Billy Liar Page #8

But we can, Billy. We can.

What's there to stop us?

There are arrangements to make.

No, there's not.

You buy a ticket and get on a train.

That's all you have to do.

- You can't just go.

- Yes, you can. We could go tonight.

There's a midnight train.

It gets in at seven.

- Tonight, Liz?

- Yes, 12:
05 from Central Station.

We'll be in London tomorrow.

Breakfast at Lyons,

Hyde Park in the afternoon,

Piccadilly tomorrow evening.

- Look, what time is it?

- It's just after ten.

I'm going, Billy.

Are you coming with me?

- Yes, Liz, I'm coming.

- Are you sure?

I'm coming with you.

- I'll meet you at the barrier at 12.

- Fine, yeah.

- What about your father and mother?

- They know about it already.

- Billy, you won't let me down?

- No, of course I won't.

Right.

I'll go back and pack my things.

We're going to London!

Father, the men,

they're coming up the drive!

Yeah.

Oh, I see.

Oh, oh, I see.

She's still with her, is she?

Right. Thank you very much.

Good bye.

Well, what time of night

do you call this?

It's only ten.

- Do you want some chips bringing?

- Never mind chips.

- They're down at the infirmary.

- Who?

Your mother and your grandmother.

Your grandmother's

been taken badly again.

- Why? What's up with her?

- What's always up with her?

I've been ringing that bloody

dance hall for the past hour,

trying to get word to you.

Why don't you go

where you say you're going?

Is it serious or something?

Your mother wants you

down at the infirmary.

Go on. Better go

and get yourself a taxi ordered.

Hello. Speedway Taxis?

Could you send a cab

to 23 Ringway Crescent, please?

It's to go to the infirmary.

Oh, good, good. Thank you.

Be about ten minutes.

- You don't go up there.

- I'm just...

- You don't go up there!

- I'm going to get washed.

Well, you can stop mucky.

You don't go up there.

I'm fed up with your meddling ways

and all other things besides.

- Why, What's up?

- What's up?

- What did you do with that letter?

- What letter?

- That letter for 'Housewives' Choice".

- I posted it.

You posted bloody nothing!

I did post it.

That's just the rough copy.

Don't come telling me your lies.

I found this in the wardrobe.

- What about them calendars?

- What calendars?

I'll give you what if you don't stop

saying "what" to me, young man.

You can't keep your hands off nothing.

I got it all from Councillor Duxbury.

What about their petty cash?

You've made me

into a bloody laughing stock!

- And where is that monkey wrench?

- What would I want with it?

Or with 200 calendars!

You're not right in your head!

I'm not right! I'm not right!

I didn't want to work there!

Don't bloody shout at me!

- I'll knock you into next week!

- God give me strength!

He wants to give you some sense.

You're like a bloody Mary-Anne.

You ought to be grateful for the job.

Grateful for this, grateful for that.

That's all I've ever heard!

Grateful you let me go

to the grammar school.

- Since the first day I went there!

- It's a chance we never had.

And don't we bloody well know it?

I even had to be grateful

for winning a scholarship.

What did you say

when I told you I'd won it?

You'd have to pay for the uniform

and I had to be grateful!

And I'm supposed to be grateful

to Shadrack and Duxbury

for letting me sit

at one of their rotten desks!

You'll stop there

till all that money's paid back.

- I'm not. I'm leaving.

- What do you mean, leaving?

- I'm going to London.

- What can you do in London?

- Write scripts.

- Don't talk so bloody wet.

Who's going to run this business

when I'm gone?

You said you didn't want me

in the business!

Only because you were

too bloody idle, that's all.

- Who's going to keep your mother?

- You're not retiring, are you?

- I'll give you a kick up your backside!

- I'm not arguing, Dad. I'm going.

Go, then. I'm finished with you.

And don't take my suitcase with you!

My husband had

a bad accident three years back.

- Did he?

- He's all right now, but at the time...

We looked all over for you, lad.

- Where's my grandma?

- In there.

They've got that black doctor to her.

She can't talk.

We're just waiting.

She was all right

just after you went out.

Then when your father came home,

we were all just watching television

and she slumps forward

in her chair

and she started to slaver,

just like a...

just like a baby.

Will she be all right?

I don't know, lad. I...

I don't know.

Well, you've got yourself

into a fine mess, haven't you?

So it would seem.

I'm only thankful

she knows nothing about it.

Why didn't you post that letter of mine

to 'Housewives' Choice"?

I did post it.

I just wrote it out again, that's all.

- What for?

- There was some mistakes in it.

I thought it would stand a better chance

if it was more grammatical.

We can't all

be Shakespeares, can we?

We're going to sit down tomorrow

and go over everything you've done

and everything you've taken.

Yes, well, I won't be here tomorrow.

- How do you mean?

- I'm going to London.

I'd have been at the station already

if it hadn't been for Grandma.

If you're in any more trouble, Billy,

it's not something

you can leave behind you, you know.

You put it in your suitcase,

and take it with you.

Look, Mother, I've said I'm going

and I'm definitely going.

Mrs. Fisher,

would you come this way, please?

'Three passengers on a Belfast plane

'were Mr. Goose, Mr. Gander

and the Reverend Mr. Gosling.

'They did not know each other.

'The Lord is my shepherd.

I shall not want.

'He maketh me to lie down

in green pastures. '

- Tea?

- Please.

- Sixpence.

- Oh.

Ta.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Fisher.

We have some formalities.

Would you mind waiting?

Your grandma died

at seven minutes past eleven.

It's hot.

- Do you want to go in and see her?

- No.

I can't drink it.

What time train

are you supposed to be catching?

Er, midnight.

So... I've got to go or...

well, I won't catch it.

- Well, you haven't got any money.

- I've managed to save a few pounds.

- Do you want me to get you a taxi?

- I've got some papers to sign first.

We don't say much, but...

but we need you at home, lad.

Yes, well, I mean, I...

I won't be away for long. I'll...

I'll just get fixed up.

I can come home next weekend.

See, I've got to go

or I'll miss the train.

I'm sorry about my grandma.

Officers and gentlemen

of the Ambrosian Militia,

we are assembled here

at the graveside

to pay our respects to a great lady.

There are many of us

who would not be here today

but for her tender mercies.

Although in her later years

she was limbless from the waist down,

she struggled valiantly

to combat ignorance and disease.

Although she will be

remembered by the world

as the inventor

of penicillin and radium,

we of this proud regiment

remember her as our friend,

the Lady of the Lamp.

Sir? Sir?

- A ticket to London.

- Single or return?

- Single.

- 28/3, please.

Only 15 shillings.

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