Birthday Girl Page #2

Alexei.

Alexei, this is Nadia.

You'll love him.

He's a riot.

Happy Birthday.

How's that, huh?

We can't drink our own piss,

can we, John? Hey?

Hang on.

Um, sorry. Who are you?

Glasses, get some glasses.

Uh, what are you...

what are you doing here?

Sorry, eh,

you've lost me.

Hold on.

He doesn't speak Russian?

- No.

- He can't speak Russian!

You don't speak Russian?

Nothing?

Say, uh,

say these are my friends.

How do you say "friends"

in English?

Friends, friends!

Nadia, Yuri... friends.

He's got a wicked pad.

I wanted to say

you might be coming,

but...

Yes. Nadia. Okay.

She wants to tell you

that, you know,

her English is so sh*t,

no one speak Russian, so it's

very, very hard for her, you know.

The light...

for the cake.

Okay, Nadia...

happy birthday!

Hang on, hang on,

hang on.

I need to know

who you are first.

We are Russian.

Yes, I know.

Good.

A- and?

And what?

Oh, from the beginning.

Okay...

Nadia is my little cousin,

except she's not my little cousin,

but we say "little cousin. "

Is it good?

So you're... you're both

Nadia's cousins?

No, no, no, Alexei

doesn't speak English.

We are actors.

Although he is

actor/musician.

He is very, very good.

I'm not so good.

I just strum along.

He makes me look like

a retard.

He smokes me.

No, I don't mean

he "smokes" me... you know?

What?

You... You say "smoke"

in England?

No.

No, okay. So I can say

"he smokes me," huh?

So I come to England with

other actors to make shows.

And I meet this crazy guy

from Novgorod.

I tell him about you, about

chicken, and birthday cake.

And here we are!

So how... how long

will you be in England?

Oh, plans.

Come on.

Plans are for architects,

politicians, not for us.

Uh, but you must have

a visa or something?

Are you asking me

for my documents?

- No.

- Yes, you are...

Get this.

He's asking me for my passport.

Okay, John, yes.

I've put on a few pounds.

Come on, John.

Don't tease him.

John, please.

Can I have a light?

So... John, you have nothing

to say to your fiance?

Maybe to a wife of 40 years,

I can understand.

But... come on. You speak and I

will translate if you want, okay?

I will help you.

Hello.

- Hello.

- Hello.

Yuri:
"Hello. " She say

"hello" to you, John.

It's good.

Go for it.

Um...

Do you like England?

That's a classic.

Do you like England?

Yes.

Hey, whew!

Thanks God she say "yes"!

Go, go, go, go.

Can't think

of anything.

Tell him

I have a secret to tell.

Okay, now, Nadia...

she has secret to tell.

What?

Okay, she says that

she watched you at airport...

I saw you standing there

by the gate...

She says,

When I was a little girl,

my father had these beautiful,

old glasses for watching the birds.

Binoculars.

Binoculars. Okay.

That he had kept from the war.

I would pretend binoculars

was a camera,

and I would take pictures

of the things I loved.

The day before

I left Russia,

my father gave me

the old binoculars...

And he said that when I was to

see you, I was to stand far away...

And look at you

through the binoculars...

and if you were a bad person,

I could run away.

She say,

She took picture...

In the head.

Took mental picture.

Okay. Take picture.

Closer. Closer.

Okay.

Hey! Is like

Hollywood, eh? Come on.

A 1... 2... 3! 3!

Ahh!

John.

John.

John.

Huh?

John...

John, John, John,

John, John!

John! We can see you.

Come in. Come in.

Alexei:
John.

Johnny!

Some rabbit.

Hangover medicine

for yesterday.

- You want some?

- No. No, thank you.

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

Hey, John! John!

Hey, John!

Look... John!

You've got something

on your face.

Stop that! That hurt!

One... two... three!

I won!

I won!

I won! I won!

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

What are you doing?!

I couldn't breathe!

You bastard!

Don't ever touch me again!

Hey, I told you

to leave her alone.

Can't you just

leave her alone?

Keep out of this.

John:

So... I'm really sorry,

but I'm going to have to

ask you to leave.

Oh, I-I'm sorry, John.

It... It's not you.

Oh, it's my fault.

I should have maybe come alone?

It's okay.

You can stay tonight.

I'm sorry.

I don't know him that much.

Okay. I see you

tomorrow morning, we go.

Good night, Yuri.

Thank you very much, John.

You've been very kind.

- Thank you. Thank you, John.

- John.

Good night, John.

I'm sorry, John.

- What happened?

You're throwing me out?!

Sit down! Sit down!

What's he saying?!

Sit, sit, sit,

sit, sit!

- Alexei! Alexei!

- Leave her alone!

You think

you're better than me?

I beg you.

Now we'll see.

Let's see

if he's got any balls.

Put the f***ing

kettle down!

What?

You with your nice job

and your big house,

and you still have to

pay for a woman.

I don't understand.

You bought her. Let's see

what she's worth to you.

Oh, Jesus!

What are you doing?!

What do you want?!

What do you want?

Bread!

Money!

Bank manager:
Ah, John?

John, this is Robert Moseley,

head of Southeast new business.

Robert, this is

John Buckingham.

- Hello, John.

- Hello.

Thought you could give us

a tour this morning,

sort of be

our Indian guide?

- Right.

- Do you play?

Yes, I do.

That's John...

he's always surprising us with

his hidden talents, isn't he?

I was in a band.

Keyboards.

Sort of like... very loud,

uh, very loud Marillion.

- Oh, yeah. "Script For a Jester's Tear. "

- Yes.

Come on, maestro.

Give us a tune.

I'll give you a tune

later.

Take the ball

and run with it, John.

Right.

Good morning, John.

Hey, give us a tune?

- I'll give you a tune later.

- All right.

This is the, uh...

This is, um...

This is where we're doing

"Trust...

"Trust And Letting Go. "

Moseley:
Yeah. We're not doing

this till the fourth quarter.

The result...

has it been beneficial?

John:
Yes.

It's really weird

at first.

It's sort of, um, exciting and

frightening at the same time.

Wouldn't you say,

John?

Yes.

No, no, we're starting

to see results.

This is Karen

who's, uh, taking it.

- Hi. Robert.

- Hi. Hi.

So, what are you doing

here, exactly?

Karen:
It's called "Trust And

Letting Go. " It's a kind of game...

Excuse me.

Hey, John,

Moseley's here.

Yeah, I'll give you

a tune later.

It's weird, isn't it?

Very good. So if you'd like to

swap places with your partners,

we'll try a bit

of mutuality.

Get into your place...

and brace.

And arms penguin...

and in the back, I want you

to really flex your knees.

Be ready...

Be ready to catch them.

Okay? And... go.

Yuri:
I am so sorry, John.

So sorry.

Come on, you big

orange bastard!

Live!

Tell him he's got

what he wanted

and to let her go.

Thank you, John.

Thank you very much, John.

Guess.

Fifty thousand.

Sixty-four thousand,

eight hundred.

There's over ninety grand

here.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Woo! Woo!

Split it up three ways.

- You owe me 150 pounds.

- What for?

I've been shelling out

for you all week.

What have you bought me?

When we went to

the Hard Rock Cafe...

when we went to see "Cats,"

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