Blue in the Face Page #4

with the African first.

Black people first, always.

- Rolex.

- Rolex, baby. It's the real deal lizard skin.

- Where'd you get this?

- Don't you worry yourself about that, baby.

I got the goods.

You ain't got to worry about that.

You're gonna sell this Rolex

for 20, 25, 30, 40, 50? What is it?

- African price... $25.

- What does that mean, African price?

I'm not from Africa.

There are 872,702

African Americans.

412,906 Jewish people.

462,4ll Hispanic people

livin' in Brooklyn.

There ain't one black person

even hangin' around this neighborhood.

- What're you doing here, man?

- My name is Tommy Fennili. That's my name.

Tommy Fennili.

Oh, yo! Tommy Fennili.

Are you from Brooklyn or somethin'?

This guy! Please, guys!

Why you hangin' out in this neighborhood?

Crown Heights, Howard Beach.

- We're in Brooklyn, man. Brooklyn!

- This is my neighborhood.

- West Side, do or die. That's where I'm from.

- This is my neighborhood.

- Your neighborhood. How'd you get the name Fennili?

- I'm from Italy.

- From Italy?

- My father's Italian, my mother's black.

You ain't even... What's that?

Mulatto? You ain't no mulatto.

- You're as black as me, man.

- Hey, hey. Come on.

Wait. How do you know

what I am?

- I'll tell you this, black man.

- You're assuming.

- I'll tell you this, black man. I'll tell you this, my brother.

- No. Wait a minute.

My brother Fennili,

I'll tell you this.

- Calm down. Get real with me. Talk to me.

- Excuse me.

- I'm gonna take a seat over here.

Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.

- He's not gonna buy one.

- Chill, chill, chill. Excuse me, sir.

Timex, Rolex,

Casio, Seiko.

Whatever you want,

I got it for yo.

- Yo. Come on, man. I'm tryin' to sell these.

- Hey, Vinny.

I'm trying to sell these

watches. The problem is...

I'm trying to sell these

watches 'cause I'm really a rapper.

That's my thing. I rap. Y'all like rap

music? You probably don't like it.

- You're a rapper?

- You probably ain't into rap music either.

I'm trying to get some equipment.

You wanna buy a watch?

- My heart is heavy with song.

- What?

- I got a feeling called a blue-ue lonesome

- Oh, God.

- Since my baby said good-bye

- Oh, no.

And Lord, I don't know

what I'd do-o-o

- All I do is sit and sigh-igh - Hold on.

What's up with... What're you, Puerto Ricans?

You black. Playin' Billy Ray Cyrus.

What's up with this neighborhood?

- Billy Ray who?

- Y'all wanna be white. That's the problem.

- Playin' that... Whatever that is.

- What do you want to hear?

- This guy is good.

- Where're you from?

- Bed-Stuy.

- He doesn't know where he's from.

I was from Africa. But in case you didn't

remember, they stole us from Africa.

- Black man Fennili.

- I got a Bed-Stuy too.

I stole you from Africa?

Can I give you back?

I couldn't have been

unhappier...

in the eight years I spent

growing up in Brooklyn.

But I say that, uh...

not having realized what it would

then be like being on Long Island...

which was infinitely worse.

And if there was probably

a childhood trauma that I had...

other than

the Dodgers leaving Brooklyn...

which if you think about it is a reason

why some of us are imbued with a cynicism...

that we never recovered from,

obviously you're not a Mets fan...

and you can't possibly be

a Yankee fan.

So baseball's eliminated

from your life...

because of being born

in Brooklyn.

- You cared about the Dodgers as a kid?

- Very much.

I don't know why.

I don't like baseball.

Of course, maybe I don't like baseball

because the Dodgers aren't here anymore.

These days if you said the Dodgers,

no one knows what you're talking about.

They think you're talking about Los Angeles.

And I don't mean the Los Angeles Dodgers.

But, uh, Long Island was terrible.

Absolutely terrible.

I mean, at least Brooklyn

you could walk around.

- I'm from Brooklyn, man.

- Just relax.

- You got some Brooklyn tune?

- Yeah.

Arriba.! Arriba.!

I told you, right? Hey!

- Here you go.

- Yeah, man.

Smoke Sen-Sen

Smoke, smoke

- Let me hold it a second.

- Oh, you play?

- Yeah, man.

- Sells watches. Plays.

That's right. Gotta hustle.

Told you.

Yee-hah!

Check it, check it Check it out

Come buy my watches

I got the clock

I got the time I got the rhyme

Black man, black man

You're outta your mind

Sittin' over here

on your black behind

Sittin' in the chair

White man over there

Stares at me

without a care

I know you don't care but

it's like... Oh, yo. Whatever, man.

My favorite thing

about Brooklyn is...

that every nationality

in the world is in Brooklyn.

The least favorite thing is that

all of these nationalities...

we have not

been able to get along.

There are 3,268,121...

potholes in Brooklyn.

You know, I think a lot of people start

smokin' because it's glamorized...

like Hollywood

and the movies, you know?

You see Marlon Brando,

you see James Dean smokin' a cigarette.

- Marlene Dietrich.

- That's how I started smoking. I started smokin' 'cause...

when I was a boy, a teenager, I saw this

great movie called A Walk in the Sun.

- You ever see it?

- No.

Richard Conte, um...

Oh. Who was the other guy?

I forget his name. Anyway...

they're on the campaign in Europe,

it's World War II and they're in the army.

Richard Conte's a machine gunner and he has

his assistant who carries bullets and all that.

Or he carries the machine gun. As they're

walkin' down the road on to the next battle...

Richard Conte would be philosophizing

about life and he'd go, "Butt."

He never had any cigarettes, and his partner

would always go... And give him a cigarette.

And somehow, the way Richard Conte

would be walkin' in the sun...

carryin' a machine gun

and go, "Butt,"

it made me want to smoke.

- I used to do it to my friends in the pool room.

- Yeah?

I go..."Butt." They go,

"Get the f*** outta here. Butt."

Speakin' of movies,

I was thinkin' too, this is unrelated...

but I was watchin' TV

the other night...

and in Japan and

there was some movie on.

Why is it in every movie

there's a shootout...

and when they run out

of bullets, they like "click, click."

They fling the gun away like it's

a disposable cigarette lighter.

What's up with that? Guns cost a lot

of money. Can't you reload it?

You know what I'm saying? They always

like... click. They throw the gun out.

- That's a good point.

- Another thing in movies I think is really weird.

Like war movies.

Nazis in movies?

- Why do they always smoke

in some weird way like this?

We have ways

of making you talk, Auggie.

Stop! It's like the threat of...

you know, burn torture.

Or it's like this.

Yeah. We know who you are.

We have seen what you've done.

The f***ed up thing

is like you go to Hollywood now...

they got us hooked on cigarettes,

you know, this image of glamour.

You go out there now,

you can't smoke anywhere.

You light up after a meal

in a restaurant.

They come over. "I'm sorry, sir.

Smoking's prohibited by law in restaurants."

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