Blue Crush Page #2

Breakfast? Right. Sorry, girls. $17.53.

This has corn syrup in it.

It's a vegetable. It's nutritional.

No. It has sugar. It turns into fat.

And fat comes out like me. Okay?

So, $17.53. All right, I've got five.

- How much do you have?

- I got some cash.

- Hold on, I got, like...

- What is this?

I don't know, like 70, 60...

That's pathetic. What is that?

I didn't say I had a lot. I said I had some.

What happened to the five bucks

I gave you yesterday?

I bought food for Sammi.

It's not even our dog.

Dog's gotta eat. So do I. I'm hungry.

- Eat the rest of this Twinkie.

- I don't want it. I want breakfast.

- Twinkie is breakfast. -

It's Keala Kennelly. She's living the life.

Must be here for the contest.

Check thosejet skis out.

- So fine.

- All right, let's fill these bad boys.

Let's get on it. It's gonna be a busy day.

She's with her Billabong sponsor.

Introduce yourself. No.

Why not? It's not weird.

Because it's weird.

Yes. No.

- Hi. Can we have your autograph?

- Yeah, sure.

I'll get you a pen. Thanks.

Hey, I remember this shot. What a life.

She gets a grand every time she's in a magazine.

Five grand every time she's on the cover.

- You surf?

- Yeah.

She gets free clothes,

boards, watches, sunglasses.

The girl doesn't have to open her wallet.

You score one good wave at Pipe Masters...

and you'll get sponsored just like her.

You'll get flown all around the world.

Surf Indo, Australia, Tahiti, you name it.

Surf the world, baby. And you'll get paid

to surf uncrowded, perfect waves.

We'll see you at the contest.

Okay. Thanks a lot.

All you need to do is get noticed.

- Surfer girls.

- Local girls.

You know you're just as good as her.

We gotta go to work, guys.

We're gonna be late, again.

Girls, you're late. I know. Sorry.

- -

Sorry.

As a reminder, our Pro Bowl

guests are arriving today.

They are V.I.P. returning guests and

deserve the highest level of service.

You must remember we depend on our guests...

for the survival of our business.

It's like this one packed for

Vegas and landed in Hawaii instead.

- I'm putting it on. -

Guys, guys, it's up, it's up.

Look, Anne Marie Chadwick.

Look at the picture.

Sh*t. "A wild card entry.

This North Shore local first gained notice

when she dominated in thejunior NSSA. "

You dominated. No.

Wait. You're wearing my bathing suit bottoms.

"She dropped out of the competitive

circuit after a near-drowning incident."

- Yeah, they love bringing that up, huh?

- That was three years ago.

It's over with. You're gonna go pro,

and you're gonna win this thing.

- I want to be on the Internet. Oh, crap!

- Oh, my God.

- Hello? Is somebody in there?

Be there... I'm stuck.

- Put your shoes on.

- Help me, I'm stuck.

- Help me. Ow! Ow!

- Hello? Anyone in there?

- Where's my dress?

- Will you open this door?

- One second. Be right with you.

- Shoes.

Open this door right now.

I'm not fooling around.

- Oh, my shoes.

- Why was this door locked?

I'm sorry. It gets stuck. Maintenance will come up

and look at it any second.

- What's going on in here?

- Just cleaning up.

We're picking up the clothes.

What happened to all the clothes that was on the floor?

We fold them up and put them on the bed.

I left the clothes on the floor so that

you would know they need to be dry-cleaned.

That's actually why we had the

dry-cleaning bags for that specific purpose.

Then why don't you put them in the bag?

No problem. That's a cute top.

Like, I need for you guys to put all

of my crusty clothes inside of the bag.

What about the bags in her b*obs?

Her b*obs are as big as my head.

And I have one big head.

Excuse us.

Don't mind us.

- Football players.

- Excuse us. - It's all right.

What?

Paddle, paddle, paddle.

Look at that. They're beautiful.

All right, next time, you're paddling.

How about you take a sweet, luscious

run right about now? Oh, yeah, I don't think so.

You can go for it though.

You're the one in training, not me.

Do you smell that?

Beer's gone.

Oh, damn it. Penny?

Pen!

Pen?

Penny?

Frickin' pain in my royal ass! God!

Yeah. Yeah. Stop it. Stop.

Let go. Let go. You too good for us?

Penny. Penny, get up. Get up.

We're going home.

- I'm not going with you.

- It's not a request.

Go away. Leave me alone.

- Get up. Penny, get up.

- Leave me alone.

- Get out of my face.

- I'm not kidding. - Stop.

- Penny!

- Stop! Leave me alone! Get off me!

You're such a b*tch! Get off me!

- Why can't you leave me alone?

- 'Cause I'm all you have.

- I'm all you have.

- I don't want you! I don't care!

You're the one who made Mom leave!

You were screwing up all the time!

You know what, fine.

Fine. Chill out.

- We're over this. Turn the music up.

- You all right?

Thanks for the ride.

I shouldjust send her to military school.

Shave her head.

That ought to send a message.

You guys are such hypocrites.

We totally partied at her age.

We did not.

We were not 14. More like 12.

Whose fault is that?

You guys were supposed to be my examples.

What? Oh, please?

Like we forced you during freshman year to climb

the rain gutter at the Volcom house...

and steal their rum. Oh, sh*t.

I don't remember that.

Don't worry about it.

We turned out fine, right?

Housekeeping. Housekeeping.

Oh, sh*t! Ohh!

Aw, that reeks. What is that?

What is that smell? I'm not...

I'm not doing this.

- What is that smell?

- Freakin' nasty, that's what it is.

- It reeks in this room.

- This royally sucks.

- Oh, my God.

- All right. Let's just get started.

Oh, sick.!

What? Ohh.!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! That...

- I'm not cleaning that up.

- We have to do it.

- I'm not cleaning it.

- We got to get it done. - It's so sick.

No-neck pigs. Ohh!

Help me make the bed, Lena.

Football players are so nasty.

I don't even know where to start.

They think they can do anything.

This is ridiculous.

Oh, sick!

- What?

- Get it off, Anne Marie!

It's stuck! It's not coming off!

- What is it?

- It's a condom.

- Grab it! It's stuck!

- No, don't touch it.!

Get it off! Get it off! Get it off.

- Anne Marie, get it off!

- Put some gloves on.

- Oh, get it off!

- Just relax.

I can't get it if you're friggin' tossing around.

Nasty. Oh, my God!

Ohh.!

Oh, sick!

Ohh.!

You know what? That's it.

Ooh, wedding and honeymoon in the same place?

Let's go snorkeling. I am not snorkeling

with this hair. Give me a break.

Those masks leave the worst marks on your face.

There's, like, a hundred people spit in them.

Anybody in room 215?

Gentlemen, 2 15?

Anybody in room 215?

No? Anybody in room 215 out in the water?

What?

Suite 215? Is it yours?

Oh.

Ohh! God!

Jump!

I swear to God that's a condom.

I'm in 2 15. I think I won something.

I'm in 215. What'd I win?

Hi. I'm Anne Marie.

I'm the housekeeper of your room.

Leslie. O-line! O-line!

Do you have a sec, Leslie? Sure.

Take all the time you want, sugar-wooger.

Step one.

Step two.

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