Blue Like Jazz

Do you know the difference

between being free

and being high?

Neither do I.

Back in Texas, I knew everything.

Because I'm from Texas.

But that was before

any of this happened.

It was a writing class

in junior college.

We were studying

the elements of story...

The acronym spells "sucker,"

sort of.

If you grew up in the setting of Houston

believing the Astrodome

was visible from space,

you, like me, are a sucker.

If your parents have a conflict

and your pothead father says,

"I'll never leave you, little man,"

you, like me, are a sucker.

And if it takes you 19 years of Sundays

to figure this out,

you, like me,

are a Southern Baptist.

A subtitle made possible by R3V0LV3R.

Hey, your mom asked me

to church on Sunday.

Something about going-away ceremony?

You want to come to that?

I do if I'm sitting next to your mom.

Aw, here we go.

She ain't cheatin' on me, is she?

Uh, these jokes never get old, Jordan.

No. I bet it's that Mexican gardener.

I seen him weed-whacking

outside your apartment,

taking his shirt off all slow,

like in the movies.

Like if there's a sprinkler on him.

Okay. I get the picture.

Hey, he's cute, man.

If I was your mom,

all hot and sex-starved,

I'd let him pop my tart.

Hey, party tonight at my house.

Wine, cheese, hot babes,

not that you'd be interested.

Ah, I got a thing at church.

Of course. Just 'cause you live there

doesn't mean you shouldn't

get out once in a while.

It's the junior high lock-in, man.

It goes all night.

Come on, bro. How we gonna celebrate

your last day on the job?

Ha ha! Follow me. Come on.

Jordan!

Jordan, come on, man!

We're in our street clothes!

You're gonna get us busted.

My best friend Don,

at the end of the line.

Salute.

Ha ha! Texas tea, brother.

Dude, not cool. Bro.

Oh, you want to dance?

- Seriously.

- Look at you.

- Don't mess around.

- Who said Baptists can't dance?

Jordan, I'm gonna

make you drink that.

I drink it all the time, bro.

Confess your sins to each other,

and pray for each other

so that you may be healed.

So does anybody need to be healed?

All right, now why don't we focus

on where it says,

"confess your sins."

Does anybody have anything

they need to confess? Anybody?

My family went to the beach,

and my dad took me out,

and a huge wave knocked me

out of his arms,

and he couldn't find me and stuff.

He actually saw something pick me up

out of the water and take me to him.

No way.

I've had experiences with angels.

It's awesome.

Ohh! Ohh!

Who wants more sugar?

Okay. All right.

Keep going. Keep going.

It's still going? Must be some party.

Who all's there?

Everybody.

Tons of girls.

Sorry, Jordo.

I'd come cheer you up,

but right after this,

I got breakfast with The Hobo.

Call you later.

I gotta go at 6:
00.

- You bring my communion cups?

- Factory fresh.

- They for tonight?

- Shh, shh.

When you find out,

it's gonna blow your mind.

So... got your car packed

- for the big, bad university?

- Yep.

Don't let 'em brainwash you, Donny.

Well, it is a Baptist college.

Yeah, but it's gotten way more liberal now.

I mean, when I used to go there,

the girls still had to wear heels,

keep their knuckles

from dragging the ground.

Don't tell my wife I said that.

All right, who wants Kool-Aid?!

Bebop?

You've been listening.

Yeah, when I'm not in the mood

for music, I put on jazz.

Life is like jazz, son.

Never resolves.

You get the going-away

present I sent you?

I read a few chapters.

- You guys still friends?

- Oh, yeah.

He just bought 30 acres

up in, uh, Oregon.

He's a good writer

for being full of crap.

Went to a good school.

Ever heard of Reed College?

Know what the average

IQ score is at Reed?

You want a beer?

I won't tell Jesus.

No, thanks.

So he's still connected at the school,

and when he told me

he could pull a few strings,

I, um...

You what?

I got you in, Donny,

at Reed.

You enrolled me?

For this term?

That's not how it works.

Well, took some finagling.

Even had to send 'em a deposit.

I already got a scholarship,

Trinity Baptist.

So you can get

a preaching degree

and make your mom happy?

A brain like that

working for a church?

You only believe that stuff 'cause you're

afraid to hang out with people who don't.

I'm going for the writing program.

Well, then go somewhere

they don't hand you the script

and tell you to copy it.

You hear that?

That's free-form.

Improvise.

Write your own damn story,

or that kook mom of yours

will write it for you.

Don't call her that.

Yeah, or I'll be "left behind", right?

Come on. Let me do this

for you, Donny.

Why now?

It's cheaper than having you

kidnapped and deprogrammed.

All those years you were

dodging child support...

our church paid for the groceries.

- Who's that one?

- Intern.

Thought you were on sabbatical.

That's why I only have one.

You want me to introduce you?

You got a girlfriend yet?

Hey, Lindsey,

my Baptist son here

needs some tutoring.

Dad.

Here comes Sunday morning.

You know what works

great with sunrise?

A Love Supreme, John Coltrane.

Pushes the sun right

out of the earth, huh?

They have no regard for Jesus.

These people have no regard

for common sense.

They hate Christianity.

Some of this they learn in the homes...

Good morning, Mama.

Rise and shine.

- What time is it?

- It's almost 8:
00.

I'll take the first shower.

You can sleep a little more, okay?

Breakfast!

Coming! Not too many bananas.

You have one message.

Seora, buenos noches.

Are you home?

Ah, bella muchacha,

are you awake, mi amor?

Sleep the sleep de los ngeles.

I'll see you maana.

" Yo te quiero infinito. "

" Yo te quiero infinito. "

" Yo te quiero, yo te quiero infinito. "

Message deleted.

You like it?

Is that new?

It's your big day.

Any calls?

Some Mexican guy

had the wrong number.

Hmm.

So how's your father?

Huh? You really want to know?

Not at all.

That's third night in a row

with the TV on.

Is that a record?

Keeps me company

when you're not around.

Everybody's been asking me,

what am I gonna do with myself

when you're gone.

Mom, it's not gonna be like that.

I'm barely leaving the zip code.

I'm sorry, Donny.

It's just hormones.

Is my mascara running?

You look beautiful, Mom.

And nothing's gonna change.

I'm always just a phone call away.

Ephesians 6:
11 tells us

to put on the full armor of God,

but wearing God's armor

isn't always easy, is it, Don?

No, sir.

Your friends may not think you're cool.

So when we dress you

in the full armor of God,

it's not just a fun,

little going-away gift.

It tells the world what, Don?

Romans 1:
16, sir.

"I'm not ashamed of the

Gospel of Christ."

Amen. Let's give him a hand, church.

Give it up.

Thank God. Appreciate it.

All right.

Now hold on. Hold on, folks.

Hold on.

Donny, Donny, not so fast, bro.

I'm gonna need my sidekick

for story time, kids.

Come on down as my lovely wife

tickles the organ.

Just gather round

right here in front of us.

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