All right, I guess.

Hold onto your money.

Later on.

Okay, take care, Sonny.

See you.

Cadillac, I love it.

Surprise!

Just ignore him.

It's only Sonny. It's only Sonny.

Yeah, it's only me. It's only me.

- What's going on?

- Corinne's going-away party for Kevin.

She didn't tell me.

The roommate has a right to know.

She knew you'd ruin the surprise.

No, I wouldn't.

Hey, surprise.

Surprise.

What's going on?

We wasted the good surprise on you.

All right.

Is this your handiwork?

I guess.

See you in three hours.

Good to see you stiffs.

What've you been doing?

Last three weeks have been crazy.

I've been in Denver, Dallas...

I'm sleeping in the office.

We're going to trial on the fraud case.

Honey, it was a great surprise.

I was totally shocked.

No, you weren't!

And I worked so hard on this.

Need some help?

- Honey, your sister's here.

- Hey, sweetie.

I hate Sonny.

My client's out $7 million. All we

can sue on is breach of contract.

Maybe you can sue under

the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

I gotta get back to the office.

You're the king.

Mikey, a pleasure.

- I'll see you at home.

- All right.

I'll walk you out.

I gotta admit, I'm still

weirded out when they kiss.

Why? They're gay.

That's what gay guys do.

I know, but they were like

brothers to us back in school.

They're still like our brothers.

Our very, very gay brothers.

What are you doing after this?

Going to a Klan meeting?

Remember when Dad had that barbecue

for his friends and it rained...

...so he and Mom went into the

kitchen and made...

...100 hamburgers with one frying pan?

You're not gonna let a little rain

stop you from making 100 hamburgers.

That relationship's lasted longer

than I thought it would.

Look at his eyes. He's bored.

I give it two more weeks.

Hey, excuse me. Everybody!

I'm sorry. I wanted to thank you

for coming tonight.

I guess I should say...

I'm getting it.

Tomorrow I'm leaving for China to

represent the firm of Morton and Mandel.

Me, the same guy who once shaved

his ass to win a $5 bet.

Prove it!

Just kidding.

But I am real glad you're all here

tonight, because...

...I'm gonna do what I never thought

I'd have the guts to do.

You're not proposing, are you?

Yeah, pal, I am.

Well, think about it, you know?

God, Sonny, shut up!

Anyway, will you?

Yeah.

Good call on the two weeks.

Sonny, what was that all about?

Congratulations. You and

"Big B*obs" McGee are gonna be happy.

Don't call her that.

You wanna tell your children you met

their mother as a waitress at Hooters?

Sonny, that was five years ago.

She's a doctor now...

...and my fiance, so from now on...

...Dr. Big B*obs McGee.

- Congratulations.

- Thanks, man.

I just...

...got sh*t going on.

What's the matter?

Vanessa's gonna break up with me...

...and I don't know how

to make her wanna stay.

She's getting older.

She wants different things:

Career, stable relationship, a family.

That's how they get.

I want things to go back

to the way they used to be.

When we were at Syracuse,

and Vanessa worshiped you.

- That was nice.

- Nobody hassled you to get a job.

Tommy and Phil showered separately.

Those were the days.

- What're you doing?

- lf I make this...

...Vanessa will realize

she likes me the way I am.

You're going to the putt.

Remember, the roof breaks

to the right.

Yes! That's what I'm talk...

Good God!

That can't be good.

Where's Kevin?

He already left. I guess

he forgot to say goodbye to you.

- Why are you here?

- I'm cleaning because you're useless.

Then what, you gonna go to

your Hooters reunion?

You guys talk about whose ass

hangs out of their shorts the most?

At least I can fit my ass

in my shorts, fatty.

Speaking of fatty, whose is this?

- I don't know.

- I'm eating it then.

"We wasted the good surprise on you."

Lady gave me $5 to bring him here.

- What do you mean?

- Later.

Are you selling raffle tickets?

Oh, boy.

- Kevin Gerrity.

- I got something to tell you

What's up?

There's a kid here.

What kind of kid?

If this note is true, it's your kid.

What do you mean?

I'm having a tough time

reading this...

...but it says, "Dear Kevin:

This is Julian, your son.

I hope you understand why

I didn't tell you until now...

but he needs your help

I can't be his mother anymore"

- This is ridiculous.

- Hang on

Who's this?

This is my friend.

- Is that Kevin on the phone?

- No, it's my Uncle Remus.

What's your name?

Is he all right?

He doesn't like you.

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