Blame It on the Bellboy Page #4

for a woman's company?

Yes, maybe but it's always been

a nonstarter with my occupation.

I mean, it's a passion killer.

"What do you do?" "I shoot people."

Not exactly "Have a nice day at work."

Don't fret. Things will pick up

when you're a florist.

There's never been anything

really special?

Not really.

Nothing to set the world on fire.

Fuoco!

Italiano. Attenzione!

Francese. Attention!

English. Attention!

Americano...

Get the f*** out of here!

[extinguisher]

Pericoloso!

Non avvicinatevi. Lontani!

Grazie! Grazie!

Tu sei un genio.

What time did she say she'd ring?

She didn't. Perhaps she's decided not to,

perhaps she's forgotten.

- [phone]

- Yes?

- Mr. Horton. Got the money?

- Yes, I have.

- Where?

- Here.

- Bring it to the villa.

- Villa?

- Are you arguing?

- All right.

- When?

- An hour?

See you then, big boy. Arrivederci.

Arrivederci to you too!

Horton. 235.

- Thank you.

- Grazie.

Prego.

You're holding a case of mine.

Melvyn Orton. Room 310.

You sure this is right?

Do you want to settle

your account now, sir?

What? No. No, later.

Oh...

You're coming back, then?

Of course I am coming back.

I'm coming back, aren't I?

- Orton. 310.

- Thank you.

Thank you very much.

- Isn't that mine?

- You have to earn it first.

Lido, please.

Lido!

The Lido!

Smile!

You're not thinking of using that,

are you?

We're only doing this

so you don't have to use that again.

Now!

What?

No! No!

- What?

- Not with her. What has she done?

She married the little sh*t!

Now press it!

Just wait till they've landed.

Maurice, is this it?

It's just...

Oh, honestly,

you shouldn't have done this.

Maurice, are you all right?

Umm...

Just I don't like carrying

so much cash.

Oh, Maurice, it's just wonderful.

Maurice, she'll be here soon.

If it worries you so much, sit on it.

[swing creaks]

Press it. Press it.

Press it!

Press it.

Again.

- It's not working.

- We must be out of range.

- Take us in closer.

- We can't. It's too shallow.

Gotcha!

- No!

- It's okay. It's just for show.

- Remember, you're in range.

- My money.

Don't worry. We take care for you.

Payment on delivery.

It's unbelievable, Maurice.

Maurice!

Maurice!

Maurice, help me!

Press it now. Press it now.

Press it now!

It's not working!

It's mine!

- It's bloody mine!

- It's not, it's mine!

- Who are you?

- Caroline Wright.

- You're dead.

- Dead?

Why haven't you killed her?

- Killed me?

- Killed her?

You did put the switch on, yes?

Yes, I checked it

when I swapped the tags.

You swapped the tags?

I swapped the tags!

Oh, my God! No!

Kill him!

Get the case, you idiots!

- Oh, my God.

- It's his. The money's his.

- Put the gun down.

- I've got them covered.

- His job, his money. You stole it.

- Stole it? I beg your pardon?

- It's from the bank. It's my money.

- It's mine.

Mr. Horton's just bought this villa.

I've got the papers.

- He came here to buy it.

- He came on Medi-Date.

- Medi what?

- Medi-Date. Check it out, sister!

Look! I got this money

from my bank in England.

- Put the gun down.

- We've come this far.

Put the bloody gun down!

Sorry about this. Let's turn around

and get out of here.

There's been a misunderstanding.

What are you doing? Wait!

What's Medi-Date?

Gobbledegook.

Mad as a hatter, poor woman.

- You weren't bloody worth it.

- That's okay.

- Neither is the house.

- For 100,000? I can't go wrong.

Nobody's called for me, have they?

S.

Mr. Marshall called.

He say, "You're farting around...

you d*ckhead."

Dick... head.

I'll...

"You are a useless..."

"Waste of space."

"He out of patience. You out of job."

Okay. Bravo. Bravo.

What is it? What do I do

that sends every man packing?

I'm not packing because of you

but to stay alive.

The people I work for, they give you

a target, you kill him, or they kill you.

They'll never stop looking.

Doesn't matter where I go.

Actually, sir, I did get to see one.

It's not a villa, it's a big house

on the Grand Canal.

Umpteen bedrooms...

Nice, cozy cellar.

And it's empty right now.

- You weren't going to use that.

- From Miss Rambo!

It's my fault. Let me talk to them.

They're gonna blow me away.

They'll blow you away too!

They're not picky, these people.

Any minute, they're going to come in

and we'll end up a mess on the floor.

[knock at door]

[knocking]

[knocking]

Message!

Don't move.

"Mr. Lawton, congratulations.

"Three birds with one stone,

"so generous bonus included in payment,

"already credited

to your European account."

- Job's done? They paid?

- Santo Dio!

- Steady on.

- Sorry.

Thank you very much.

If anyone else I can do to make

your stay a happy one, call on me.

Why didn't you call me?

How much do they want for it?

280...

Sorry. Three hundred...

And fifty...

Five... thousand pounds.

Right, get down

to the Banco Popolare, St. Mark's.

Take some ID and the cash will be there.

Able to manage that?

If you do that, keep the job.

[dead line]

If I can do that...

you can stuff the job.

Thank you, sir. Have a nice day.

Prego.

Bahamas, please, and step on it.

Railway station, actually.

- Isn't that the estate agent girl?

- Is it?

What's she hanging around for,

looking so pleased with herself?

You'll have to change your name.

Something boring.

Miss Smith?

How about that, Miss Gladys Smith?

- How about Mrs. Charlton Black?

- Oh!

That's far too exciting.

Who's Charlton Black?

Me.

You don't have to answer straightaway.

- It can wait. Think about it.

- Why wait?

This is the perfect moment.

The answer's yes, Charlton.

It's Chuck, really.

The answer's yes, Chuck.

[engines roar]

Bloody hell.

It just needs a little work.

[mutters in Italian]

Faster!

[rattling]

# I'm tired of being a yes man

Forever going wrong

# I'm gonna get my own back, the

world is gonna turn before too long

# Maybe now at last

I'm feeling strong

# And I'm waiting

for the perfect moment

# Looking for an end

to my wasted day

# The perfect moment

# Suddenly the world

don't look so gray

# Got to face the music

and settle up the score

# A change in my direction

I just can't walk this way no more

# Now there's a clear path

to your door

# You know too much about me

Too much to let you go

# So stay a while longer

Tell me things I really ought to know

# Gotta find a place

where love can grow

# I'm waiting for the perfect moment

# Looking for an end

to my wasted day

# I hope I find a way

a way to convince you

# That we've got a chance

to make a new start

# I've been searching hard

# Don't make no sense

to stay apart

# You're here in my heart

# The perfect moment #

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