Big Movie Premiere: The Proposal Page #6

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with him about his future.

Well, yeah. That`s a good idea.

That`s a good idea, Joe,

because he will never

come back home now.

He is my son. I only get to see him

every three years because of you.

Because of you.

I`ve had enough.

You are gonna be supportive of him

marrying Margaret, and that is that.

You know, if we`re not careful,

we are gonna end up

in this great big house,

just you and me alone,

you and me and everything

that we`re angry about, and God forbid

that they should have a grandchild

that we never get to see.

You are going to fix this,

Joe. I mean it. Fix it now.

Where`s a towel?

Towel.

Towel, towel, towel, towel, towel.

This is all they have for a towel?

It`s ridiculous. I can`t get dry.

Hello.

Hello?

No, no, no, no, no.

Just... I`m sorry.

Let me just...

Iet me just get a towel.

Let me just get a towel.

Just... Iook.

You need to just... I`m sorry.

OK, l`m sorry for feeding you

to the eagle.

I`m sorry.

Go away. Go away.

Go, go. Just let me get a towel.

Go, go, go... Hold on.

Yeah. Huh?

How you like that? Huh?

Take it, take it. That`s right.

That`s what l`m talking about.

You like that?

You like it.

Come here. Come to Mama.

That`s right.

Get on the carpet.

That`s a good boy.

Yes! That`s good, boy!

Come on.

Come on!

What the...?

- Oh! Why are you naked?

- Oh, my God!

- Why are you wet?

- Oh, my God.

- Don`t look at me.

- I don`t understand.

- Why are you wet?

- Why are you naked? Don`t look at me.

Oh, God! You`re showing everything.

Cover it up, for the love of God!

Oh, God, not the Baby Maker.

Explain yourself please.

- Explain myself?

- Yes, explain yourself.

- I was outside.

- Really? You didn`t hear me?

I was listening...

What are you doing home?

Then you just,

jump me out of nowhere?

- What`s that?

- I didn`t mean to jump you.

Your dog was attacking me, and l

had to run, and I ran into you.

What is it with you and this dog?

Just, you know, just... go.

- Go...

- Fine.

- Go take a shower. You stink.

- Fine.

- Nice tattoo, by the way.

- What?

See? See? Exactly.

You see that?

Barely made it out with my life there.

See the size of the teeth on that thing?

I didn`t...

So...

So naked.

Can we not talk about that, please?

Just sayin`.

So, what`s the deal with you

and your father?

I`m sorry. That question

is not in the binder.

Oh, really? Well, I thought

you were the one that said

- we needed to learn all this...

- Not about that, I didn`t.

- But if the guy asks...

- Not about that, Margaret.

Good night.

- I like the Psychic Network.

- What?

Not in the ``ha-ha, isn`t that funny,

she likes that trash``

kind of way.

I actually quite enjoy it.

I took disco lessons in the sixth grade.

My first concert was

Rob Base & D.J. E-Z Rock.

I think Brian Dennehy is sexy.

Don`t like flowers in the house,

`cause they remind me of funerals.

Never played a video game.

I read Wuthering Heights

every Christmas.

It`s my favourite book.

Haven`t slept with a man in over

a year and a half.

And...

I went to the bathroom and cried

after Bob called me a poisonous b*tch.

And the bird tattoo?

They`re swallows.

Got them when I was 1 6...

after my parents died.

Stupid.

I`m sure there`s many,

many other things,

but that`s all I can

come up with right now.

You there?

I`m here.

Just processing.

You really haven`t slept

with anyone in 1 8 months?

Oh, my God. Out of all that,

that`s all you got?

That`s a long time.

Yeah, well, l`ve been a little busy.

Yeah...

Who`s...

- Rob Base and D.J...

- E-Z Rock?

- Yeah.

- You know.

No. They were good.

- What?

- Nothing.

I know who they are.

I just wanted to hear you sing it.

- Margaret?

- Yes?

Don`t take this the wrong way.

OK.

You are a very,

very beautiful woman.

Feel it deep, feel it low.

God, I can`t sing that high.

Huh? Where am l?

What time is it?

What time is it?

Oh, God.

Room service.

Breakfast for the happy couple.

Andrew! Andrew!

Andrew!

Andrew!

Andrew, your mother`s at the door.

Get up!

- Get up here! Just a second!

- Oh, God.

- Not the baby blanket.

- OK, all right.

Not the baby blanket.

Get it off, get it off, get it off.

- OK, all right.

- Wait a second. Hold on.

- What? What?

- Are you wearing makeup?

What? No.

Of course not.

- OK, what do we do? All right.

- Just spoon me, spoon me...

- Oh, my God! What is that?

- l`m sorry. It`s morning.

What do you mean,

``lt`s morning?``

Are you OK?

Coming. One second. Yep.

Come on in. Everything`s fine.

Disgusting.

You`re on my hair.

OK, just...

- Oh, wow.

- Smells good.

Cinnamon rolls.

Oh, you shouldn`t have

gone to that trouble.

Oh, you`re family now.

It`s no trouble.

Hey, you have room for one more?

Wow. Could we not do

the Brady family meeting right now?

- We just got up if you don`t mind.

- Yeah.

Your mother and I have

come up with a proposition

and I happen to think

it`s a terrific idea...

We want you to get married

here tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

- What? What? What?

- No.

Well, you`re gonna get married anyway,

so why don`t you get married here

where we can be all together, and that

way Grandma Annie can be a part of it.

- Oh. Oh, we`re... No.

- No.

- No, it`s Gammy`s birthday tomorrow.

- Big day for her.

We don`t want to ruin it.

That`s, you know...

I`ve had 89 birthday parties,

I don`t need another one.

Oh, Gammy.

It would be a dream come true for me

to see my one grandchild`s wedding.

A dream come true!

So you`ll do it?

Before l`m dead?

- OK. OK.

- OK.

OK, we will do everything.

And you can get married

like we did, in the barn.

It`s a Paxton family tradition.

- Oh, wow!

- Yup.

Wow! I`ve always wanted

to get married in a... in a barn.

- I have.

- lt`s a sign.

A sign from the universe that

you`re meant to be together.

We must give thanks, I tell you.

Come, come.

We must give thanks.

OK, I know I should

leave you alone now.

But we`re just so excited!

I know you`re excited, too.

- lt`s the craziest.

- Really excited.

Yeah! Go. Go.

Go.

Oh, my God.

When my mom finds out that

this whole thing is a sham

she`s gonna... she`s gonna be crushed,

and my grandmother`s gonna die.

- Your mom`s not gonna find out.

- My father. What`s with that?

The wedding thing?

Where`d that come from?

She probably got him worked up into it.

It`s fine. She`s not gonna find out.

- They`re not going to find out.

- God. Margaret!

Andrew, they`re not gonna

find out, OK? Just relax.

It`s gonna be OK.

It`s not like we`re

gonna be married forever.

We`ll be happily divorced

before you know it.

It will be fine. It will be fine.

- You OK?

- Yeah.

- Get us some coffee.

- Yeah.

So, would you like a cinnamon soy latte?

You`re right, you know...

Get a quickie divorce, we`ll be fine.

- Absolutely.

- Gonna be fine.

Everything is going to be great.

But this little missus

better learn how to cook,

so she can take care of her husband.

Keep my man happy.

I don`t want him leaving me

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