Blue Jay Page #4

[piano music playing]

[Jim] Honey I'm home.

Hi, sweetheart.

You have to close

your eyes.

Please just stay

right up there,

do not come down here

and close your eyes.

[Jim] Why do I have

to close my eyes?

What's going on?

Because, it's a surprise.

Please sweetheart.

[Jim] Surprise, okay.

Did you have a good day,

Mr. Henderson?

Well, there's a lot to talk

about. How was your day Mrs.

Henderson?

I have something very exciting

to tell you as well.

Wow, that sounds like we

should have dinner and talk

about our day.

Do me a favor and please

be patient.

[Jim] Okay, I'm being patient,

I'm closing my eyes.

Keep them closed.

You know I'll do anything

for you Mrs. Henderson.

I'm counting on it.

Something smells delicious.

Hello.

Hello, Mrs. Henderson.

Hello, Mr. Henderson.

Keep your eyes closed

and come with me.

Okay.

-Come with me.

-Yes.

Hold on to the railing please.

-Okay.

-Okay.

It's very exciting.

-I love surprises.

-Tell me

all about your day at work.

Okay.

On the count of three

I want you to open your eyes.

Okay.

Okay, go for it.

One...

two...

three...

Oh, my God!

Look at this meal!

It's gorgeous.

You made all this?

You cooked all this?

Have you been taking

cooking classes on the sly?

-Maybe, Mr. Henderson.

-Oh my Gosh!

Mrs. Henderson this meal

is beautiful, it's elegant...

Very French, Mr. Henderson.

But, I have a question.

What's the special occasion?

I can't believe

you forgot.

-What?

-Mr. Henderson?

[whispers]

Cinemax.

Happy 20th anniversary lover.

Of course I didn't forget,

I was just playing.

Happy anniversary sweetheart.

There you are.

-Let's eat.

-Let's eat.

These eggs are really something.

Really?

And the noodles,

are they Asian?

They're really fantastic.

Yes that I slaved over

for a very long time they're

very hard to make.

Very hard to make.

You can really taste

it in there.

How is your day,

sweetheart?

Well, Glen Donovan

was added again honey.

Glen Donovan, he's always

giving you such a hard time

I don't know if I can take

another day with him I mean it's

good stable income

until your career

takes off of course but...

Well, it's very funny

that you should mention

that because I got a very

exciting phone call today.

You did? What was your

phone call?

I got a call today,

saying I got the opening slot.

Opening... you got

the opening slot.

I am going to open for...

-Oh, no.

-Oh, yes.

Oh very seriously.

Are you going to be the first

female white rapper

to open for public enemy?

I knew it! I knew you

could do it honey.

Mrs. Henderson

they loved your demo.

They loved my demo.

They thought is was so fresh

I'm so impressed

come here.

Cheers to you

Mrs. Henderson.

I can't believe it. Oh, no.

[slurping]

But you'll be on tour and I'll

miss you and I'll be so sad.

What do we do about that?

What do you think

about saying...

f*** you!

to Glen Donovan?

I do it inside of my head

everyday darling, I'd love

to say it out loud.

[Amanda coughs]

Tell me what you have?

Tell me.

Okay, but you promise

not to laugh.

I won't laugh.

I would never laugh

at you honey.

I think you could be really,

really romantic.

And also an opportunity

to kinda like...

find ourselves

and be adventurous.

we rent an RV...

-Can I drive?

-You can drive.

Can we get matching hats?

We can get matching hats.

Laminated maps.

We'll go from town to town,

exploring things

and sleeping outside...

Rapping by night.

Rapping by night.

-Adventuring during the day.

-Yes.

We're gonna go looking

for hot springs.

Hot springs and zip lining

and weird food...

-And we can go

all over the country.

-diarrhea

We'll see all our people.

We'll see all our

favorite people.

All our friends and people who

use to live here and moved away

and Jessica and Jason

will come and visit us.

It will be so magical.

Don't you think?

-Honey?

-What?

If you don't want to do it,

we don't have to do it,

I think it could

be really romantic.

Now you listen to me,

you son of a b*tch.

[laughing]

This is the greatest thing

that's ever happened to us.

-Honey.

-What?

I got eggs on your beard.

You got some eggs

on my beard?

It's okay.

It's okay, you know why?

Honey that was really funny.

But in all seriousness hon...

you are...

a brilliant planner,

you're a wonderful cook.

-Sweetheart.

-you're the greatest...

rap artist I've ever known.

It's the only true

thing you just said.

And I think

it's time for me...

to unveil my

anniversary surprise.

You didn't.

I did.

You didn't.

I did.

You didn't.

[giggling]

I did.

Watch the one eyebrow raise,

watch this happen.

You're not doing it honey.

There it is. Nailed it.

Not at all.

-Yes too.

-You have to do this, no.

Did I do it?

Well, now it's...

try again with something else.

I'm really sorry

I got egg on you, honey.

It's a very sweet thing

after all these years

you can still make

me laugh like that.

-Twenty years.

-Twenty years.

Let me give you

your surprise.

Jim, did you really

do something?

I did.

Jim.

Jim, Jim... [chuckles]

[whispering]

Jim, what are you doing?

[ No More I Love You's playing]

You're leaving me

here for Jesus?

You know it.

Catholic school forever.

[imitating lyrics]

That's so good.

d I used to be woebegoned

d So restless nightsd

d My aching heart would bleedd

d For you to seed

d Oh but now...d

d I don't find myself

Bouncing home Whistling

Buttonhole tunesd

d To make me cryd

d No more I love you'sd

d The language is leaving me

In silenced

d No more I love you's...d

Hey, Mrs. Henderson

Hello Mr. Henderson.

It's a very good present.

d

I'm okay.

Okay?

I'm all right.

I got this.

I think our prom...

Oh, it's really long song.

Surprised, your attention

span lasts long enough.

I know.

Song's damn good.

d Changes are shifting

Outside the wordd

d Outside the wordd

Yeah, there it is.

That was a very nice touch.

What's next?

[upbeat music playing]

[Amanda] Oh yeah!

-Here...

-Let's go!

[screaming]

Backwards, this is how.

[screaming]

Yeah.

Pop.

Jump, jump.

[moaning]

[giggling]

Yeah, okay.

Enough with the moaning.

Enough of that,

take it easy.

You know I was kidding

when I was on the rock

but seriously...

I don't want to punch

anybody as long as you rub

my head I'm good.

[moaning]

No, that means

it's ending don't

do that.

Don't do that.

I don't want

it to be over. No!

Yeah, that's

enough for you.

-No it's not.

-I think it is.

Keep going.

No, I'm not gonna

keep going, Jim.

I've done this for you

like a million times,

you've never done

it for me once.

Not once.

All right.

Stretch it out.

Are you kidding?

Could we please

get on with the rub?

I've waited very

long time for this.

You can't rush greatness, okay?

Take it easy, all right?

If you want to experience

the ancient art of phrenology,

you really need to wait

and get that right.

Come again?

Okay, well if you had seen

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