Blind Date Page #4

Your wallet.

- Oh, sh*t! The cops!

- Drop the gun!

There was three girls.

One of the girls put a gun to my head!

She had a knife in my crotch!

Get out of the freaking car!

One had red hair standing straight up.

Both had leather jackets,

and one had a big tattoo!

How much did you drink tonight, sir?

Good.

Head back.

Eyes closed.

Arms out.

Palms up.

With your left hand,

touch the tip of your nose.

Good.

Now the other hand.

Now, keep your eyes closed.

Raise your right foot

eight inches for 10 seconds.

God, I feel horrible.

Dare I hope that you sobered up?

Oh, I drank. I drank so much.

Yes, you did.

And the dinner party... Oh, God.

- Walter, I'm so sorry.

- Well...

...I know I feel a lot better now.

I just have this chemical imbalance.

It's like an allergy to alcohol.

It makes me crazy, that's all.

Is that so?

Look, Walter, I know you hate me.

So just listen.

Take me to my friend Cathy's house.

I know the address.

I won't ever bother you again.

I'll kill you!

Great!

- I thought we'd lost him!

- What fun would that be?

- David!

- Hold the tray!

You son of a b*tch! You wanna play?

Fine, I'll kill you!

Actually, if you'll just

drop me off at the nearest hotel...

- And end this glorious evening?

- I told you I was sorry.

It's barely midnight.

Don't you wanna boogie down?

Dance all night? Tear up the town?

I just wanna lie down

in a nice, cool place.

I just remembered! There's a party!

I know somebody mentioned

a party at Elm and East Hill.

I don't wanna go to a party anymore.

My friends are nice, quiet people.

They'll bore you.

We'll just have to

liven them up, won't we?

Seen some traffic, pal?

- Walter, listen to me.

- What?

Party pooper.

- Please, Walter.

- This is great.

- How are you?

- Walter Davis, rocket scientist.

I'm thirsty.

Thank you.

Walter Davis, gynaecologist.

- I know these people.

- Great! Let's mingle.

You can't juggle pt.

Oh, my God!

- You came after all.

- Walter Davis, interior decorator.

- Did you do the Leland house?

- We did the upstairs in '60's kitsch.

- Beanbag chairs, lava lamps. Amazing.

- We have to go there now.

That's a great suit, Grant.

106 at the Forum,

24 seconds left in the game.

Lakers down by one.

Magic pumps, shoots.

Lakers win in overtime, folks!

Boston fans?

Do I hear a mambo?

Come on, Nadia.

It's mambo time!

Listen to me!

Come and dance with me, darling.

Walter Davis, brain surgeon.

Walter Davis, mambo king!

- Mambo with me, darling!

- Would you care for another...

I hope Walter and Nadia

are having a good time.

You lie down in a quiet room,

and I'll call a cab.

What is all this? I thought

you were Ms. Party-All-Night.

This is a great f***ing party!

You'll thank me in the morning.

Let's do it.

Let's do it in the coats!

Right here in the fur coats, honey.

Why don't you do now what you're

going to do later anyway?

Just pass out.

Come to me, baby!

Nadia, my little minx.

You've come back to me.

You can't get rid of me that easily.

I'm gonna rip your head off!

So I take her to my house,

watch a movie, kicking back.

She's about this tall.

Sort of like that one.

Can I help you?

I need my suitcase out of here.

I called a cab.

- I wanna talk to you!

- Hey, go call somebody.

I'm gonna freaking kill you!

Get up, you big...

Call them!

- Walter, no!

- Shut up!

- I'm not worth it.

- Shut up!

- Dance!

- What?

I said dance, scumbag!

Moonwalk!

I hate that sh*t!

He's got a gun!

Step up to the line, sir.

Hands over your head.

Straighten up. Look straight ahead.

Here. You're allowed two phone calls.

My brother was just

in a serious accident. I...

- What do you drive? I have a car...

- Have a nice day.

Buckle up, Walter.

You're in enough trouble.

It's the law!

Home?

I warned you not to let her drink.

You'd better get a good lawyer

or you'll go to jail for a long time.

You're lucky you didn't kill anybody.

Bad hangover?

Serves you right.

New car?

God!

- Sorry about your car.

- Just get out.

- Thanks for bailing me out.

- I didn't bail you out.

- Teddy, what did you say?

- I said I didn't bail you out.

- Well, who did?

- Nadia.

What?! Wait a second!

- You smashed my rear window!

- Where is she?

- For chrissakes, she's staying with us!

- I want you to take me to her.

- She didn't go to her friend's.

- Where is she?

It's only 7:
30!

- I'm feeling sick again.

- She's in the guest room.

- What is it?

- He wants to talk to Nadia.

- But it's only 7:30.

- Look, Walter's out of control.

Can you hear me?

- Yes. Who are you?

- It's Walter.

Walter, are you dead?

God, you look dead.

How much do I owe you for my bail?

I don't wanna be obligated

to you for anything.

Tell me how much I owe you.

I'll go home and write you a check.

- Can we discuss this later?

- I don't have much time.

- Don't shout.

- I wasn't shouting.

I know. I thought you were going to,

and I couldn't stand it.

I go to court a week from this Friday.

After that, I'm told

I'll probably go to jail...

...for at least two years.

I'd rather kill myself

than have you visit me in jail.

So tell me how much I owe you...

...and then I never

wanna see you again.

Ten thousand dollars!

Now get out of here,

you ungrateful monster.

Ungrateful?

I'm ungrateful?

I should be grateful after

what you did to me last night?

After what I did?

What did I do to you?

You did a lot of things,

to a lot of people.

I just happened to be a part of it.

A big part, I recall.

- You got me drunk.

- I didn't get you drunk.

- You bought the champagne.

- You didn't have to drink it!

That's a cheap shot, Walter.

A real cheap shot.

I drank it because you

seemed sweet and generous.

Somebody I could fall in love with.

I thought you were special.

I really did.

I'm sorry you got fired.

I'm sorry you got arrested.

But you know why I'm most sorry?

I'm sorry that you're not so special.

That you're mean and self-pitying...

...and that you don't give

a damn about how I feel.

And I feel shitty, Walter!

Oh, God.

Where you going?

Want me to drive...? You want a cab?

You're right.

Without a great lawyer,

he'll probably go to prison.

He's planning on defending himself.

He'll definitely go to prison.

Will you defend him?

Why would I do that?

Because you're greatly responsible,

that's why.

You do have a point.

I am greatly responsible.

Not good enough.

If you do, I'll live with you.

Still not good enough.

- Okay. Goodbye.

- I'll defend him on one condition.

What's that?

Marry me.

I feel guilty about what I did

to Walter, but not that guilty.

Possession of an illegal firearm.

Assault with intent to commit murder.

Ten years, minimum.

- Yes, Lupa.

- Miss Gates wishes to see you again.

- Have her wait.

- Yes, sir.

You should know this up front.

I don't like you anymore.

And I certainly don't love you.

I don't blame you.

Do we have to have sex?

But no kissing.

All rise. Court is now in session.

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