Bird Page #6

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And we went over four times.

That's your money, Bird.

- No, I'm splitting it five ways.

MAN 3:
Sh*t!

That's what I'm talking about!

You gonna split that?

Don't go signifying that way.

It's about time

this band got organized.

Thank you.

That's not so hard, is it, John?

Man, it's good to be home.

Don't bother me now, I'm flipped.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it

for the man of the century.

Look, Nica made it.

Don't you know about her?

She's a baroness.

She's got a thing for jazz musicians,

but it isn't sexual.

I should hope not.

Billy here, he's a jazz musician.

Would you f*** him?

You were an absolute gas, as usual.

My name's Nica.

- Delighted.

Hello, Nica.

What do you think about Bird?

I live at the corner of 40th and 3rd.

But originally I'm from Philly.

You been there?

Yes, I have.

Scotch and milk.

I'll catch up with you later.

Sure. I'll see you then.

Yeah, best three weeks we ever had.

Yeah.

You notice anything different

these last three weeks?

You're drinking more

than I've ever seen you.

Yeah, but do you know why?

I can guess.

You're trying to kick.

I'm not trying.

I've been on for 15 years.

Now, if I can kick, then you can kick.

I hear you, and I appreciate

what you're getting at.

Red Rodney, the next Charlie Parker.

It's not your fault.

Nobody blames you.

You expect to see 40?

Bird, I'm in the wrong frame of mind

for questions like that.

Hey. You expect to see 40?

I'm different.

Hi, Red.

Sh*t.

How's the boss?

Better than ever.

That ain't my kind of music.

Roll up your sleeves.

Ow!

You'll find marks there.

That's internal possession.

No such thing in this state.

That you can argue with the magistrate.

In the meantime, I got to do my job.

Let's take him in.

Why do you go

through this every time?

What do you mean?

What are you suggesting?

You got something to suggest?

It was 50 bucks last time.

You were out of work.

Now you're with the king of bebop,

and you just got paid.

What? How do you know

I was just paid?

How many people are in on this,

you son of a b*tch?

I wouldn't expect that of a nice

Jewish boy. That's more your style.

What's he looking at, Bernie?

It's federal.

That means at least a year.

Now, there's several possibilities.

Think about a different horn

for a change.

Maybe a trombone.

There's another possibility.

Like maybe a quintet isn't

the way to go right now.

That was lovely.

Thank you very much.

Smooth as butter and sweet

as a little sister's ass.

You're still the greatest, man.

Been away too long.

Hey, Yard, what about that chick

you used to run with? Chan?

She's the mother

of three lovely children.

We're a sandwich, Daddy.

Are you gonna eat us up?

Bird doesn't eat sweets, my love.

You know...

...if I do another strings album...

...I'm gonna see if I can

get Mario to do the vocal.

- Bird.

- What?

Let's go say hello to Pree.

Is she any better today?

She went to the radio

and turned it on by herself.

She went to the radio?

Did she walk to the radio?

Kim and Baird's tunes were

on the radio. Write one for Pree.

Did she walk to the radio?

If she walked, I would've run

to the studio and shouted it out.

How's she doing on

keeping her food down?

I won't read you a medical report.

I'm reminding you

you have a daughter.

Mrs. Parker, you're being

very salty this evening.

Should I kiss her?

Should you kiss her?

I meant that if I kiss her and

she wakes up before she needs to...

...then that's more trouble for you.

That's all I'm saying.

I know.

No, don't wake her up.

You should kiss me.

We're packing in the magic violins

for a while.

Gonna play me

a couple of weeks in Me-land.

I'll hire Billy McNabb.

I'm sure you'd like to see him.

Testing me.

I gotta go sign contracts.

That's great.

MRS. BERG:

Nobody signs contracts at 7 at night.

I know!

I shouldn't have asked him

to go in there, that's all.

Hey, look who's uptown.

You know where I can

get me some stuff?

Mr. Parker...

...if you ever have the urge

to stick a needle in your arm again...

...take your horn out

into the woods and blow.

Three months suspended sentence.

Your Honor...

...a conviction would mean

the loss of my cabaret card.

The woods would be the only place

I can play, at least in this city.

You have the right to appeal.

Sir, I have a 2-year-old daughter...

...who needs medical attention

several times a week.

Is it possible...

...that you could put me in jail...

...and let me pay

my debt to society...

...and then reinstate

my cabaret card, sir?

That's not the way it works,

Mr. Parker.

- But all I'm--

- Thank you, Your Honor.

Thanks, Bernie.

Cool.

It's cool.

They won't pay for a group.

Just me.

That's all right.

There's some decent cats

in L.A. these days.

Don't go.

Give me a better idea.

Damn it!

All the records you've sold!

I made them, pudding.

Somebody else done sold them.

You could use a vacation from me.

Hold this home together.

We both want to do that, right?

Oh, Bird.

You and your George Brent dialogue.

George Brent, huh?

Mm-hm.

Maybe he'll come

into the club one night.

I got a Gabby Hayes autograph

last trip.

Did he get yours?

Yeah, sure.

He says:

"Yardbird...

...I sure as hell am partial

to them flatted fifths of yours.

Play me that there 'Klactoveedsedstene'

one more time, partner.

I tell you, nobody can improvise...

...a diminished ninth from the tonic

like a full-blooded Negro."

Hey, that's my solo.

He wrote words to that?

Haven't you heard that?

- It's crappy.

- No, I want to hear it.

I want to hear it.

Yeah.

Chudnick could've used that one.

It was a great solo

and I hate the idea.

Come on, let me hear this.

She'd only bring herself down

So long, everybody

The time has come and I must leave

So if I see your smiling face again

Make a promise you'll remember

Like a Christmas day in December

That I told you all

Through thick and thin

On up until the end

Parker's been your friend

Don't hang your head when you see

When you see those six pretty horses

Pullin ' me

Put a $20 silver piece

On my watch chain

Look at the smile on my face

Sing a little song

To let the world know I'm really free

Cry for me

'Cause I'm going to Kansas City

Got any idea...

...how much a $20 silver piece

would weigh?

I didn't hear that. I was thinking

about what a great solo it was...

...and what this man has done to it.

- I think it's terrible.

- Chan.

Don't ever let them

send me back to Kansas City.

Bird, look, you got a gig?

I'm gonna get there. Eventually.

Eventually.

They found me this trio to play with.

They're more scared of me than the

owner and they're sh*t-scared of him.

I'll get to the job, Birks.

I'll get to the job.

I always get to the job.

So I'm late, so what?

So I'll play a couple extra hours.

We'll have a taste...

...and then I'll find me a lady,

then I'll get to the job.

Cheers.

What's the matter?

Ain't it a b*tch?

I go to a liver doctor

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