Bloody Homecoming Page #5

off your dress

your misery is a felony

you look

the other way instead

your honoraries

will carry me

from what is beating you

to death

Where the hell were

you during the game, huh, boy?

You wouldn't let me play, coach.

Why should I dress up?

You get your damn grades up,

and I'll get you

back on the damn field.

Until then, you show up and

support your team, understood?

Yeah.

Well, whatever.

What can I get for you, Larry?

A smile would be nice.

Fat chance.

Now, how is that

to treat an old lover?

Old lover?

I would hardly call

a drunken one-night stand

anything other than

a momentary lapse of judgment.

Why?

You don't like me anymore?

No. I don't.

In fact, I never really did.

My philosophy is,

if I could have you once,

I can have you again.

Well, my philosophy

is that, if you don't get out

of my personal space right now,

that I'm gonna shove that ladle

so far up your ass

you're gonna be blowing punch

out of your nose

until next homecoming.

All right. All right.

I can take a hint.

I watch these streets go by

we've been down this very road

before, I'm sure

but you said

your misery is your enemy

and this fight

is what goes on

pride, indeed,

is the casualty

and that's what's beating you

to death

If there's

a spill, I'll page you.

Otherwise, stay out of sight.

You spook the kids.

Uh, yeah.

I got to tell you, principal.

Some of them...

some of them kids got in,

and they taped tampons all over

the freshmen hall decorations.

Well, then get

in there and take them down.

Oh.

Cassie,

we need all the nominees

backstage, dear.

Wade, we need you, too.

All right, guys.

Wish me luck.

Good luck.

Do you think she'll win?

Come on.

She's a shoo-in.

Are you okay?

What's wrong?

Don't worry about all of this.

It doesn't really matter.

Even if you don't win,

you're still my queen.

I know, but this is

so important to me, you know?

I mean, this is

probably the best thing

that will ever happen to me.

Honey, honey, honey, whoa.

Hold on a second.

The best thing

that ever happened to you?

See, that's crazy.

You got your whole life

ahead of you.

You're gonna graduate

and go to college

and get out of this dumpy town.

No, wade.

I won't.

Mom's malignant.

She has six months, tops.

And besides, someone has to stay

and take care of grams.

With my piece-of-sh*t dad gone,

there's no one else.

Cassie, I think your mom

would still want you

to go to college

and make a life for yourself.

She does.

But she won't even be here

in six months.

So it doesn't matter.

But it's not so bad, right?

I mean, you're gonna stay

and open Winston's first salon

and spa anyway, right?

- So we can...

but, Cassie,

that's only

because my folks are loaded

and I can afford

that kind of luxury.

Yeah. Well, I can't,

and neither can my grandma.

Yes.

Yes, you can.

Do you want to know why?

Because I'm gonna be here

to take care of old grams.

What?

Wade, that's ridiculous.

No.

No, it's not.

I love your grams.

Besides, you're gonna be

like two hours away.

You can come and visit

on the weekends.

Wade, I can't ask you to.

Cassie, you didn't.

Wade, it's time, dear.

We'll talk more

about this later, okay?

For now, wipe away those tears.

You're ruining your mascara.

Attention, everyone.

May I have your attention,

please?

And welcome to Winston high's

first homecoming dance

in three years.

And now that special moment

you've all been waiting for.

Let's bring out the nominees.

Whoo, whoo!

Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!

And here to announce

this year's

homecoming king and queen,

student-body president

wade Scott.

This is stupid.

Classic.

Thank you, principal Patterson.

And now, without further ado,

I give you this year's king cat.

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Um, this is interesting.

I think

this might be the first time

that we've ever rewarded

a student

for being a senior twice.

On his second go-around

as a Winston senior,

your homecoming king,

Allen Mathis.

And now for the real moment

you've all been waiting for.

Time to crown the biggest whore.

Cheryl,

you weren't even nominated.

Oh.

Go ahead, girlfriend.

'Cause after the day

that I've had,

I would love for somebody

to throw the first punch.

First, I would like

to take this moment

to say that this year's

homecoming queen

is an exemplary form

of character, beauty,

and intelligence.

Her ambition is gonna bring

her far beyond this fair town

and to a destiny

beyond which, well...

There will be no limits.

I give your queen,

Cassie Herron.

Thank you so much,

Winston high.

You are a God among men,

wade Scott.

If you were straight, I'd snatch

you up in a heartbeat.

Whoa. Wait.

How did you know?

Wade, I've known you

since kindergarten.

I think I know you pretty well.

Point taken.

But I do have a secret

- that I bet you don't know.

- Yeah?

I'm actually

kind of seeing someone.

Shut the sh*t up.

Who?

Um...

Really?

Press-box boy?

But Chris Masterson is so...

Butch?

I know, right?

Good job.

I believe this calls

for a celebration.

Indeed.

Uh... Sh*t.

I, uh, left the vodka

in the teachers' lounge.

It's okay.

We don't need it.

Are you kidding me?

I can't just leave it in there.

Well, then let's go get it.

No, no, no.

You stay here and enjoy

your palace and the peasants.

And I'll be right back, okay?

Would you mind

taking over for me?

Sure.

I need to head

to the ladies' room.

Mm.

Russell, you all right?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

Yeah.

Where did I put

that bottle of happy juice?

That's my balloon, a**hole.

Is this some kind of joke?

Oh. You're the jackass

who stole the spirit Baton

from the senior class.

Hand it over.

What the hell, man?

Aah!

Damn kids!

Congratulations, your highness.

I think someone needs

to lay off the punch, drunkie.

- What?

- The punch is spiked?

Yes.

Old faithful here poured

the whole damn bottle in it.

Wait.

The bottle wade brought?

- Yeah. Why?

- Oh, no.

He just went to go get it.

Oh, well, just text him

and tell him to hurry back

so it's not all gone.

I left my phone in the car.

Oh, no. It's fine.

I'll text him.

Actually, don't.

I'm gonna go and find him.

We need to have

some quick girl talk.

I need to get the scoop

on his new man.

What?

He's out?

As of about five minutes ago.

I mean, I kind of

helped him along.

But don't say anything

until he tells you himself.

Okay? Promise?

Wow.

Good for him.

Mm-hmm.

- It's about time, man.

I know, right?

Hey, you guys guard

that punch bowl with your lives

until we're back.

Understand?

Yes, ma'am, your highness.

Good lord.

One little tiara,

and suddenly she owns the place.

Punch, anyone?

Wade?

Wade?

Sh*t!

- Aah!

- What are you doing?

Someone's after me!

He's trying to kill me!

Let go!

Stupid kid.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

I don't think so, buddy.

Steve, you need to slow down.

You are about tore up right now.

Cassie and wade have been

gone for a while, haven't they?

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