Blue State Page #3

Or I saw a diner

when we got off the freeway.

Sure. I'll eat anything.

Okay.

So, just knock on my door

in a few minutes, okay?

Okay.

When you win, there is a feeling

that the people have spoken

and embraced your point of view.

And that's what I intend

to tell the Congress.

I made it clear

what I intend to do as the President.

It's one of the wonderful...

It's like earning capital.

You asked, "Do I feel free?"

Let me put it to you this way.

I earned capital in the campaign,

political capital,

and now I intend to spend it.

It is my style. That's what happened

after the 2000 election.

I earned some capital.

I've earned capital in this election.

And I'm gonna spend it for what...

...I've told the people I'd spend it on.

Come on.

Been a fantastic experience,

campaigning the country.

Come on.

You've seen it from one perspective,

I've seen it from another.

Saw you standing there at the last, final

rally in Texas, to my right over there.

I was observing you observe, and you saw

the energy. There was just something...

What are you doing?

I was just... I'll figure this out later.

Now that I've got

the will of the people at my back,

I'm going to start enforcing

the one-question rule.

That was three questions.

Our president, ladies and gentleman.

As far as Tony Blair's comments,

I agree with him.

Middle East peace

is a very important part of...

I always hate when people

tell me what to do, you know,

tie my shoes, or shave,

or get a haircut, anything like that.

Anything else you don't like?

Sorry.

So what did you do

before you worked on the campaign?

I was a teacher.

Really? What'd you teach?

Phys ed.

How'd you get into that?

I...

And there's yours.

Thanks.

And your salad.

Thank you.

And your biscuit.

So, tell me about that organization thing

up in Canada.

Well, it's a group that helps people

like us, who are moving up there,

find jobs and, you know, meet Canadians.

Sounds perfect.

Yeah, and the lady who runs it, Gloria,

seemed really nice on the phone.

Aren't you worried

about looking for work up there?

Well, graphic design's pretty portable,

and I can always do some freelance.

Plus, I'd really like to focus

on the Donkey Revolution.

What's that?

My website. The blog.

It's like the Daily Kos or Wonkette.

Remember?

I told you about it when we met.

So, 7:
00 tomorrow?

What time, then?

Good night.

Good night.

Let me transfer you

to somebody who can help you. Hello, FBI?

Who's coming home

for dinner, in the feel-good comedy...

In today's top story,

Secretary of State Colin Powell...

...and three other Cabinet members have

apparently submitted their resignations,

though Powell has told reporters

that he will remain in the post

until a successor is named.

Letters of resignation were also delivered

by Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham,

Agriculture Secretary Anne Veneman,

and Education Secretary Rod Paige.

Concerns over the health

of Vice President Dick Cheney

continue despite...

Okay, I'll...

That was good.

Now, let's... Okay, let's put it in neutral.

Put your foot on the clutch.

Now, you're in first. Now, you ease...

Okay, yeah, you can turn that thing

any way you want.

And then... Okay, now, those are cars,

so we're gonna want...

Okay, you wanna go left.

Good. This is lovely.

What you're doing is right.

Okay, you know,

maybe I should keep driving for now.

The Left just got a little bit louder on

The Majority Report.

The Republican Party, it is

my contention, over these next four years,

are going to implode,

between the paleocons,

the neocons, the Evangelicals,

and the moderates. And they will be...

Hello, Mom?

Hi.

It's John.

Yeah. I...

I got a little surprise for you.

I'm in Oregon and I'm driving north.

Yeah. Exactly.

I guess around 4:00.

Mom, look, I'm in Oregon. It's hard to

predict exactly when I'm going to arrive

in Eastern Washington State,

eight hours away.

I will call you when I'm closer, okay?

Just me and a friend.

Yes, and she has blue hair,

and she might be a lesbian.

I'm just gonna tell you this now,

so you don't faint when you see her.

Would you just tell Dad, so he doesn't...

Okay, me, too. Bye.

You ready?

There's something I kind of neglected

to mention to you.

What's that?

My parents live

in a small town in Washington,

which, unfortunately,

we're gonna pass through tonight.

Why didn't you say anything?

I don't know.

I wasn't sure whether we should stop.

I don't mind parents,

as long as they're not mine.

I can't do this.

Come on, give me the keys.

I'll drive.

- Really?

- Come on.

When I laid in the sun,

I thought about you

Let's put something else on.

When you laid in the sun,

you said you saw

Wow, you got a lot of CDs.

I don't know how much time we're given

They're alphabetized. Aw.

Look, maybe you should just drive, huh?

Bushisms? What are these? I got it.

Yeah, here, I'll show you. Put one in.

And then after you'd left...

Here, it's a little project of mine.

You're free and freedom is beautiful.

And, you know, it'll take time

to restore chaos.

So? He messes up sometimes.

I don't see why people

make such a big deal about it.

...hauling in a lot of the key operators.

It's a huge deal. You have to listen.

The real story of his presidency

is in the f***-ups.

It's like Freudian slips.

...vast majority of Iraqis want to live

in a peaceful, free world.

And we will find these people,

and we will bring them to justice.

I know the human...

It's like he tells everyone the truth

in plain sight,

but people just pass it off

as him saying stupid things.

See, it's the mistakes

we should be listening to.

...the joy of Hanukkah.

I'm sorry, but you've got

way too much time on your hands.

If this were a dictatorship,

it'd be a heck of a lot easier.

Anything I should know

before we get there?

About my parents? Honestly,

they're gonna take one look at you and

slam the door in your face.

Probably call Homeland Security.

I'm not that bad.

I don't know if I can handle this.

Come on, John, grow up.

You're what, like, 30 years old?

Twenty-eight.

And you still haven't gotten over

the whole thing of

bringing home someone

your parents might not approve of?

It's a little more than that.

If I brought home a vegetarian,

Luna Bar-eating tight-ass like you,

my dad would probably be forcing you to

shotgun beers and bare-knuckle box him

before dinner was over.

But I'd bring you home anyway,

if I liked you.

Thanks.

Besides, we're not even dating.

Door's open.

Hello?

In here.

Could you give me a hand, please?

Hi, Mom.

Close the rotisserie, please.

Now.

How are you, John?

Mom, you know I don't eat meat.

Are you still doing that?

Last time I checked,

the agro-business-industrial complex

hasn't changed any.

What have we here?

Mom, this is Chloe Hamon.

Oh, dear.

Did you just pull yourself off a leash?

It's a necklace, Mom.

Actually, it's kind of a new look for me.

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