Blind Date Page #5

Judge Harold Bedford presiding.

Be seated.

Mr. Walter Davis.

Thank you. Yes, Your Honour.

I understand you refuse

to be represented by counsel.

That's correct.

Are you suicidal, Mr. Davis,

or just plain stupid?

Probably a bit of both, sir.

Your Honour.

I see.

Mr. Davis, it would be a humongous

understatement to tell you...

...how passionately I disapprove

of your actions.

In fact, I'd be equally

critical of a physician...

...planning to perform

brain surgery on himself.

- Yes, Your Honour.

- "Yes, Your Honour" doesn't do it.

Let the public defender

handle your case.

- That won't be necessary, Your Honour.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Sorry I'm late. I got it from here.

- Mr. Davis, would you explain this?

I'll represent Mr. Davis, Your Honour.

I was speaking to Mr. Davis!

I was under the impression...

- What are you doing?

- I'm doing this as a favour to Nadia.

- Ensuring I go to the gas chamber?

- If you're not calm, I can't help.

- Please don't let this man help me!

- Order in the court!

One more outburst,

and I'll hold you in contempt.

- You all right, Agnes?

- Yes, Your Honour, I'm all right.

Will counsel please

approach the bench?

Hey! Your...

This is...

What the hell's going on?

Not complicated. I decided

he shouldn't defend himself.

- Bullshit. What's on your face?

- I was in a fight.

- With whom?

- Mr. Davis.

- I don't want complications.

- Since when?

I offer you a proposition.

- If you find my defendant innocent...

- Stop.

You're crazy, trying to bribe

a superior court judge.

I'll stop practising law

in your jurisdiction.

- I don't believe you.

- I swear on Mother's grave.

- Your mom's playing golf at Bel Air.

- I meant future tense.

- Go out of state. Say, Alaska?

- My heart's set on somewhere tropical.

- Change your name.

- Not practical. I'm getting married.

You could honeymoon for

five or six years. All expenses paid.

- I don't think that would...

- I won't press my luck.

- One more thing.

- I knew it.

The wedding's at your house.

Invite all your influential friends.

If I practice law in another state,

I want to drop some big names.

- Anything else?

- That's it.

I'll be breaking the law for

the first time, but it's worth it.

Thanks, Dad.

- Jesus.

- Sorry, Your Honour.

What did you tell him? What?

You can't railroad me into jail

so you can have a shot at Nadia!

- Quiet!

- Don't believe him! He's crazy!

- He's trying to steal my girl!

- Order!

Order in the goddamn court!

Sorry, Agnes.

I find the defendant not guilty.

Case dismissed.

- Take a 20-minute recess.

- All rise. Twenty-minute recess.

Congratulations.

- What happened?

- You're a free man.

- Now you can congratulate me.

- What for?

Nadia and I are getting married.

And you're the one

who made it possible.

- Where's Nadia?

- Baton Rouge, telling her mom.

In the last few days my reality

has been tested to the limits, but...

- Telling her mom what?

- She said to give you this.

You are so lucky.

Why are you so unhappy?

You guys go ahead.

I'm gonna walk a while.

"Dearest Walter:

You may not believe it...

... but I am sorry

for the trouble I caused you.

I hope someday you'll find it

in your heart to forgive me.

You're a special person, Walter,

and I'll miss you a lot.

Love, Nadia.

Oh, P.S. I hope you start

playing the guitar again. "

- Hello.

- Susie, it's Nadia.

- Hi, where are you?

- Still in Baton Rouge. How's Walter?

He seemed pretty good

when I talked to him on the phone.

He asked about you.

I told him you were...

- ... deliriously happy. Did I lie?

- No.

Oh, honey. Just get out of this thing.

You're just gonna ruin your life.

I can't. I know it sounds crazy,

but I made a deal.

Look, I'll call you

when I get in. Bye.

- Who's that?

- It's Nadia.

How is she?

She's deliriously happy.

- What is it, darling?

- Air.

The air here's so wonderful.

I just love it.

What, no merry-go-round?

You promised David

a first-class wedding.

- A wedding, not Disney World.

- Don't be a shitheel, Harold.

Your only son doesn't

get married every day.

He's your son too.

It's time you take half the blame.

- Mom! Dad!

- See? He even gives you top billing.

Your soon-to-be daughter-in-law.

- Hello.

- How do you do?

- Well, let me show you to your room.

- Okay, fine.

What do you think?

She isn't at all

what I thought she'd be.

What did you think she'd be?

Blind.

- Plan to have children?

- Naturally.

- I know what to get you for a present.

- What's that?

A vasectomy.

The house is far too large

for us without David here...

...but we're so emotionally attached.

We bought it in 1953...

...the year after

Harold became a judge.

- It's lovely.

- Thank you, my dear.

Where are you and David

planning on living?

We haven't really decided yet.

I think David likes San Francisco.

I thought you had in mind

something more tropical.

We really haven't decided on

a place yet. Miami, maybe. Honolulu.

- I understand you're from the South?

- Louisiana.

I love the South. I played

the front nine at Augusta once.

- Did you let Rambo out?

- Yes, sir.

Jesus Christ.

Good doggie. Nice doggie.

Oh, sh*t.

She's lovely.

And bright.

To marry him,

she must have a screw loose.

What is that dog barking about?

Jordan.

Rambo! Shut up!

You'll wake up

the whole neighbourhood!

- Rambo!

- Jordan!

- Yes, sir?

- What's with that dog?

- I don't know, sir.

- Do something!

Come here, Rambo.

What the hell's got into you?

Stop that! You keep quiet

or I'll call the vet...

...and he'll cut them off

and you'll bark like Cyndi Lauper.

Help!

Somebody open the door!

Rambo, shut up!

- Rambo, shut up!

- Jordan, shut up!

Come on, Rambo.

I want you to be quiet, you hear me?

What the hell are you doing?

Planting corn!

What the hell do you think?

I can't stand him. He's an idiot.

Let's go back to bed

and forget him, okay?

Maybe if we think hard, he'll go away.

If he leaves me this house,

I'll sell it.

Tomorrow, yes.

Good night.

Miserable mutt!

Would you like some hot cocoa?

Rambo can protect us

when the neighbours try to lynch us.

I'm gonna kill that damn dog.

What the hell was that?

Oh, it must have been the wind.

There's no wind.

- What?

- What?

Great.

Darling, my door's locked.

I guess the wind...

David, it won't work.

Now good night!

Great.

Here's Johnny!

You all right, Agnes?

Look at me!

I'll have to take another shower.

I hate this! Jesus!

Walter?

It's not funny, David.

Jesus.

Plant seeds in my pocket.

Great. I'm filthy.

Why, what did you do that for?

There you are, you filthy beast.

How did you get out?

Right. Come on.

Back in the pen you go.

You gonna move or aren't you?

- What's that?

- It's for Miss Gates.

I'll take it.

Why's he so happy?

Hard to say. Last time he acted

like that, he'd run over the cat.

Hello. Good morning.

- You look very happy, David.

- So do you, darling.

This is for you.

Love you!

Nadia, do you mind

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