Block-Heads

Synopsis: It's 1938, but Stan doesn't know the war is over; he's still patrolling the trenches in France, and shoots down a French aviator. Oliver sees his old chum's picture in the paper and goes to visit Stan at the Soldier's Home. Thinking Stan is disabled (it's just that he's sitting on his leg), Oliver takes pity on him and takes him home for a nice home-cooked meal. But Oliver's wife has other ideas and leaves him to fend for himself. After blowing up the kitchen, Oliver is helped by his next-door neighbor, Mrs. Gilbert... until the big-game hunting Mr. Gilbert comes home unexpectedly, carrying a shotgun.
Genre: Comedy, War
Director(s): John G. Blystone
Production: MGM
 
IMDB:
7.7
APPROVED
Year:
1938
57 min
178 Views


- One more minute and we'll be going over.

- The men are ready, sir.

Private Laurel.

You stay here and guard this post

until relieved from duty.

Gee, I wish I was going with you.

Take care of yourself.

Don't worry about me, Stan.

I'll be back. We'll all be back.

So long, pal.

(Heavy gunfire)

(Gunfire stops)

(Jazzy bugle call)

(Aircraft humming)

You brainless idiot!

What are you trying to do?!

- Put that thing down!

- War is war and I've got my orders.

- What orders?

- To guard this post.

You block-head!

The war's been over for 20 years.

It doesn't make any difference.

When I'm told to do something...

- What d'you say?

- The war's been over for 20 years.

Eh?

The war's been over for 20 years!

Ha! How time flies.

Just seems like yesterday.

- What d'you say?

- You heard me.

- Well, that accounts for it.

- Accounts for what?

Everything's been kinda quiet lately.

Come with me. I'll see that you get home.

War's been over for...

Well, it's better than staying here.

Thanks very much. Are you sure

the war's been over for 20 years?

Positively. I can prove it to you.

If it isn't, somebody's going

to get into an awful jam.

Paper! Morning paper!

Were the eggs done enough

this morning, dear?

Is there anything else, dear?

I almost burned my finger

on the bacon this morning.

My love, you've got something

on your mind.

You can't fool your baby Oliver.

Oh, Oliver! You don't even remember

what happened a year ago today.

Was that the day I fell off the bicycle?

No, Oliver. Now just try to think.

It had something to do with you and me.

I give up. I can't quite remember

what you mean.

Unless it was the day

we got married... That's it!

It was just a year ago today

that you came into my heart.

How could I forget?

Congratulations, Mrs Hardy.

Of course I didn't forget.

We'll celebrate. We'll have a party.

Oh, Oliver!

How I've looked forward to this day.

I planned a dinner just for the two of us,

as I did a year ago tonight.

- You're so sweet and I'm such a cad.

- No, you're not.

We'll do anything your little heart desires.

We'll have a nice quiet dinner

and after that, we'll sit and hold hands

and I'll whisper sweet nothings

in your ear.

Oh, Oliver!

This is wonderful. And you are so wonderful.

Could I have an extra dollar

with my allowance?

Isn't 75 cents a day enough for you?

Usually it is but today is different.

I wish you wouldn't ask me what I'm

going to do with it. It's to be a surprise.

Oh, Oliver, of course.

You can have a dollar

and 25 cents more... today.

There's one more thing.

Do you mind if I use the car?

I'll only be gone one hour.

Of course not.

But be careful and hurry right back.

Thank you. I won't even say goodbye,

my precious little Fig Newton.

I'll just say, pardon me for one hour.

And make that hour short.

(Whistles merrily)

- Good morning, Mrs Gilbert.

- Good morning, Mr Hardy.

Gorgeous day, isn't it? Bright, cheerful.

- It's a lovely day.

- This is quite a day for me.

My anniversary... and Mrs Hardy's too.

- Oh, how nice! Congratulations.

- Thank you.

I have reason to celebrate. Mr Gilbert is due

back after two months hunting in Africa.

Oh, fine! Then we both have a reason

to celebrate. Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- Oh. It's all right. I'll get them.

Hello, darling. This is Mr Hardy.

My husband, Mr Gilbert.

How do you do?

You came back unexpectedly.

Yes. You see, we were holding hands...

