Blue State

This land is your land

and this land is my land

From the California

to the New York island

From the redwood forest

to the Gulf Stream waters

This land was made

for you and me

As I went walking

that ribbon of highway

I saw above me

that endless skyway

I saw below me

that golden valley

Can I help you?

Hi, I'm John Logue

with the Kerry Campaign,

and we just wanna make sure

we get all the voters out there.

We have you listed

as a strong-leaning Kerry household.

I'm voting for Bush.

You are?

Sorry, no matter how many times

people say that to me,

I just can't get over it.

It's like I don't have the enzyme

to metabolize someone

actually saying that to me.

Sir, would you at least take this brochure

which helps explain why it is so important

to vote for John Kerry this year?

And why Bush is evil!

Hi, I'm John Logue

with the Kerry campaign.

Couldn't help but notice you have a Bush...

But the war in Iraq

makes us less safe at home.

And he sold it to the American people

on a boatload of lies.

Why don't you just let

your president do his job?

It's a democratic election, ma'am.

This president has made, I regret to say,

a colossal error of judgment,

and judgment is what we look for

in the president

of the United States of America.

Okay, I wanna make a solemn promise

with all of you here as my witnesses.

Now, he's not gonna win,

'cause we've done our job.

We know who's gonna win, right?

But if...

If George Dubya Bush gets elected

President for another four years,

I swear, I promise on my life,

that I will move to Canada!

No more Bush! No more Bush!

No more Bush!

I would not give up this fight if there

was a chance that we would prevail.

But it is now clear that even when

all the provisional ballots are counted,

there won't be enough outstanding votes

for us to be able to win Ohio.

And therefore, we cannot win this election.

Oh, I hate you. Oh, I hate you. I hate you.

My friends, it was here that

we began our campaign for the presidency,

and all we had was hope

and a vision for a better America.

Meanwhile, a jubilant

President Bush celebrated his victory.

The President spoke

of healing the divide in this country.

These words will go a long way.

And, Jeff, I think with this

kind of support, the President...

What were we thinking,

collectively as a nation?

I mean, the second it happened,

I said to myself, "Of course.

"There's no way Kerry was gonna win. "

'Cause half this country's so stupid

they voted for this evil, warmongering,

corrupt moron

with Dick Cheney's hand up his ass.

And the other half

has such a self-defeating

inferiority complex

that we nominated

this wooden, unelectable opportunist.

Man, it was close.

Sort of. Not really.

I was just so excited to see

what would happen to that look

on Bush's face

when he realized he was finished.

You know, he's got that look, that...

That kind of...

Curious George getting a bad hand job.

Now, what about your promise?

What promise?

Don't f***ing play dumb.

They knew I wasn't serious.

You swore on your life, John.

You were on the news.

It was local.

You swore on your life.

I'm not moving to f***ing Canada, Hal.

I'll see you later.

Hey, John, it's Matt. Pretty bummed.

I know how much this election meant

to you, man. I'm really sorry.

I mean, for all of us. For me. For all of us.

Thinking about hanging myself

or something. But, I don't know.

Oh, I'm thinking about going

to the movies around eightish.

If you wanna go, give me a call before then.

John, it's David. I just spoke to Hal,

and I heard what you're gonna do.

A bunch of us were gonna do something,

but you're really gonna do it.

Man, you're moving to Canada. Wow!

Oh, Canada!

John Logue is going to Canada

Hey, Craig, is she in?

Hey.

Hey.

Oh.

Bad day, huh?

It just feels like a different country.

Like, you can feel the depression in the air.

Oh, I know how hard you worked. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for all of us.

I've got bad news. If you're here

for your old job back, it's gone.

What?

DigiHouse cancelled

their account yesterday.

They what?

Yeah, they decided to go

with a more conservative approach.

They're moving their operations

to Nashville.

Oh, this is unbelievable.

Hey, I thought that blogging thing

was really taking off for you,

you know, with the election and all.

Have you been reading it?

Yeah...

Angry Donkey.

Thedonkeyrevolution. Com.

Right. Well, I checked it

a couple of weeks ago.

I'm sorry.

Look, I will let you know

if I hear of anything.

Maybe we can grab a drink this week.

I thought...

Did you give any more thought

to, you know, us?

John, I...

What is that?

I know.

I've been meaning to talk to you.

I thought we were

just taking some time off.

Well, you didn't even want to talk

while you were away.

I was focused on the campaign.

I thought now was the time

we were gonna discuss us.

Well, how long

was I supposed to wait, John?

Apparently, not that long.

Who is it?

Don't do this.

Do I know him?

Craig?

Craig?

Craig?

I'm sorry.

Okay, I should've told you sooner.

You think?

You've reached John Logue.

I'm off campaigning

for the future of America right now, so

leave a message and I'll get back to you

on November 3rd. And don't forget to vote.

Hello, John, I'm calling

from MarryACanadian. Ca

up here in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

That's in Canada.

And we're an organization set up

to help Americans establish roots here

after last week's tragic election.

We heard about what you're doing,

and we'd love to help.

So, give us a dingle at 204-555-7328,

and ask for Gloria. Thanks so much, then.

"Liberal ladies and gentlemen

of the US,

"now that George W. Bush will be with us,

tragically, for another four years,

"single American liberals

will be desperate to escape. "

Dude, I swear I didn't sign you up.

Then how'd they find me?

They didn't read it on your blog.

How do you know? Maybe they did.

Dude, nobody reads your stupid blog.

And besides...

Oh, screw you.

So, what's her name?

Oh...

Hello?

Hi, is this MarryACanadian. Com?

You mean dot C-A.

This is John Logue. Somebody

from your organization called me.

Oh, that was me. I'm so glad you called.

And you found my number how?

A friend of mine heard

from another friend of mine

who saw on TV that you were planning

on moving to Canada

if Bush won the election.

So, we thought we'd give you a ring.

What are you, the CIA?

No. Canada doesn't have

any invasive organizations like that.

We let people enjoy their privacy.

So, we've got people coming up

as soon as tomorrow.

Well, I haven't even decided if...

I haven't even decided if I'm going.

If you wanna come up here,

we'd be more than happy

to help you get accustomed

to living here in Winnipeg,

including finding a Canadian

to marry for your citizenship.

Did you get a chance

to look at the profiles on our website?

Yeah, I...

I thought it was a joke.

We've had some American news

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