Blankman Page #5

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has joined me...

...in my quest to fight crime.

This person is a truly wonderful

and unique person.

I'd like to say thank you...

...Kimberly Jonz.

Blankman!

You all want your money?

Let's open the bank!

'Morning, folks.

I got you some happy customers out there.

Don't even think about it!

Put your weapons down, now!

- Put them down! Now get out!

- This is crazy!

- Everybody, get out!

- Stop this!

Don't hurt anybody!

Hello, folks! Say hello to the bad guys!

Calm down.

Everybody, get out!

Move! Let's go!

Are you nuts? There are

100 pissed-off cops outside...

...and they haven't been paid in weeks.

You'll never get through the doors.

Hello, Mr. Mayor!

Anyone can rob a bank...

...but it takes a real

man to do it in satin.

Blankman, I'm Police Commissioner Gains.

How do you want to handle this?

- Maybe I could reason with them?

- Great. We'll be right here.

I am not going to let you...

Stay out of it! Blankman will handle it.

"They're gonna kill me

They're gonna smash me like a little bug"

I'm a dead man.

Yes, I'm a dead man.

Hello?

Mr. Burglars?

You think maybe we could talk about

this hostage thing like gentlemen?

Okay.

I tried.

You came to make a deposit, Blankman?

Everybody,

get back before I blow you away!

Hello, Blankman.

What brings you here?

Were they giving away calendars today?

Michael "The Suit" Minelli.

You'll never get away with this,

you diabolical fiend!

"Fiend"?

He's getting those things out

of the funny papers or something.

What did you do with the Mayor?

Blankman, I have some good news

about the Mayor.

They had a recent opinion poll

and the results just came in.

He's going sky-high!

Chain him up with the Mayor!

Everyone, please stay calm.

Blankman has the situation under control.

I repeat, Blankman has the situation...

...under control.

This bomb will probably take

about ten minutes to be defused.

So, I think I'm going to set it for...

...three minutes.

Now, how can I say it?

Don't go to pieces.

Hardy-har-har.

Okay, boys. We got three minutes.

Less!

Let's go!

Must get to Blankbelt.

Must spray floor with...

...super-slick Blankgoop.

There.

Stink bomb. And get...

...stink bomb to them.

Hold your breath, Mayor.

This may get funky.

- That's foul.

- What is that smell?

Let me out of here!

See if you can close the vault.

Tony, the vault!

- Everybody, get out.

- It's locked!

Get out! Everybody, let's go!

Hurry up, morons!

Good thinking. At least those scumbags

won't get the city's money.

One thing they didn't count on,

was my ability...

...to get myself out of...

...tight situations.

Excuse me.

Stop that guy! Stop him!

Hello?

- Go away. It's not safe.

- Will you get him out of here?

Oh, my God.

- What happened here?

- Blankman, would you go?

- Does this mean what I think it means?

- Will you get him out of here?

- Do you know what you're doing?

- Yeah.

All I have to do

is separate this wire, and...

- No, I don't know what I'm doing.

- Move out of the way.

You know what?

This white man is dead.

You can't save him. Let's go.

- Please, go.

- Let me think.

Let me think. A positive, B positive...

A. Think positive.

I did it!

You did it!

- I still hear ticking.

- You hear what?

Why do I still hear ticking?

This bag is full of explosives.

You did what you could.

Go.

Go!

I think he's got a point.

Let's just get out.

Wait!

Eleanor Walker was my grandmother.

She really believed in you.

She was a good woman.

I'll give her your love.

The clock, gentlemen.

The clock!

Get back!

That was the bravest thing

I've ever seen anyone do in my life.

We almost got killed with a boom.

Mayor Harris is dead.

You did what you could.

No one else would have gone in there.

Excuse me! Hello!

Can I at least get a handshake?

What about my money?

- I haven't been paid!

- What about our checks!

I want my money!

We want the check cashed!

I've got hungry kids at home!

- Where's our money?

- Blankman was in control here.

He's a coward. He ran away!

I told him not to go in there!

He killed the Mayor! Get him!

Blankman,

you're responsible and you know it!

- I think you better get out of here.

- I think you're right.

Police Commissioner Gains put the blame

squarely on Blankman's shoulders...

...referring to the fleeing ex-role model as a

"quivering, spineless, world-class coward."

Our mistake was in trusting

this supposed hero...

...who runs around in his grandma's

underwear with a smelly sock on his face.

We never believed that he'd kill

Mayor Harris and selfishly save himself.

We're your police department, folks.

We're here to protect and serve...

...not a guy who robs Laundromats

to have a good time.

I'm not going to do it anymore, J-5. Sorry.

Hello, Kimberly.

Don't you make it harder

than it already is!

The procession worked its way through the

downtown area as the city said farewell.

Finally winding down in the neighborhood

where Mayor Harris spent his childhood...

...among the people

he referred to as "family."

Darryl.

You got to get over this.

You've been sitting here

watching this stuff for three days.

That wasn't your fault.

All I wanted to do was help.

You don't have to be a hero, Darryl.

Why don't you try being

like everyone else?

How am I going to do that?

You can start by getting a job.

Hello! Welcome to McDonald's.

May I take your order, please?

Just a burger, man.

- Would you like fries with that?

- No.

They're cooked to crispy,

golden perfection.

- Yeah, man. I'm sure.

- Perhaps a soda?

We're doing salads now.

People don't expect that from McDonald's.

Chunky chicken salad.

Just give me my damn burger, all right?

For here or to go?

He's just a little "McMad" right now.

Hey, my purse! Give me my purse!

Stop him! Stop him!

Weak, goofy bastard!

So, this is Hard Edition?

Michael Minelli.

Larry Stone. Pleased to meet you.

- How'd you track me down, Stone?

- This is tabloid TV, we can do anything.

What is it you want from me?

Rumor has it

you're looking for the Blankman.

Everyone knows the Blankman

has disappeared. Nobody's seen him.

Not for weeks.

I can give you the Blankman.

What's in it for you?

Ratings, Mr. Minelli.

Ratings give me a woody.

But to get ratings, you got to have a star.

David Koresh.

Fifty-two days in the number one spot.

He wanted to run a summer camp.

I said, "David, why be a counselor...

"...when you can be the Messiah?"

Now you, I can't make the Messiah.

But you give me an exclusive interview,

I'll give you the Blankman.

I don't make deals.

And I don't do television.

Where is the Blankman?

Hey, Einstein, I don't know if you noticed,

but this ain't a boil on my ass.

It's a wheelchair. I'm paralyzed

from the waist down. I can't feel a thing.

I felt that.

You through?

I like this guy!

He ain't got no legs, but he's got balls.

- Take a walk with me. Have a seat.

- All right.

I happen to know that Blankman

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