Black Dynamite Page #6

- What are you talking about?

Whoa, hey, hey, man.

Son of a b*tch.

Cream Corn, no!

I should have known it was you

all the time.

I should have asked myself,

"Who's the man so wicked...

...so cruel to serve smack

to the orphanage...

...kill my brother Jimmy, and put out

a drug to shrink black men's d*cks?"

Only one man,

and that's you, Tricky Dick.

So I'm here to deliver you one

presidential ass-whooping.

Black Dynamite.

There is a perfectly...

...reasonable explanation for that.

Showtime, motherf***er.

F***ing...

Black Dynamite.

Who the f*** would duck?

Piece of sh*t.

Don't f*** with me.

Motherf***er.

Take your filthy black hands

off the presidential dinnerware...

...you moon cricket.

And now, Black Dynamite,

you must die.

You had enough, Mr. President?

You'll never get away with this.

Watch me,

you little insecure cracker.

You think

by shrinking our johnsons...

...it's gonna make your situation

any better?

That's your problem, Tricky Dick.

You are paranoid.

Like sending those two-bit crooks

to Watergate.

For what?

For these?

- Look at you.

- What?

You lost it all, turkey.

- Kill me.

- Say what?

- Kill me.

- No.

That's the easy way out for you.

Unless you want the rest

of this freaky sh*t to hit the news...

...I suggest you take care

of me and my people.

Can you dig it?

I said, can you dig it?

Yes, I can dig it.

Thought you could.

First Lady, I'm sorry I pimp-slapped

you into that china cabinet.

I used excessive force.

Oftentimes, I cross the line...

...but I try to do so

in the name of what's right.

Most of the time,

the ends justifies the means.

But in this case, I feel like I betrayed

my own code of ethics...

...and for that, sugar, I apologize.

But I shot at you.

I tried to kill you, Black Dynamite.

This is true,

but you did not connect.

You shot a plate.

Had you connected,

maybe pimp-slapping you into that...

...might have been justified.

But I feel I crossed the line.

And for that,

please accept my apology.

I do.

I do, it's just...

Oh, Black Dynamite,

you're so righteous.

This is also true.

Because

whenever there's injustice...

...wrongs to be...

Oh, Black Dynamite.

Go on, honey.

Because wherever there's injustice,

wrongs to be righted...

...innocents to be defended,

Black Dynamite will be there...

...delivering ass-whoopings.

And I will not hesitate to lay

the hammer down on any clown...

...that comes around.

Because if they wanna fight,

they best come see me...

...because I'm Black Dynamite.

How you doing

with that midget girl you sent out?

Man, she keeps coming up short.

And better no nigga

mess with me, neither.

I would jump on him,

all 93 pounds of dynamite.

That's right.

So I says, "B*tch, you look like

you need a pimp in your life."

She said, "I got a pimp."

I said,

"Sh*t, that nigga ain't no pimp.

He a valet for ho's."

It's called the

Mo B*tches Variety Pack.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

I send out a big ho, a little ho,

a skinny ho, and one Navajo.

- Is that right?

- That's right.

Take that, you cracker-ass cracker.

All right, girls, let's take them down.

I only do two things well

in this world.

I take money from b*tches

and I sell drugs to the community.

I had to send your ho back

the other day.

- No?

- Yeah, man.

She reckless eyeballing

and carrying on.

She fine, but I said,

"Hey, your man is bona fide."

See? You're a righteous pimp.

Sh*t, the real pimping lives here.

It ain't ego.

That's how we go. You like that?

You gotta cross the lines sometimes.

Sometimes to do the right thing,

you got to do the ugly thing.

You know people, they don't want

to see the cow killed...

...they just want their steak

on a plate.

Can you dig it?

Good evening, gentlemen.

Who let that nigga in my house?

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