Big Trouble In Little China

What I'd like to do today is

get your version of what happened.

- You mean the truth?

- Of course.

First, just state your name and

your occupation for the record.

Egg Shen, bus driver.

Bus driver.

What kind of bus and where, please?

Tour bus. Bus for tourists.

San Francisco Chinatown.

Thank you.

Now, before we get to the meat of this thing,

do you at the present time

have any knowledge

of the whereabouts of

a Mr Jack Burton or his truck?

- Oh, God. Will you leave him alone?

- Mr Shen, please.

You could be in a great deal of trouble. Half

a city block explodes in a ball of green flame.

Green flame! All hell is breaking loose here.

And there are people

who say you're involved,

that you might be responsible,

that you're a very dangerous man.

- Now, if you're protecting Jack Burton...

- You leave Jack Burton alone!

We are in his debt. He showed great courage.

OK.

But if I'm gonna be your attorney,

there are a few things I have to know

that still don't make any sense to me.

Like...

do you really believe in magic?

You mean Chinese black magic?

- Yes.

- Absolutely.

Are you still serious about this? And

monsters and ghosts as well, I suppose?

Sure. And sorcery.

And I suppose that you expect me

to believe in sorcery as well?

- Of course.

- Why?

Because it's real.

How can I know that, Mr Shen?

- How?

- Yes, how? Help me out here.

Please.

See? That was nothing.

But that's how it always begins.

Very small.

This is Jack Burton at the Pork-Chop Express

and I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin'.

It's like I told my last wife.

I says "Honey,

I never drive faster than I can see."

"Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."

You just listen to the Pork-Chop Express and

take his advice on a dark and stormy night.

When some wild-eyed maniac

grabs your neck,

taps the back of your head

up against a barroom wall,

he looks you crooked in the eye

and asks you if you've paid your dues,

you just stare that big sucker back in the eye

and remember what Jack Burton always says.

"Have you paid your dues, Jack?"

"Yes, sir, the cheque is in the mail."

Well, you see, I'm not sayin' that I've been

everywhere and I've done everything.

But I do know it's a pretty

amazing planet we live on here,

and a man would have to be some kinda fool

to think we're all alone in this universe.

I can't believe you're stuck on even.

This is odd!

All right, even! Another even! Come on!

You want one more? All right!

- What do we got? He can't count.

- Even!

Learn how to play some fan-tan here,

buddy-boy!

Three!

Heaven and earth, boys. What can I tell ya?

You like that one?

What did he say, Wang? In English?

Something about beginner's luck.

It doesn't translate. But he quits.

He quits? What is this? It's a brand-new day

and he's still got 100 bucks in his pocket.

I'm not gonna complain, because I'll bet

I'd have lost my shirt in the next 20 minutes.

Breaks my heart to do this,

but the next time I'm down here,

you'll gang up on Jack so fast

he won't know what the hell happened.

- No.

- Ah, sure. Easy come, easy go, Wang.

No!

Not next time. Now.

Is this gonna get ugly now? I hope not.

I thought what we were here,

racial differences aside,

was a coupla old friends,

both of us Californians.

Sh*t, Wang. It's only a game.

Nothin' or double.

This knife cuts this bottle in half.

- Nothin' or double.

- Bullshit.

- Nothin' or double.

- Why, man? Don't be stupid.

- I need the money.

- I got near a thousand bucks here, Wang.

OK. But not that bottle.

This bottle.

OK.

You're outta your mind, Wang. God bless ya!

- It's all in the reflexes.

- It always works at home.

Have me over for dinner some year and prove

it. In the meantime, pay up: $1,148 times two.

- I don't have that kind of money.

- I didn't hear that.

- I'm just a poor Chinese boy, you know?

- You own a restaurant. That's more than me.

Yeah, right. What I meant was,

I don't got that kind of money on me.

That's what I thought you meant.

Where's your truck?

- I gotta go somewhere.

- No, you don't.

I do. How about we meet in my restaurant

in a few hours? I pay then.

- You pay now. Where you gotta go?

- The airport.

- Yeah, right. Over my dead body.

- If need be.

- I'll follow you.

- You don't trust me? That makes me sad.

- It reminds me of an old Chinese joke.

- Save it. I'll give you a lift. Get in.

- You were gonna follow me, Jack.

- I know, then I came to my senses.

- So who are we pickin' up?

- A girl. I don't wanna talk about it.

- A girl? Where from?

- Peking.

This is a big day in my life. I should

have gone home and gotten 40 winks.

A girl from China? All right, I never done that.

I picked up girls from everywhere else,

but never from China. Is she pretty?

- I'm gonna marry her, Jack.

- Oh, God!

I've known her since we were kids.

I haven't seen her in five years.

I came here alone.

I worked my fingers till they bled.

Before you knew me, I slept on the floor.

I saved every nickel to bring her here

because I love her so much.

I can't eat, sleep or think properly without her

any more. She'll put my whole life in order.

Boy, listen to me. Real tough guy.

You sound a little nervous, pal.

That's why the bottle didn't slice. My mind

and my spirit are goin' north and south.

Flight number 26 has just arrived

at gate number seven.

Whoa. Who is that?

She has green eyes.

You know how rare that is, Jack?

- How can you tell from here?

- Not her. She's trouble. Miao Yin.

Beautiful green eyes, like creamy jade.

Trouble, huh?

- Can I ask you a serious question?

- Absolutely not.

- Would you consider jumping right into...

- Sure, but not with a man in your condition.

- What's wrong with my condition?

- Try standing downwind where I am.

- It's Miller time.

- You know what I say when it's Miller time?

Wait a minute!

- Don't!

- Don't what?

The Lords of Death. Street gang. Punks

from Chinatown. What are they doing here?

Tara!

Miao Yin!

Excuse me.

Let's you and me have a little talk, friend.

What?

Where'd you get that?

Wait a minute, pal.

Get that one!

Come on, Jack!

Where?

Call the cops!

Son of a b*tch must pay!

What's goin' on, Wang?

Why'd they steal your girl?

You tell me! How come it's not safe to walk

in Central Park or to give a stranger a lift?

- Because the world's full of crazy people.

- The American girl knew something was up.

Stay away from her. She's a lawyer.

She's a what? Oh, come on!

- What the hell...?

- They got a clubhouse where they hang out.

- To sharpen their knives?

- I can't ask you to...

- Where is it?

- Thank you, Jack.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

I am Mr Egg Shen, with this wonderful tour.

Sit back and enjoy yourselves, see?

Long time ago, Chinese men with

gold-rush fever flooded into California.

We call Gum Shan - Mountain of Gold, see?

Leaving behind their wives and children.

Working for years to complete

the transcontinental railroad,

saving all their pennies.

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