Blithe Spirit Page #2

Down with your head, up with your heart

and you're over the top like a flash

and skimming down the other side

like a dragonfly.

Dinner is served, ma'am.

Thank you, Edith.

- Oh, no red meat, l hope?

- There's meat, but l don't think it'll be very red.

l make it a rule

never to eat red meat before l work.

- Would you rather have an egg or something?

- Oh, no, thank you. We'll risk it.

lt's just that it sometimes has an odd effect.

- What sort of effect?

- Nothing of the least importance.

Thank you.

How do you get in touch with people

on the other side, Madame Arcati?

Through a control, of course.

ln my case, a little girl. They're the best.

Some mediums prefer lndians,

but l've always found them unreliable.

ln what way, ''unreliable''?

They're frightfully lazy.

Also, when faced with any sort of difficulty,

they're apt to go off into their own

tribal language, which is unintelligible.

That spoils everything and wastes time.

Do you feel funny when you go off into a trance?

ln what way, ''funny''?

l don't think she means ''funny'' in its comic

implication. l think she meant ''strange'' or ''odd''.

The word was an unfortunate choice.

Oh, l'm sure l'm very sorry.

lt doesn't matter in the least.

Please don't apologise.

When did you first discover

that you had these remarkable powers?

When l was quite tiny.

My mother was a medium before me,

so l had every opportunity

of starting on the ground floor.

l had my first trance when l was four years old

and my first ectoplasmic manifestation

when l was five and a half.

What an exciting day that was!

l shall never forget it.

Of course, the manifestation was quite small

and of very short duration,

but for a child of my tender years

it was most gratifying.

Can you tell fortunes?

Certainly not.

l disapprove of fortune-tellers most strongly.

(Ruth clears her throat)

Edith, we don't want to be disturbed for

the next hour or so for any reason whatsoever.

- ls that clear?

- Yessum.

- Unless it's an urgent call for George.

- Unless it's an urgent call for Dr Bradman.

Well, Madame Arcati, the time is drawing near.

- Who knows? lt may be receding.

- How very true.

l hope you feel in the mood, Madame Arcati.

lt isn't a question of mood,

it's a question of concentration.

You must forgive us being impatient.

We can easily wait if you're not ready to start.

Nonsense, my dear. l'm absolutely ready.

Hey-ho, hey-ho, to work we go!

ls there anything you'd like us to do...

well, hold hands or anything?

All that will come later.

First, a few deep, deep breaths of fresh air.

You may talk, if you wish.

lt won't disturb me in the least.

An excellent dinner, l congratulate you.

- The mousse wasn't quite right.

- lt looked hysterical, but tasted delicious.

- That cuckoo's very angry.

- l beg your pardon?

l said, that cuckoo was very angry. Listen.

How do you know?

Timbre.

No moon. That's as well, l think.

A mist rising from the marshes.

There's no need for me to light my bicycle lamp?

No-one's likely to fall over it?

- No. We're not expecting anyone else.

- Splendid.

Good night, foolish bird.

- You have a table?

- We rather thought that one might do.

l think the one there would be better.

Over here, Mr Condomine, please.

This is a moment that l always hate.

- Are you nervous?

- Yes.

- When l was a girl, l always used to be sick.

- How fortunate that you grew out of it.

Children are always much more prone to be sick

than grown-ups.

? Little Tommy Tucker sings for his supper

? What should he have

but brown bread and butter?

l despise that because it doesn't rhyme at all,

but Daphne loves it.

Who's Daphne?

- Madame Arcati's control. She's the little girl.

- Oh, yes, yes. Of course. l see.

- How old is she?

- Rising seven when she died.

MRS BRADMAN:
And when was that?

- February 6th 1 884.

A bit long in the tooth by now, l should think.

You should think, but l fear you don't,

at least, not profoundly enough.

Please forgive me.

l assure you, l'm deeply interested.

lt's of no consequence.

Now, will you all sit round the table, please,

and place your hands downwards on it.

Come, Mrs Bradman.

- What about the lights?

- All in good time, Mr Condomine.

Now, sit down, please.

? Diddily-dum-dum dum-dum dum-dum

? The fingers should be touching

That's better.

l presume that's the gramophone?

- Would you like me to start it for you?

- No, please stay where you are. l can manage.

What have we here? Brahms? Oh, dear me, no.

Rachmaninoff? Too florid.

Where's the dance music?

- They're the loose ones on the left.

- None of them are very new.

Daphne's really more attached to lrving Berlin

than to anyone else.

She likes a tune she can hum.

Oh, here's one. ''Always.''

- Always?

- What's the matter?

Er...nothing, darling. Nothing at all.

Now, there are one or two things l would like

to explain, so will you all listen attentively?

When the music begins,

l'm going to switch out the lights.

l may then either walk about the room for a little

or lie down flat.

ln due course, l shall draw up that stool

and join you at the table.

l shall place myself between you and your wife

and rest my hands lightly upon yours.

l must ask you not to address me

or move or do anything distracting.

- ls that quite clear?

- Perfectly.

l can't guarantee that anything will happen at all.

Daphne may be unavailable.

She had a head cold recently

and was rather under the weather.

On the other hand,

a great many things might occur.

One of you might have an emanation,

for instance,

or we might contact a poltergeist,

which would be destructive and noisy.

- ln what way destructive?

- They throw things, you know.

No, l didn't know.

- Now, are you ready to empty your minds?

- You mean, you want us to think of nothing?

Absolutely nothing. Concentrate on a space or

on a nondescript colour. That's the better way.

- l'll do my level best.

- Good work.

ORCHESTRA:
? Always

Lights!

Oh, dear.

ls there anyone there? ls there anyone there?

One rap for yes.

Two raps for no.

ls there anyone there?

Oh.

ls that you, Daphne?

ls your cold better, dear?

Oh, l'm so sorry. Are you doing anything for it?

l'm afraid she's very fretful.

ls there anyone there

who wishes to speak to anyone here?

Ah, now we're getting somewhere.

Oh, no, Daphne. Don't do that, dear.

You're hurting me. Daphne, dear, please!

Oh, be good, there's a dear child.

l am sorry.

You say there's someone there

who wishes to speak to someone here?

ls it me?

ls it Dr Bradman?

ls it Mrs Bradman?

ls it Mrs Condomine?

Oh, stop it, Daphne. Behave yourself.

ls it Mr Condomine?

There's someone who wishes to speak to you.

- Let 'em leave a message.

(Table rocks violently)

l really must ask you

not to be flippant, Mr Condomine.

Charles, how can you be so idiotic?

You'll spoil everything.

l'm sorry. lt just slipped out.

Do you know anyone

who has passed over recently?

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