Billy Elliot the Musical Live Page #3

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Please your Bessie! Debbie, bring me stuff.

So what do you reckon?

You look like a right d*ckhead to me.

Grandma! What are you doing?

I know it's here somewhere.

You've hidden it.

Grandma. That's me private stuff!

- What's that?

- Nothing.

It's private. Mum left it for me.

Where's she gone?

She's dead, Grandma.

You were at the funeral.

Was I?

'Course you were.

She was buried next to Granddad.

Not him and all.

Christ, Billy, they're dropping like flies.

For Christ's sake.

- I've got you a pasty.

- Really?

From the Co-op.

Just don't tell Dad I was late or anything.

Go on, then.

Oh, come off it. Do you really

not remember about Granddad?

Of course I do.

How could I forget your Granddad, Billy?

We were married 33 years.

So what was he like, like?

He was

a complete

bastard.

I hated the sod

For 33 years

We should never have married

Of that I'm quite clear

He spent the housekeeping money

On whisky and beer

And never lifted a finger

Times were hard

But the swine rolled back pissed

So we'd fight and he'd swing

And he rarely missed

So I clobbered the sod

When he couldn't resist

Asleep, you can't lift a finger

But we'd go dancing

And he'd hold me tight

He was air, he was water

He was breath, he was light

And he would hold me there

with all his might

And it was bliss for an hour or so

But then they called time to go

And in the morning

We were sober

Oh! He'd drink and he'd talk

Just like a fool

Lie like a bairn and snore like a mule

Rarely was sober, pretty much was the rule

And he never lifted a finger

I suppose times were hard

Things were different then

Women were women

and men, they were men

Seventeen, that was it, your life ended

When you had a ring around your finger

But we'd go dancing

He was my own Brando

And for a moment there

My heart was aglow

We had dust in our hair and nowhere to go

But we were free for an hour or three

From the people we had to be

And in the morning

We were sober

But if I went through my time again

Oh, I'd do it without the help of men

Or at least your Granddad

But then again, you know

Best not to linger

What is the use of dreaming now?

I had my chance, well, anyhow

If I'd only known then

what I know now

I'd have given them all the finger

And gone dancing

And not give a sh*t

Spin around and reel

and love every bit

And I'd dance alone and enjoy it

And I'd be me for an entire life

Instead of somebody's wife

And I never

Would be sober

And I never

Would be sober

What are yous doing here?

Keeping the peace.

What for, like? There's nothing going on.

Well, we're doing a good

job then, aren't we?

Now sod off.

- So are you going to go back then?

- What, to ballet?

- Plenty of lads do ballet.

- Aye, puffs.

- Not necessarily.

- Who, like?

What about Wayne Sleep? He's not a puff.

Anyway, I don't know why you bother going.

You're crap at it.

No, I'm not.

Anyway, I don't have much choice, do I?

Oi, Debbie, get a move on.

How do you put up with her?

Oi! How would you like it

if I slagged off your mum?

- Me mum's dead.

- Oh.

See you then.

Everybody,

positions, please. Girls to the front.

And five, six, seven, eight, turn!

And rocking the baby, stretch.

Pie, Tracey Atkinson.

Debbie, you're late, girl.

And washing those windows,

five, six, seven, eight.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Shoes.

- I haven't got any.

Well, you have now. Put them on.

As two groups.

I can't wear them. I'll

look like a right sissy.

Well, you should have thought about that

before you came in.

- 50p.

- What?

50p.

Again, six, seven, eight.

Arms, Susan Parkes.

- What about last week?

- Rip-off!

Crossing!

Well, you joining in or what?

Debbie, count, girl,

count for Christ's sake.

Oi, Billy Elliot!

And airing the sheets.

And hang them on the other line.

- What am I supposed to do?

- Get down for starters!

- I just gave you 50p.

- Travel back. That's lovely.

- What do I do?

- Follow the others.

And marching forward to socialism, and...

I don't know what I'm doing.

Arms, Sharon Percy.

Miss, I don't know what to do.

Floor-Barre.

What barre?

Pli. Tendu second.

Pli. Tendu close.

Dvelopp devant. Left leg.

Oi, Geordie, wanna see something

you've never seen before?

Right leg.

And that's just off the overtime

Wanna see some more?

Left leg.

You think you're smart, you cockney shite

You wanna be suspicious

Two lines.

When you were on the picket line

We went and f***ed your missus

- All of us at once.

- All of us at once.

Solidarity, solidarity

Solidarity forever

All for one and one for all

Solidarity forever

Solidarity, solidarity

Solidarity forever

All for one and one for all

Solidarity forever

Girls to the centre.

Right, here's the lesson

you've all been gagging for.

Pirouettes, God help us.

Right. I want you all

to find a spot on that wall.

That'll be this wall, Susan Parkes.

And I want you to focus on that spot.

Do not take your eyes off that spot.

Right, then you turn your bodies around

and your head follows,

but your head is the last thing to leave

and the first thing to come back,

understand?

- Yes, miss.

- Yes, miss.

Everybody in the centre.

Thank you, Mr Braithwaite.

And here we go,

and one, two, three, Billy...

...five, six, seven, eight.

And for God's sake, spin 'em,

Mr Braithwaite, spin 'em!

I'm spinning them,

Mrs Wilkinson, I'm spinning them.

Absolutely bloody hopeless, the lot of you.

And you're the worst of the bleeding lot,

Billy Elliot.

Okay, forget it, forget it.

Everybody in the corner.

We'll do some chans.

And five, six, seven, eight. Go, go, go.

Beautiful arms, Susan Parkes.

Lovely, much better, Alison Summers.

Gold star, Keeley Gibson.

Try not to kill yourself, Tracey Atkinson.

Oi, Rudolf Nureyev, over here.

Okay.

Class dismissed.

Keep it up till Christmas, lads

It means a lot to us

We send our kids to private school

on a private bus

We've got a lot to thank you for

Geordie, you're a corker

A nice extension on the house

and a fortnight in Majorca

Solidarity, solidarity

Solidarity forever

Don't worry, lads, we're on your side

Solidarity forever

Solidarity, solidarity

Solidarity forever

We're proud to be working class

Solidarity forever

You're late.

Look, Jackie, I wanted to have a word.

If things are a bit difficult for you,

we could sort something out.

What do you mean?

I mean, if things are a

bit tight with the 50p's.

50p's?

Yes, man, your Billy's not been to boxing

for over four weeks now.

What do you mean

he hasn't been goin' to boxing?

If he hasn't been goin' to boxing,

where the bloody hell has he been going?

Solidarity, solidarity

Solidarity forever

We're proud to be working class

Solidarity forever

- Quiet in my lesson.

- Oi!

Where've you been going

Saturday mornings?

Boxing, where'd you think?

- Dad. Dad, home.

- Boxing?

- Tony's waiting.

- I'll see you later, young 'un.

Okay, girls, forget about

what's going on outside. Just concentrate.

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