Black Knight Page #5

What happened?

Percival's patrols. They found us.

The only men standing are

those of us who were away from camp.

Damn! Victoria told us this would happen.

Victoria!

They took her.

Now she's lost, like our cause.

Just another bauble in the king's crown.

Look here, we just gotta rescue her. You

know what I'm saying? Take out the king.

Uh, uh...

Who here will fight?

Who's ready to rumble?

Nobody?!

I will.

That's what I'm talkin' about, Knolte.

But we are greatly depleted,

both in number and in spirit.

Nothing could inspire them

to ever fight again.

These men might

fight for their queen.

The queen.

What's happenin' now? How you doin'?

He's French.

Sir Knolte.

I am pleased to see you.

For all this time, I thought you were dead.

Well, l... was.

Your Majesty, I was.

I beg your forgiveness.

I should not have left you alone.

If you had not, you surely would

have been killed with the others.

I'm therefore grateful that you did.

But now that you've returned from the dead,

it is time to return me to my throne.

Will the men fight again on my behalf?

Oh! I can answer that. Ain't nothin' happenin'.

You know? They draggin' ass.

I asked them that same thing.

They go and act like they ain't hear me,

didn't they, Knolte?

This is my friend Sky Walker, a man

of unconventional wisdom and courage.

What do you think, Sky Walker?

I think they're gonna need a pep talk. You

know what I'm sayin', Your Highnessness?

They gonna be needin' a major pep talk.

Gotta get up in here.

My queen could inspire the stars

to fall from the heavens.

Gather the men, that I might give some words

to stir the soul and burn the blood.

England!

Sceptered isle of lute and chattel,

Void your rheum upon my bosom!

Oh, England!

I've heard enough.

Oh, England!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why don't you let me give it a try?

See if I can give 'em the ol' Al Sharpton.

Well, uh...

There once was a great king!

Rodney King,

Who said "Ow, ow, ow!"

"Officer Allen, ow!"

"Get 'em off... Ow! Bzz! Agh!"

And who also said

"Can't we all just get along?"

We need a knight, not a jester.

I'm gonna go and start diggin' our graves.

Well, I say sometimes we can't just get along!

Sometimes we gotta take up arms!

Look.

Hear what I'm sayin'.

Your lives are shitty.

I know because I've been there.

I know the feeling of

waitin' for your ship to come in

And you're standing

in the middle of the desert.

Oh, England, you lost your kingdom.

You live in huts. You look like hell.

Well, you do! Check your feet out.

Look at your feet. Mm-Hm, see?

Restore this lovely queen to her throne.

Cos when you can do that, she promises

that there will be a horse in every stable,

A chicken in every pot.

That's right. Mm!

Can I get an "amen"?

I said, can I get an "amen"?!

Amen.

Can I get an "amen"?!

Amen! Amen!

King Leo.

He thinks he's King Arthur.

Well, I know King Arthur.

And you, King Leo, are no King Arthur!

No King Arthur, indeed!

No King Arthur! No King Arthur!

Ask not what your fiefdom could do for you,

But what you could do for your fiefdom!

Now, Sir Knolte, bring me back my crown.

Your Majesty, it will be an honor.

King Leo got a great big castle..

King Leo got a great big castle...

And we're gonna shove it

right up his a**hole...

We're gonna shove it right up his a**hole...

Sound off

One, two...

Bring it on down.

Huh, huh, huh-Huh

Yeah, that's tight! Right to the chest.

I'm lovin' it!

Tight.

That's tight.

Yeah, yeah! Get it! Get it!

Try not to mount his ass next time.

Ooh! Oh!

One, two, three. Yes!

Set!

Eight! Shift! 27 blue!

Oh! Lovin' it, yeah! See what I'm sayin'?

Splendid.

Yeah, that's tight.

Here you go, man.

What are these?

Some new jumps, for when

you lead your troops tomorrow.

Thought it might be easier for you to get

around if your feet didn't weigh 500 pounds.

I thank you.

It's all good.

I, too, have something for you. John!

What's this?

A knight must be properly attired.

You and I both know I'm no knight.

You're as much a knight as any man I know,

should you so choose.

Sleep well.

The portcullis is open, unguarded!

Where is Percival?

Where are the guards?

Knolte!

Be brave, lads!

Hold the line!

Slaughter them!

It's the Black Knight! The Black Knight!

He lives!

It's the Black Knight!

The Black Knight!

I can't believe it!

It's him! He lives!

It's the Moor!

Yah!

Blue 27!

Set! Hut, hut, hut!

Yeah, yeah!

Whoo!

Aagh!

I'll take him.

Good idea.

Is that all you got?

I pray you, is that all you possess?

Huh?

Phillip!

The kingdom is falling!

Be not afeard. I have everything in hand.

Are you mad? You must help me flee.

You must get me to safety.

Shut up!

Aaah!

Ha-Ha-Ha! Boo-Yeah!

Watch your step!

Ha-Ha-Ha! Good, eh?

And that, my friend, is the Rope-A-Dope.

Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about!

Hey, Knolte, you the man! Yeah!

Knolte!

Knolte!

You're a brave knight.

It's been an honor fighting beside you.

Take this.

You know what to do.

The Black Knight.

Drop the sword, or I kill the girl.

Let her go.

Do it!

Don't do it, Jamal!

So...

Now the Moor's a swordsman.

Now you shall die at my hands, as Knolte did.

Ohh!

Let me ask you somethin'.

You like baseball?

Or maybe you like basketball?

Maybe golf?

You can thank Tiger for that.

You OK?

I'm sure I'll be fine.

How's your neck?

You were very brave.

Let me help you up.

Jamal!

Knolte!

Long live the queen!

Yes! Yes!

Yes! Knolte!

We'll have an amazing

life together. You'll love LA.

But I was thinking...

I'm not goin' back without you.

You know, I'd go to

the end of the earth for you.

That's only six miles from here.

You've got a lot to learn.

Teach me.

You want me to teach you?

'Tis a strange way to...

It's French.

Oh!

Sky Walker, are you both

still determined to leave us?

We hate to lose such a brave warrior.

Nothin' personal, uh, Miss Queen.

But, uh, Knolte's right.

I got my own battles to fight, you know?

That's my bun. You hooked me up with her.

She knew I was down with somebody cool,

so she started likin' me.

In acknowledgment for

your service to the Crown,

I dub thee Sir Sky Walker, the Black Knight.

Clear.

Clear!

What...?

His vital signs appear normal.

Jamal! Jamal!

Yo, you OK, man?

You scared the hell outta me! You was

under that water for, like, ten minutes!

Hey. Yo, where's Victoria? Vicky?

Who?

Stop playin', man!

Vicky. Victoria, my bun!

Jamal, what you talkin' about, man?

What...? Vicky?

Dude, you know, a workplace

accident like this, we can sue.

There ain't no honor in that, man.

Don't think I don't know what you doin'.

You fake you some accident, get you

a lawyer and walk away with my money.

Well, it won't work! And I already

went ahead and took your advice.

What advice?

I quit.

Oh, Mrs Bostick, you can't quit.

OK? We can work it out.

We just gotta fight, that's all.

You on the pipe?

Mrs Bostick, look, um...

I know things can get a little scary,

but courage isn't the absence of fear.

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