Bird Page #5

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Well, that's great.

Until you mess up.

And you always mess up.

You mess up over there,

you'll be in trouble so deep...

...they won't let you play in the

goddamn place they named after you.

Now, am I lying?

There's no law that says

I have to mess up.

And I'm not running away

from my own country.

Your country?

Yeah, mine.

Whether they like it or not,

it's mine.

There'll be a Birdland

in every city one day.

There'll be a Birdland

in Chicago, in Detroit...

...a Birdland across

the street from Camarillo.

I'm the liberator of Paris and

you're a motherfucking afterthought!

Oh, sh*t!

You saying...

...Diz and Duke on one side...

...and junkies on the other.

So I kick.

[LAUGHING]

I can kick!

Junior, Junior.

[SHIP'S HORN BLOWING]

Other than that, we got nothing

until next Friday.

What's next Friday?

Some sort of benefit.

Some Communist in jail or something.

Hey, we get paid.

How much do we get paid?

Just hold out with me.

In a month, we open up Birdland.

What do I eat in the meantime?

Harry James.

Meet Billy.

John Wilson. Rodney.

Red Rodney.

What are you doing

in New York, Red Rodney?

I've been here for a year now.

Why you didn't call me?

I want to hear you play.

I wasn't ready for you to hear me.

He wasn't ready to hear him play.

And now you're ready?

How you been doing, then?

I've been doing mostly society stuff.

That's right. Plenty of goddamn

society for some people.

How come nobody calls me

for no society gigs?

I can play that sh*t.

Well, it's a special type of society.

- For dancing, right?

- Yeah, dancing, but not the fox trot.

You're looking for a gig?

Everybody?

I mean, not you.

Why not me?

I came in here looking for people,

but I never--

Sh*t, why not?

Two o'clock, this afternoon.

In Brooklyn. A wedding.

Fantastic!

Wonderful!

Chudnick!

These are not Jewish boys, but good.

- A very nice affair.

Don't ask.

Don't ask.

So what's this Chudnick?

That's what I'm talking about.

Chudnick. That's my real name.

So where you cats headed?

[IMITATING OLD MAN]

Don't ask. Don't ask!

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

I just want to know...

...you still the most

gorgeous woman alive?

No.

I'm retired.

But I like that you never give up.

I take it he's there?

Is he all right?

He's holding his stomach.

Is that from...?

No, no, that's ulcers.

He'll probably spend the night.

Thanks, Red.

Don't tell him I called you.

I mean, don't tell him you called me.

Don't worry. Get some sleep.

Mm-hm. Good night.

Chud.

The last man to ever get me

a society gig.

That's me.

What are you doing here?

- Let's get a drink.

- Right.

- Did you really eat a rose?

- I ate whatever I could get.

I heard you said it was dessert.

It was.

I don't know why I came back.

Birdland still ain't open.

But I got this beautiful gig.

Calls for a quintet.

I need a trumpet player.

Scotch on the rocks.

Club soda.

How long you been listening?

I know a trumpet player

when I hear one.

There's so many better ones.

There's Navarro, Kinney--

I'm offering the job to you.

We start off with a tour.

Ten nights. $150 per man.

- Per night.

- Really? That's great. Where?

South. We drive.

Fresh air, scenery...

...unsophisticated p*ssy.

You don't get that with Woody Herman.

Georgia, Alabama...

...Mississippi, Tennessee.

Deep South?

With a mixed band?

We get lynched!

I got it covered.

Here we are.

There's Uncle Remus over there.

Bird, what are you doing?

Where the hell are we?

We are in the South now.

Your mama's up there.

We're supposed to be in the South.

- Your mother's over there!

- You know I don't play that.

Ain't it great to be home, fellas?

Thank you, Bird.

Look at this.

I'm opening up a new world to you.

Pull up.

I want to talk to the manager.

Where will they put us up?

Man, you know where they'll put us up.

Some goddamn funky rat hole.

Except you, Red.

You'll probably find yourself

a good hotel in every town.

I don't think so.

Red, you gonna be right down

in the funk with us.

Bird done covered it, all right.

[LAUGHING]

Are you crazy?

Nobody will believe I'm an albino!

I do. Whoever heard of a Jewish cat

playing trumpet the way you do?

Cut the crap! I can't sing.

I got a voice like a dying animal!

Anybody can sing the blues! All you

got to do is sing one blues every set.

Go to sleep now.

That's your room.

What if they find out?

- Who? Your people or my people?

- That's funny.

Go inside. Wake me up in two hours

and don't wander off nowhere, boy.

I gotta keep up

the correct impression, you know?

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, I'd almost forgotten.

Get some rest, n*gger.

These people want to dance.

You folks go upstairs.

You can get a drink up there.

At this time...

...it is my privilege...

...to bring to the microphone

a young man...

...who, in a short space of time,

has become a legend.

Born at the geographical center

of the universe...

... 125th Street and Lenox Avenue.

I saw him at the Apollo

and I had to have him with us.

Not just because

he brings us luck. No!

But because while the Lord didn't

see it fit to give him no pigment...

...he made up for it by endowing him

with the spiritual inheritance...

...of Jefferson and Broonzy.

And now, without further ado,

I bring to you...

...Albino Red!

I play at your wedding,

you play at mine.

This is great. One more chorus.

What happened after that?

No, not Henry! No!

Mr. Rodney?

Follow me.

- When did it start?

- Last night.

But I've had it previously.

I felt a little twinge the other day,

but I didn't think that's what it was.

Give us a sample, if you can.

So you've had hematuria previously.

What's that?

Blood in your urine.

Oh, yeah. My doctor keeps

talking about removing the stones.

I should let him.

- When you going home?

- Day after tomorrow.

I was stupid to leave

my pain pills in New York...

...but it's been a while

since it's flared up.

Well, two days, a dozen Empirin

with codeine ought to do it.

My doctor wrote for Dilaudid.

Dilaudid?

For a kidney stone?

I'm an ethical man.

And, fortunately for you,

I'm a compassionate one.

[KNOCKING]

Mr. Parker, it's Red.

Chud, what are you doing?

Chud.

Oh, God.

No, Chud.

Not you, man.

Why not me?

If you want to play like Bird...

...you gotta shoot sh*t like Bird?

Is that what you thought?

Is that what they told you?

I don't remember.

No!

No!

It don't help, man.

It don't help.

Don't you know that?

I know now.

It's not your fault.

I know a thousand guys who fix.

Yeah.

A thousand, easy.

MAN 1:
I've seen better-looking

heads on a boil.

MAN 2:
What about that thing?

I won't tease you.

You got some of that, didn't you?

Hey, Red.

I sounded better than that.

They loved me. I got bookings.

Never had this much money

coming back from a tour.

- How much money?

- We must have $7500 between us.

- You got more than me.

- What?

Eighty-five. We had a cut

on admissions over 500.

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