Bigfoot Horror Camp Page #3

we'd have to get to the furthest

outpost of civilization.

(gentle music)

When we ran out of road,

we saw the remnants

of the old pioneers

giving way to the

machinery of the new.

Thousands were now pouring

back up to the new gold rush.

(birds tweeting)

There's something moving.

Oh, it's a python.

Don't kill it.

(smooth synth music)

(funky exotic music)

(screaming)

(dramatic music)

Please let me go.

(upbeat dance music)

Are you alright?

I think so.

He grabbed me by the pool.

What does he want?

He wants us to do

a pole dance for him.

Keep dreaming, buddy.

You're forgetting,

we are tied up to a pole here.

Well, I don't see

dollar bills anywhere.

Dollar bills?

I was thinking for twenties.

When you get right

down to it, though,

it's actually kind of fun.

- Really?

- Yeah, watch.

(rhythmic exotic music)

Ah, excellent.

One of our visitors.

The sacred monkey, no less,

captured by one of her sons.

(woman screaming)

Come out.

Look, they're gonna obey you.

Now they only take

orders from me.

You see?

You'll find out, they won't

listen to you anymore.

Soon you, too, will

obey when I command.

(siren buzzing)

Malek.

First, I see you

got away from Turk.

Listen Burt, you'll have to do

what I tell you to do for once.

I've been hunting the

sacred monkey for a year,

and I don't intend

to lose her now.

When I want something,

I take it and I keep it forever.

(gunshot)

Not this time, Albert.

This time you've

finally lost the game.

You're really punctual, Burt.

You're never late

for an appointment.

You arrive within

the 10 minutes.

Fast work, Burt.

But I haven't lost the game yet,

as you'll soon find out.

- Look out, Burt.

- What do you mean?

The animatronic brain.

Shoot the light on the panel!

Malek, hold him!

Burt, shoot the light.

(gunshots)

(dissonant squealing)

(rhythmic exotic music)

(Bigfoot growling)

What was that?

(upbeat country music)

(Bigfoot growling)

Stay back.

No, come untie us.

What's going on here?

I don't know.

All I know is every

time I hear music

and chicks do pole

dances for me,

I feel very human.

Oh really?

What's your name?

Jonah Trout.

Not from the Trout family?

That's right.

I heard you were dead.

Well, it's been so

long since I got laid,

I may as well be.

Sounds to me as if that

curse has been lifted.

You know, I

think you're right.

[Narrator] Then, a

movement in the woods.

The sun hadn't come up yet.

It was hard to make out

what I'd seen at first.

(mysterious dissonant music)

(leaves crunching)

There he was, Bigfoot,

standing no more than

100 yards from my blind.

I began to shake all over.

I could barely keep

hold of my camera.

He was awesome.

(mysterious music)

Then, behind me, another one,

smaller, possibly younger.

How many of them were there?

Was I surrounded?

They were the most extraordinary

creatures I'd ever seen.

I now knew why the

Eskimos called Bigfoot

the king of the animals.

The older, larger one

was seven feet tall,

450 to 500 pounds,

his domed head and

long, dark hair

just like the other

creatures I'd seen.

His odor was overwhelming,

the same thick, musky scent

that first led me to

Bigfoot so long ago.

The young one was no more than

five-and-a-half feet tall,

250 pounds.

If my guess was right,

probably on its first trip

away from its northern

breeding grounds.

He'd probably never

seen a man before.

If he saw me, he could

panic and attack.

Here I was again with Bigfoot,

unchallengeable proof

my theory had worked.

It is a migratory animal,

and I now have the documentations

of its habits I needed.

Now we can begin to

understand the place

this creature holds in nature.

(dramatic orchestral music)

I once again said goodbye

to this mysterious creature

that has somehow outlived

its natural role,

endured the tests of time,

now left to wander

the land elusively,

with a strange will to survive.

(rhythmic synth music)

Oh, I still have

plenty of questions,

and I'll continue my

search for the answers now.

But I assure you,

I'll no longer get so caught up

in the problems of my research

that I'll lose touch with

the wonders it reveals.

Is that you my

prince charming?

You expecting someone else?

(laughing)

Oh no, never.

You look amazing baby.

But can I make one suggestion?

Sure.

(laughing)

I had a feeling that

would be your suggestion.

Can you guess my next one?

Can you guess mine?

(mysterious electronic music)

Check our coordinates

to base Orion.

Compare figures with

signal direction.

[Man] Angle alpha

37, angle alpha 12,

velocity 600 miles per second.

[Woman] Signal's

in direction course,

power signal's constant.

[Woman] Exact coordinate

signal, exact direction,

course confirmed.

(mysterious electronic music)

(electronic beeping)

This is Galactic Explorer 69.

My landing was successful.

Very well 69.

For the sake of the Earthlings

I will call you Serena

while you're on their planet.

As you wish oh

supreme mistress.

May I now learn the

reason of my travels?

Very well, you must preceded

to the nearest populace.

Once there you

have 24 Earth hours

to engage in their sex secrets.

The knowledge that you bring

back to Deltron is imperative.

Without it our civilization

will not survive

another light year.

I do not understand.

Don't stop for the

next 24 Earth hours.

Oh I like that.

This is Serena signing off.

(mysterious electronic music)

(cheering)

(electronic music)

Who are you?

I'm Serena, I come in peace.

Is this some kind of joke?

What is a joke?

It's nothing.

I'm Mark and this

is my friend Cindy.

Your friend?

Nice outfit by the way.

Thank you.

That was a joke.

Another joke?

Do you Earthlings do this a lot?

Yes we do Serena.

So where do you come from?

I come from Deltron, third

planet in the first galaxy.

It is outside your solar system.

(laughing)

Of course it is.

So like what are

you doing here?

I've come to learn

from you Earthlings.

Okay that's it this chick's

crazy I'm calling 911.

Is that another joke?

Hold on let's just play

along it's gonna be fun.

So Serena do you have

any special powers or?

Special powers?

Yeah like can you

make yourself disappear?

Hmm, I cannot do

that, but I can do this.

- Whoa.

- Whoa.

- That's unbelievable.

- That's amazing.

May I begin learning now?

I don't know may she?

Why the hell not? Sure.

Really?

Yeah.

It's a woman's prerogative

to change minds.

That's why I love you babe.

(dance music)

(spaceship droning)

Oh this is an emergency

I must take this.

Oh.

(electronic beeping)

Serena sorry to

keep you waiting,

but my servants were

misbehaving again

and I had to teach

them a lesson.

Oh you're the best teacher

I know supreme mistress.

Too bad it doesn't

result in procreation.

Oh you're so kind.

I just called to report back.

I've engaged the Earthlings

in sexual intercourse

and it seems to be

quite gratifying.

In fact it's extremely exciting.

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