Blue State Page #2

organizations treating it like a joke.

And these women are willing to marry me?

Well, it's a little more involved

than that. I mean, they gotta like you.

Look, this is really...

This is really nice of you, Gloria.

Well, we're nice up here sometimes

for no good reason.

Thank you, I'll be in touch.

I wanna get out

of corporate America, man.

You know, you've got a computer,

they'll read your files.

Track everything you do.

I got my FBI file once

under the Freedom of Information Act.

This f***ing thick, man.

My girlfriend lives in Vancouver,

and I've got a week's vacation.

Tall latt, no fat, extra foam.

So I saw your post,

and I thought a road trip would be neat.

Last road trip I took, I listened to

Neil Diamond, like, 70 of the trip.

Something about it

just clicked with the landscape.

Right.

You got those multinationals

just pouring propaganda into your brain.

And what are your political views?

Yeah, I saw that on the flier.

Does it really matter?

You voted for Bush, didn't you?

So, it's cool if I bring my pet snake?

Well, you know...

Marry a Canadian, huh?

Yeah, man,

I'll have to look into that.

- All righty.

- Looking forward to hearing from you.

- Okay.

- Thanks a lot, Jack.

Okay. It's John.

Are you John?

Yeah.

Hi. Chloe.

Hi.

Sorry. I'm like an hour late.

Hi, you want a coffee or tea or...

No, I'm okay.

Oh, okay. Have a seat.

- Thanks.

- Yeah.

Sorry...

Chloe. Chloe Haymon or Hamon?

Hamon.

You know, that's Spanish for ham,

you know. Or it's jamn.

I think it's an English name.

No one's ever pointed that out to you?

Hamon, jamn?

You're the first. Congrats.

Well.

So what do you do, John?

I was a graphic designer.

I mean, I am still a graphic designer,

but I gave up my job

to work on the campaign.

So, you're gonna be looking for work

up in Canada?

Well, my moving to Canada is a protest

against the recently

re-elected administration.

Why? Are you somebody I should know

or something?

What do you mean?

I mean, who's gonna care

if you move to Canada?

Well, you don't have to be a somebody

to make a political statement.

But, yeah, actually,

the local news did a piece on me

and I write a blog

called the Donkey Revolution.

Cool. So are you gonna have,

like, cameras following you or something?

No, but I'll be documenting it on the

blog. Pen's mightier than the sword.

What about you? Why do you want to go?

Oh, I'm with you. I just wanna get

out of here as fast as f***ing possible.

Were you working on the campaign?

Yeah.

Which group?

The main one. For Kerry.

The D.N. C?

Yeah.

I heard you guys were more

on the ball than the 527s.

Yeah, yeah, they were pretty good

to work for.

Not good enough, though.

Yeah, I'm just so sick of it all.

I mean, the dude lied to us.

And there's people dying over there

for no reason.

And then he gets re-elected?

Exactly.

So, are you gonna be

making a decision soon?

Well, I have a couple of more people to...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, very soon.

'Cause I could leave tomorrow.

Great.

I can't believe she's hot.

You could come, too.

- Are you two gonna share a hotel room?

- We didn't discuss that.

Are you gonna share a bed?

It's only a few days' drive.

- Gonna share your fluids?

- Oh, shut the f*** up, Hal.

I'm going up there

to make a political statement.

Please. Did Gandhi go

on a sex-fueled road trip

with some little communist hottie

to protest British occupation?

- No.

- No.

He fasted for weeks.

Martin Luther King, did he desegregate

the South by boning white women?

I don't think so. He marched,

he got spit on, he got attacked by dogs

and honky policemen, and then he got shot.

You're going on what I believe will be

described by historians as a sex romp.

You were practically forcing me into this

a week ago.

- He'll be gone in four years.

- And then we get to get ready for Jeb.

This country is too conservative.

And it's not gonna change any time soon.

And you're really gonna give up

your American citizenship?

That's my plan.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Here, let me help you with that.

Nah, I got it.

- Ready to hit the road?

- Yep.

I was thinking maybe we'll stop

and pick up some groceries and a cooler.

I don't know your financial situation, but...

No, no, that's good. That's great.

Okay.

'Cause it can get kind of tense,

two people traveling together,

if they're on totally separate budgets,

you know.

One person wants to go

to the finest restaurants in town...

No, no, no, I totally agree.

Good, I'm really glad to hear you say that.

If you open the glove compartment there...

What is this?

That is a budget I put together.

It's got meals, gas, hotel rates,

tolls along the route.

And also, I mapped out the best route

to take. There it is.

Thanks. Thanks for doing this.

You're welcome.

Good to know

you've got everything under control.

Yeah, well, I think it's best to do that

before each trip.

You know, before each adventure,

so to speak.

Should we stop for gas?

Yeah, but we gotta wait

for a Coorco station.

Why?

Coorco is a Venezuelan company.

No support for Middle East oil, right?

I know, Chavez is no saint,

but at least he cares about his people.

What if we don't pass one?

No, we will. I mapped out

all the locations along the route.

If you go to the tab marked "gas. "

There it is.

This is really detailed.

It's a program on the computer.

It's just a spreadsheet, but...

It's more for fun, I do it. But I enjoy it.

Are you a vegetarian?

- Me?

- Yeah.

No.

Huh.

Are you?

Yeah.

That'll be $7.55, please.

All right, there you go.

All right, here's your change.

You wanna drive for a while?

Isn't it stick?

Yeah.

I can't drive stick.

What?

I don't know how.

But the flier said you needed to know

how to drive stick.

Didn't it say standard?

Standard is stick.

Oh, I thought standard was regular.

No, there's automatic and there's stan...

You know, forget it.

It's my fault,

I forgot to ask you about it when we met.

I've been meaning to learn.

People are always ragging on me.

Yeah, it's okay.

You know, we never actually talked

about the rooming situation.

Oh, right. Yeah.

You know, if we were gonna get

one room or two.

I mean, I don't care either way.

Me neither.

Okay. Good.

How about, if they have single rooms

with two beds, we take that,

but if they only have rooms with one bed,

then we spring for two rooms?

Sure, or whatever... I could sleep

on the floor. If we wanna save money.

I could sleep on the floor, too.

- Right. We could switch off.

- Sure.

We only have rooms available

with one king-sized bed.

A king's pretty big.

Let's get two rooms.

Sure. Yeah. There's probably more stuff

once we get north. This will be easier.

Yeah.

- Two rooms?

- Two rooms. Yeah.

- That's better.

- Yeah.

Do you have Internet access anywhere?

Yes, there's wireless in all the rooms.

Oh, great.

Well, they have a... This way.

They have a coffee shop downstairs.

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