We were shaking hands

and the newspapers fell out.

Well, I guess we can get up now.

I guess we'd better be going. Goodbye.

I'm glad to have seen you.

Excuse me. My mistake. I'm sorry.

Oh. There you are.

Goodbye. Oh... Goodbye, Mr Gilbert.

- And who is that snake?

- Mr Hardy. He's our neighbour.

Come in, dear.

It's so nice to have you home.

Good morning, James.

What's the news this morning?

A fella stayed in the trenches

20 years after the war.

- He didn't know it was over!

- How could anyone be so stupid?

I don't know. Here's his picture.

I can't imagine anybody being that dumb.

Oh, yes, I can!

(Deep voice) Out, please.

- (Deep voice) Thank you.

- Quite all right, sir.

Down, please.

(Bang)

(Crashing)

I don't see him just now but you'll

find him on the grounds somewhere.

Thank you.

- Ollie!

- Stan! Don't get up now. Sit right there.

- How did you know I was here?

- I saw your picture in the paper.

- How did I look?

- You haven't changed a bit.

Neither have you. If I hadn't have seen you,

I never would have known you.

- Gee, I'm glad to see you.

- I'm glad to see you too.

- Have you missed me?

- I certainly have.

I missed you too.

How's things and everything?

Everything's just fine. I got married.

You don't tell me? Who d'ya marry? Fifi?

- No.

- Er, Lulu?

- No.

- Camille?

- No.

- I know. Fanny.

No. You wouldn't know her.

She's a local girl.

Wait till you meet her. She's one

of the finest women that ever lived.

- Don't tell.

- And can she cook!

- Can she?

- Can she?

Wait till you put your legs

under that table... Pardon me.

Wait till you put your leg under that table

and put your teeth into a big, thick,

juicy steak covered with mushrooms

and those hot biscuits

oozing with molten butter.

And those seven-layered chocolate cakes

swimming in whipped cream.

- Any beans?

- You can have beans if you want.

- You can have anything you want.

- (Bugle call)

It was nice of you to call, Ollie.

I hope you'll come see me again sometime.

I've got to be going.

- Where are you going?

- It's call for mess. I've got to eat.

You're coming home with me

to meet the missus.

- Am I?

- And have a big, thick, juicy steak.

- Thank you, Ollie.

- You're welcome.

I want you to remember -

from now on, my home is your home.

- Thank you, Ollie.

- You're welcome.

And I'm never going to let you

out of my sight again.

- Thank you, Ollie.

- You're welcome.

Just sit back and relax.

I'm sure glad to see you, kid.

Gee, Ollie. This is just like old times.

You and I being together.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

- We sure used to have a lot of fun.

- We sure did.

- You remember how dumb I used to be?

- Yeah.

- I'm better now.

- I'm certainly glad to hear it.

- Will you wait a minute, Ollie?

- Why?

- I want a drink of water.

- You sit right there. I'll get it.

- I only want to get to the faucet.

- How can you get there?

You just sit and relax. I'll be right back.

Hey! Come on, lug. Get outta that chair.

What do you mean insulting my friend?

That's my buddy's chair.

I'll give it to you when I'm ready.

- Is that so?

- Yes, that's so.

Well, are you ready to give it to me?

On second thought, yes.

Don't exert yourself, Stanley. I'll carry you.

Are you comfortable?

Thank you, Stanley.

We haven't got much further to go now.

- Well, here we are.

- Is this your car?

No, it belongs to the missus.

- Sure is a pretty one.

- It's practically new.

Look, you can see yourself in it.

That's... No, I got it. That way.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Charley Rogers

Charley Rogers (15 January 1887 – 20 December 1956) was an English film actor, director and screenwriter, best known for his association with Laurel and Hardy. He appeared in 37 films between 1912 and 1954. He also directed 14 films between 1929 and 1936. He was born in Birmingham, Warwickshire, England and died in Los Angeles, California, USA, following injuries sustained in an automobile accident. more…

All Charley Rogers scripts | Charley Rogers Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Block-Heads" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/block-heads_4270>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    Which film production company made the film Shrek?
    A Pixar Animation Studios
    B Walt Disney Animation Studios
    C DreamWorks Animation
    D Blue Sky Studios