Big Game Page #2

of the United States.

Prove it.

Stay.

Are you hurt?

No.

I am lost.

And I could use your help.

Do you have a phone?

No, no, no, no, a real phone.

Or is your house close by,

a town, small village?

Where did you come from?

I mean, there must be something.

I mean, did you just pop up

out of the ground?

Vice President,

we have located

the rescue pod tracker.

Sir, the situation

is under control.

This is Genik 1 to Command.

We have confirmed signal from

the President's escape pod.

We are closing in on it now.

ETA, one minute.

Copy that, Genik 1,

secure the President.

Shh.

This is Genik 1,

the pod is not here.

- What?

- Repeat that, Genik 1.

We did not copy, over.

Uh, the homing beacon and the escape

pod must have separated, sir.

I say again,

the President is not here.

God in heaven!

Genik 1, return to base,

await further instructions.

Over and out.

Roger that, Genik 1 out.

I apologize, sir.

You're telling me

we lost our President

like you lose a set of car keys.

This is the most powerful nation

in the history of the planet.

Look at me!

This is America,

and as Vice President

of this great nation,

I am commanding you

to sort this sh*t out!

Interestingly, my department

has registered

precisely no chatter

about an action of this sort.

Which leaves us with

the trickiest possibility.

The lone wolf, the jackal,

who got his own agenda,

affiliated to

no particular cause.

Extremely hard to track,

impossible to predict.

And finally we have

the central question...

What do they actually want?

What is the purpose of their...

...operation?

Well, that we do know.

Their intention was

to assassinate

the President

of the United States.

I'm not sure.

What, there might be another intention

behind blowing up his plane?

Big game hunting

never got any bigger.

Based on our knowledge

at this moment in time,

the President

is not assassinated.

We do know that the evac was triggered.

Maybe that's what they wanted.

To capture him,

to take him alive.

God damn it, so they can show off

their trophy and make demands.

- Kazim.

- Ready.

- Where is he?

- Help is on the way...

You're lucky.

Gotta be honest with you,

young man,

I'm not feeling

so lucky right now.

But you are.

If I hadn't found you,

you'd have zero chance

of survival.

I'm a hunter.

This is my home.

With this,

I can catch us food,

and keep us safe.

Safe from what?

- Bears.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

There's bears out here?

Yeah.

And you could kill one

with that thing?

Yeah.

Have you done it before?

Yes.

- Really?

- No, but my dad has.

And I could do it too.

All right.

Your dad sounds like

a great man.

The best hunter there is.

Like me.

Right.

And your father's name is?

Tapio.

Tapio. And you are?

- Oskari.

- Oskari.

Well, like I said before, my name's

William, but you can call me Bill.

Nah, I call you President,

sounds better.

And you, you can call me Ranger.

Right.

Here.

This is great.

This is great.

All right, tell me how to get

to the nearest town.

No.

Young man,

I am the President of the United States.

And I'm here on a mission.

What could be greater

than a national emergency?

My birthday.

Your birthday?

This is now the property

of the United States of America.

You got that?

So, tell me how to turn this thing on.

Get off.

So what do you wanna do?

This is a big forest.

You will get lost.

My forest,

my rules.

Sit in the back.

Welcome to Finland...

President.

Someone helped him.

Someone with a small shoe size.

Small shoe size?

What is that supposed to mean?

Well, usually it means

small feet.

You listen very carefully to me,

you over privileged psychopath.

I have a bullet splinter lodged

two millimeters from my heart.

One day it will push forward

and kill me.

And I will have

sacrificed my life

to protect a man

who can barely do a push-up,

let alone run a country.

Do not forget

why we are here, Hazar.

Before I draw my last breath,

I will deliver you

the President.

You will wire the money

as planned.

We will all stay on task.

Or I will damn well end it here.

So, how much time do we have before the

Americans figure out their mistakes?

We have a good head start.

They won't be on us before dawn.

Whoever the terrorist team is,

based on historical precedent,

they're unlikely to be Finnish.

So we have foreigners,

outsiders,

needing to access

the inaccessible.

- Get online. Type in "Explore Northern Finland".

- Sir.

Okay. I got a few companies

organizing trips,

helicopters,

four-wheel drive...

- Looks like it's mainly aimed at hunting.

- Hunting!

So you will carry rifles and

equipment and not raise any alarms.

- This is good.

- Make a list.

Get the details,

start contacting them.

You're looking for the one that just

flew in a group of big game tourists.

One more thing.

We need live stream satellite

coverage of this area.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir,

but we don't have that.

You have high-res surveillance of

Russia or United Kingdom, right?

- We do.

- Well, let's get those satellites

pointed in the right direction!

This is it.

This is what?

A secret between me and my dad.

A secret?

A perfect place to hunt.

We camp here.

What is it like to be powerful?

Well...

Right now, I'd have to say,

power

is ephemeral.

And what that means?

Well, that means

that a few hours ago,

I could order the greatest

armed force on the planet

to invade any country

in the world.

And now,

I can't even order a pizza.

And believe me...

...I could really use a pizza.

Why are you asking about power?

My dad is powerful.

In fact,

my family is very famous here.

Maybe you know my dad.

What did you say his name was?

Tapio.

Tapio.

Well, I'm sorry.

Never heard of him.

You don't know

much about hunting.

I don't know a damn thing

about hunting.

Look.

Is this the bear

you were talking about?

Yeah.

King of the forest.

We all do this when we turn 13.

We are sent into the forest

to kill something.

That shows the world

what we are as a man.

And now it's your turn.

Yep.

Tomorrow, I will be a man.

Oh, you look like him.

- Really?

- Yeah. You guys could be twins.

When I go back,

no one will laugh at me.

You have to be tough in Finland.

Well...

You know,

there is an alternative.

Sometimes

you don't have to be tough.

You just have to look tough.

Now, that is something I do

know a hell of a lot about.

Let me tell you a story.

Right before I was gonna give my

last State of the Union address,

all of a sudden I had to pee.

So, I dashed off to the toilet

to handle my business.

And in my haste

to get back in time,

I sort of prematurely

put myself away

and the last bit squirted out

on the front of my trousers.

Yeah, yeah, it's funny.

But, mind you,

I'm about to go out

and give a speech

with the eyes of the American

public and the world on me.

And I got a big piss stain

on the front of my pants.

Look it up on YouTube sometimes.

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