Black Knight Page #4

You have not only tarnished my daughter,

But any chance of an alliance with Normandy!

He'll pay for this.

Well, what if I was to say,

In all seriousness,

That I'm really, really sorry?

Oh, we misjudged you, Sky Walker.

When you foiled our assassination attempt

and doomed us to execution...

We were a little peeved.

To say the least.

But now, seeing your plan unfold...

Genius.

My plan?

Oh. Well, yeah. Well...

Uh...

Well, I don't like to be obvious, you know?

My plan, it just creeps up on ya.

Yes. Had the king united with Normandy,

Our rebels could never have defeated them.

Because you deflowered the princess,

Leo cannot form his alliance.

Your action has given us hope.

With luck, we can restore

our queen in hiding to the throne.

Sounds like that's a good plan.

It's a perfect plan.

Our deaths will not be in vain.

Well, good, good.

Death?! Ain't nobody dyin' here!

Ah, that white girl came on to me!

We're all going to be put to death tomorrow.

You can bloody well bet those

bastards are sharpening the ax.

At least, I hope they're sharpening it.

I saw it done with a blunt ax once.

Took all day.

Just hacking... and hacking

And hacking... and hacking...

We get it, man!

If only the Black Knight were here.

Who?

You never heard of the Black Knight?

You ever heard of Shaq?

We're even.

The legend of the Black Knight...

Legend?

The Black Knight was a great warrior.

Kings tried to buy his might,

But he swore allegiance only to justice.

It is said he was once

swallowed whole by a fierce dragon.

Swallowed whole.

But lo, with a sword of gold,

Did he cut his way from the belly of the beast.

And when he emerged, he himself

could breathe the fire of the dragon.

See, this is why you shouldn't

drink your own urine.

Sh*t!

Let the execution commence!

Maybe we need a-A...

Should wait for a bigger crowd, OK?

I'm only gonna do this once!

Go forth!

OK. Uh...

They want us to line up

in order of color, light to dark!

You a priest! I pay my tithe. I go to church.

I give up the moola! Ohh!

Wait! Primitives! They're backwards! Um...

Your Kingliness, um, one last word?

Uh...

Well, uh...

Behold!

I am a great sorcerer!

Ooh!

Uh, uh...

Do not anger me!

For with these hands,

I make... fire!

Wait. Uh... fire!

We have fire.

Oh.

Execute him! Now!

No, no!

No!

The sorcerer has cast

a spell of death upon him!

Who?

Yeah! That's right!

I cast a spell of death on him!

But I can bring him back

cos I'm a great sorcerer.

Boogedy-Boogedy-Boogedy!

Agh! Not me!

Behold!

I have somethin' to tell you.

I can make the sun fall from the sky

And burn you medieval motherf...

Fire!

The sun is falling! He'll kill us all!

Fear him not! He is no sorcerer!

He is a charlatan and a jester! Seize him!

This way! Down!

Aagh!

Get in!

Get him!

Come on!

Go!

Yah!

Close the portcullis!

Open it! Open the portcullis!

It's stuck, sire! It won't open!

Sky Walker!

Knolte!

Up we go.

Fifth time's the charm.

You find them... you kill them.

You done this sh*t before,

haven't you, Knolte?

You saved my life. I simply repaid the debt.

Payin' debt? You were

kickin' ass back there, man.

How'd you get in on this?

Your fair Victoria told me of your plight.

Victoria did this for me?

Well, you and the rebellion.

But, uh... a lot of it was for you.

Yeah, that's all right.

Agh!

I wish you well.

Look, I owe you one.

I got your back, all right?

But if you fall into trouble again,

he will not be there. Will you, Sir Knolte?

Sir Knolte?

I paid my debt and now I must leave.

Knolte was once

one of the greatest knights in England,

Until he fell for Percival's trick

and the queen lost her throne.

That was a long time ago.

I've laid down my sword

and I will not fight again.

Wait. Knolte!

Uh, uh...

But... check this out. Knolte!

Sir Knolte!

I still say we should move camp. It's just luck

Percival's patrols have yet to discover us.

An interesting suggestion. Now here's

another suggestion: serve more gruel.

You know, y'all dead wrong.

You dead wrong. This is a lady here.

Uh, Vicky? I wanna thank you

For helping Sir Knolte save my life.

Actually, the plan was mine.

No sh*t?

I sh*t you not.

I had to tell everyone

I'd heard it from a great warrior,

Otherwise no one would have

listened to me, a woman.

So you like me a little more than you...

Did you have a nice time with the princess?

Wait! Look, the only reason

I slept with the princess,

Cos I thought she was you. That's true.

That's the real true bill. True bill. OK?

It was dark, and I had no night-Light.

I'm tellin' you...

Whatever you think I want to hear.

I think all our words have been said.

Hey, Vicky...

I can help you get outta here, way outta here.

Take you to a place where a smart woman

like you can do more than just ladle gruel.

Look, if you show me how to get to the lake,

tomorrow you'll be at Fox Hills Mall

Gettin' your legs waxed.

Huh? Drinkin' mai tais, chillin'.

So what's it gonna be?

Gruel, leprosy, mean-Ass king?

Mai tais, chillin', bikini, thong?

I realize that our backward rebel society

is far from perfect,

But it's a step in the right direction.

Now is the eve of our great offensive.

I can live with losing the good fight,

but I cannot live with not fighting it.

The lake you seek is that way.

Safe journey.

Hey, old sot!

I have no quarrel with you, sir.

Finally, the lake.

Better not come out on the other end

fightin' dinosaurs.

All right, think, think, think.

It's not my fight.

Yeah, that's it. It's not my battle.

That's right, it's...

it is not my battle at all. Yeah.

So, uh... Iet's do this.

Home sweet home.

Perhaps I'll stand you to a drink.

Oh!

Thank you.

Bless you.

Man, I think it's time to admit

you have a drinking problem.

I want my grog back. Pick it up.

You don't wanna be messin' with me

cos I'm liable to stuff a mud hole in your ass.

You know?

It's an insult, dumb-Ass.

I have killed six men with these.

What do you move for?

It's called boxing.

That's called a Rope-A-Dope.

Look at the footwork! Look at the footwork!

You know it

Now let me introduce you to my little friend.

Knolte! Come on, man.

I know you got my back.

Knolte is not a fighter.

He is not even a man!

All right, wait.

Aaagh!

Get your ass outta here. That's right.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

Perhaps there's life in the old dog yet.

Oh, man! High five.

This is a high five moment.

Yeah, put your arm up. Right here, like that.

Well, we'll work on that.

Hey, you bad man.

You put his face in the sh*t!

Yes, I did.

Oh, man.

Hey, Knolte, we was a great team

back there, right? Like Shaq and Kobe.

Shaq and Kobe?

Well, I'll explain it to you when we

get back to the camp. I loved it, man.

This... "Rope-A-Dope."

Could you teach me its mysterious ways?

You just let your man tire himself out, right?

He just get the punchin' on you.

Then you like that, while he like this...

Then he tired, and you ready to really...

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