Bill Cosby: Far from Finished Page #7

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such filth in all your life?"

I said :
"No, I haven't,

your honor

My wife said :

"Go to your bathroom,

"pick up

the bathroom scale... yours.

"It's on the floor.

"With two hands.

"Bring it in here.

Set it down face up."

Daughter came back with it.

My wife said :
"Now,

bring that sock over here.

"Put it on the scale.

How much does it weigh?"

"The needle hardly moved."

"Then why can't you

pick it up?"

Then the daughter said :

"I didn't ask to be born!"

And I just got so mad.

I thought

of three things to say,

but none of them would

allow me entry into heaven.

And my wife, in...

Time,

said something

that made me jealous

of her intelligence

and quickness,

'cause the daughter said :

"I didn't ask to be born!"

And my wife said :

"And you're not

what we asked for."

getting to here

getting to here

sitting in a robe

quiet

she stalked her head in

she said :

isn't it hot in here ?

and before I could respond ,

she turned the thermostat !

and then left .

so I sat

and after a while I started to get cold

and I... I

I started thinking to myself

you know

I'm a Man ...

get up

you know , change the thermostat .... but

but ... I ...I wasn't afraid

I don't know what it was ,

but I didn't want to the thing

I was doing this routine one night

and a woman yelled at me

: why didn't you get a sweater ?

so then I began to just think ...

I'm a man ...

I'm a husband

I'm ... I'm cold

get up

change that thermostat

change it

you're a man ...

you have to sit here freezing

so I did

I got up

I went over , and I turned the thermostat

came and sat down

felt much better

cause I'm a Man ...

that's what's important

get up , change it

then started to get warm

then she came back

stalk her head and...

and she said :
.. augh..

the children heard her

because I heard them say : dive ... dive !

she looked at me and she said :

Did you....

... change the thermostat ?

and I just stared at her

because I wasn't afraid

and she said :
I'm talking .....

.... to you !

and knowing that I'm a man

and what the strength of being a man

I said to her without fear :

I:

have not left this chair

cause I'm a man ...

but they know that they own us

... oh yes

I was asleep

having a nightmare

a snake was crawling...

on my left heel

and it's gonna bite me

I'm gonna die

and the nightmare I was afraid and I

wanted to reach down

grab it and kill it

but my arms are paralyzed

and I couldn't move

and my subconscious I guess said :

wake up , and you'd be able to move

and I did

and I woke and I saw my wife

she's holding my left heel

and then in her right hand ...

is a dead-skin scraper !

she kept yelling

Hold still ...

... I'm sick of this ...

... cutting my legs to shred

another time I was asleep

not a nightmare

just sleeping

and all of a sudden

I feel a shark pain

in my right nostril

I open my eyes and there is my wife

with face right there

she's holding six hairs

why can't you see these ?

I am sick of looking at these things ...

hanging out of your nose

why can't you see these ?

you breath out and they go out like this

Thank you,

ladies and gentlemen.

Now , you know why

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