Blue Like Jazz Page #8

Some of you have come

a long way to get here,

and I'm talking about

a geography of the heart.

But what you're looking for

is bigger than any church,

so this is the time in the service

when we get out of the way

so that you can speak to God directly...

and hopefully hear God speak to you.

Thought you were in Kashmir.

I got as far as Los Angeles,

and the embassy

stopped issuing visas.

Did you ever call your mom?

She said to give you a hug.

Amen.

The peace of the Lord

be always with you.

And also with you.

Right this way, Your Eminence.

Well, you look reasonably sober.

Yeah, you know.

Try it on.

Sweet.

All right, sit down.

And according to tradition,

I am to be your first confession,

so let's see.

Oh, I stole a condom

out of The Virgin's wallet.

Last night while he was passed out.

I figured he wasn't really

gonna be using it, so...

This is the part

where I say you're forgiven?

Uh-huh. Are you sure

you're up for this?

It's hard shoes to fill.

You were a well-loved Pope.

Ah. Kiss-ass.

Well, I'm going to leave you

to your flock.

Some of us are heading out

to the Grand Canyon in the morning

for a little, uh, summer trip,

so, um, I won't be seeing you.

Have a good time.

Congrats on graduating.

Yeah, well,

nine years well spent.

Hey.

Um, I forgot to ask you something.

Can you come back in just a minute?

I need to say...

I'm sorry.

Sorry for what?

I'm sorry for what might have

happened to you

when you were younger.

The priest.

I don't know.

I'm just sorry.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Can... Can you just sit back down?

There's a lot you don't know about me.

I come out of this subculture

that believes in God

and Jesus, the whole deal.

I came here to escape it,

because I was ashamed of it.

Well, you've done a hell of a job.

I'm very proud of you.

But it turns out that

I'm not just ashamed

of my strange church

or its political views

or all the hypocrites.

I'm ashamed of Jesus.

Is this gonna get weird?

Yeah, probably.

But that's the point.

I-I'm ashamed of Jesus

because I want you to like me.

I want you to think I'm smart

or sophisticated or whatever.

It's like Jesus is the geek

in the cafeteria sitting by himself,

and I'm the guy pretending

he's not my friend.

Miller, we're both tired.

You're The Pope now.

Do with it what you want.

That's not what I'm saying.

I'm talking to you as a person.

You and I both hate

those people who think they can do

whatever they want

because God is on their side, right?

Well, I'm apologizing,

because I'm the same as they are.

All that stuff in the Bible

about feeding the poor,

I've never done any of that.

God tells us to love everybody.

I've hated people...

my family,

folks back home I don't agree with,

idiot pastors.

I... I hated 'em

because I thought they made me

look like a fool.

I've spent the school year

trying to ditch God.

But I can't.

It's like He's following me around.

I'm confessing to you

that I'm tired of being a hypocrite

and a coward.

I need you to forgive me.

Do you forgive me?

I wouldn't know what

to forgive you for.

Do you forgive me

for misrepresenting God?

He isn't like me.

He isn't... He isn't afraid,

and He isn't a coward,

and He isn't a hypocrite,

and He isn't like

that messed-up priest

who raped you

when you were a kid.

I should have told you that

a long time ago.

Will you forgive me?

Yeah.

I forgive you.

It's good, Miller,

what you're doing.

It's a start.

You know, if everybody

out there in that line

gets the same treatment I did,

you are in for a long night.

Yeah, well,

so much to apologize for.

Maybe I'll start with the Crusades...

Yeah.

Then work my way through

to U.S. foreign policy.

Yeah.

You're gonna be here a while.

You really believe in all this stuff?

I think...

I do.

Then...

Dominus vobiscum.

My man.

Hey, guys, you are not

gonna want to miss this.

Come on, come on.

I'm sure that we got

a free space in line for you.

Hey, what's up?

Everybody in line,

saints and sinners.

Hey, hey, there's a line, man.

I have something to confess.

- Your, uh...

- Wait.

I'm going first.

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