Birdland Page #3

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- I can't help but think it's

something more than that.

What makes you say that?

The body count.

(whipping)

When did you first have a hunch

she was hiding things from you?

I have to ask this.

Were you guys into any

kinky S and M types stuff?

Because there are

pictures that suggest...

[Sheila] No.

- How do you just

keep it to yourself?

I mean, how does a happily

married man like Tom

succumb to a woman like Merle?

I don't know.

Why do birds sing?

I guess they found

a common cause.

- I know, we are the f***ing

world, I get it, thanks.

- Do you know everything

that's going on

inside of your

wife's head, Calvin?

- I know that if you put

a piece of raw sirloin

in front of my dog,

he can't resist it.

F*** you.

- [Calvin] When were you first

made aware of Merle's death?

- We were at home

when the phone rang.

(phone ringing)

Is everything okay?

What?

He told me an

ex-girlfriend had died.

- [Calvin] I guess by

then Tom was accustomed

to avoiding the truth.

(introspective music)

Listen to this.

Look what I found.

(bird calling)

This is a definitive recording

of an ivory-billed woodpecker

take at close range

in 1935 in Louisiana.

(imitating bird call)

You should record me.

If I died, wouldn't

you go to my funeral?

You're not her.

I don't care about her.

It's like I said, I

don't want the past

tainting our marriage.

Right.

- Is this really why

you're saying it like that?

No, just I

really don't understand

why you wouldn't go.

[Tom] It's embarrassing.

It's embarrassing?

What, what's

embarrassing, I am?

Death is embarrassing.

(introspective music)

You know what these are?

These are tiny bits

of Merle's body

found at one of

the crime scenes.

In this case, the museum.

- Tom always says our

DNA is like a scrapbook

of our history as a species.

We've got everything from avian

flu and ancient sex viruses,

non-human beings, even bug

sh*t, right in our blood stream.

Is that what Tom says?

- Four billion years of

death product in our DNA.

Our mortality is mapped out.

We're programmed to die.

- Welcome to the

human race, hon.

- I think sometime soon

we'll be able to change

our physical makeup

and live a lot longer,

you know, like God does in the

Bible with his hands in clay.

- Well, I sure the

f*** hope you're right

and that one day you get

to come back as a sponge

or some blue f***ing

algae and live to be

a thousand years

old, but right now,

I'm interested in knowing

if we're to scan Tom's DNA,

will we be able to

tell future generations

that he killed someone

in a fit of rage?

I mean, the jury is still

out on Starling's murder but

Tom is implicated in

Merle's death as well.

God.

Oh f***.

- I don't get how you

can still cover for him.

(ring clatters to floor)

Did Tom say anything

when he came home

from dinner that night like

"don't worry your

pretty little head, hon,

"but I stuck my

mistress in a freezer

"with a bunch of

dead f***ing birds."

(Sheila laughs)

Hey.

For f***'s sake, Hood,

come on, we're cops.

How the f*** do you explain

part of Merle's body

ending up in Tom's

fridge at work?

Can you at least explain to me

these f***ing flesh eating bugs?

- They're called

dermestid beetles.

They're useful in cleaning bones

in full skeletons for

scientific preparations.

- Well, that's good for

getting rid of evidence, right?

You went to an archery

range with Hazel.

Not bad for a first try.

- [Calvin] Why do they

call it a bull's eye?

- [Sheila] If you hit a

charging bull in the eye,

the arrow goes right

through the eye socket

and into the brain

without hitting bone.

- You put Merle in

the golden bullseye.

How many points do

you get for that?

- I still think it's obvious

someone had it in for Tom.

- Now you're starting to sound

like a conspiracy theorist.

No, I believe Oswald did it.

- [Calvin] Where were you

the night that Merle died?

- I was at home

watching TV, detective.

- Oh, good, so you

have someone who can

corroborate your alibi.

So, we got this footage

from Starling's camera.

You didn't tell us that

this was the last night

you saw Merle before she died.

- I tracked down images of

Merle's movements that day.

It seemed like just another

fairly ordinary day

in someone's life.

- [PA] Arriving at

Flosdale, Flosdale station.

(loud thump and scream)

- [Calvin] When did Starling

come into the picture?

- I first really noticed

him at Merle's memorial.

(smooth jazz music)

- Aren't you going to

sing Lullaby of Birdland?

[Hazel] You're drunk.

Aw, come on, Hazel.

Sing it for Merle!

Who the hell invited you here?

You're dead.

Roy, get him out of here.

Oh please.

Don't touch me.

Don't touch me!

Stop it.

I see you!

I'll have a whiskey neat.

(slow jazz music)

- You look familiar, have I

seen you somewhere before?

I don't think so.

Keep your voice down.

Why?

You think we're being watched.

- Well, I learned how

to spot a cop in a crowd

when I was very young.

Oh, is that right?

What's the secret?

- The olive stripes

in their pants.

Who's your friend?

- I'm not sure,

we only just met.

Sheila Hood.

My husband knew

your sister Merle.

How did you know Merle?

- Well, I didn't

really know Merle,

but like I said my husband did.

And who's your husband?

Tom Kale.

He used to go out with her.

- Don't worry, he doesn't

know our little secret.

You've have to excuse her.

She's not deal with

Merle's death very well.

So tell me, um,

what would an attractive

woman like you

be doing with a guy with

a name like Tom Kale?

- You know what, I

think I gotta go.

No.

You stay.

Another time.

- [Calvin] As a cop,

why do you get involved

with a known criminal

like Starling?

- I thought he would

lead me to a solution.

Starling did have an unhealthy

preoccupation with Tom.

- Make sure you wear that

kimono when you see Tom.

- Starling hired you,

right, to do what?

Investigate Merle's death.

- Okay, but don't

you find that crazy,

because what Mr. James

had already hired you.

Did Starling know that?

- Starling never really

mentioned Mr. James.

I think

I was trying to see

where all this was going.

I think he just wanted to

use me to f*** with Tom.

How so?

- Maybe he thought that Tom

and Merle shared something

that he and she never did.

Maybe he felt like he

lost control over her.

- I'm sorry, I shouldn't

drop in on you like this.

You were one of the few

people Merle ever trusted.

- Merle never really

trusted anyone.

- So this is what all

the fuss was about.

Yeah.

I'm trying to show that

birds didn't descent directly

from the theropod dinosaurs

but likely the small,

reptilian thecodonts

that roamed the earth

250 million years ago.

Wow, is that like the,

arc,

archaeopteryx?

Archaeopteryx.

- That's all I can remember

from my natural science class.

That's not bad.

- I think my sister's

intentions were good.

My dad as much as he loved Merle

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