Blue State Page #4

See?

That was you?

Dear, could you help me set the table?

I hear his father pulling up.

Of course.

Okay, if we leave right now,

we can be gone before she's back.

She's fine.

You had some style in high school.

John-John, your father's home.

Go ahead, John-John. I'll set the table.

Come back to America-Town with your tail

between your legs, eh, Comrade Lenin?

I thought maybe we'd cover hello

before we get into politics.

Yeah, well, our man wiped his ass

with your boy.

You heard the Vice President,

said it was a mandate.

Well, if Cheney said

it, then it must be true.

You are the poster child

for what's wrong with America today.

You cynical, sarcastic,

energy-sucking liberals.

All you ever do is whine, whine,

whine, complain.

Complain, complain, whine, complain,

complain, whine.

B*tch, whine, and complain.

Whine, b*tch, complain,

and criticize, and whine, and b*tch.

Well, I'd rather sit back

and listen to all that

than let your boys into the White House

to ruin the country.

If that's the way you feel.

You see where we flushed out a bunch

of ragheads in Baghdad yesterday?

Fourteen more US troops were killed.

And the world hates us.

You probably think we need to pass

some global test to do good in the world.

See, that's the problem,

you just repeat whatever you hear

without even thinking about it.

Some kind of flag-waving monkey.

You come on my program

and you call me a monkey!

- Dad.

- We're going to commercial break here!

Cut off his mic!

So tell me, why would

an otherwise intelligent young man

like yourself wanna vote for the other side?

Mom.

I asked you a question, sir.

I'd rather not talk about this.

Well, it's unpatriotic, it's anti-American.

Being critical of your government's

actions is one of the most patriotic acts

a person can make.

Especially if the government's wrong.

Come on.

Didn't Vietnam show that?

The Civil Rights movement?

Abolishing slavery?

No, you're living in the past.

People are dying every day.

Not just American soldiers,

but Iraqis and Afghanis

who never did a damn thing.

Never did a thing! What about 9/11?

They had nothing to do with 9/11.

This is all just the White House

pushing its arrogant, idealistic agenda.

It's the Cold War all over again.

That's right, and we won the Cold War!

Deposing dictators who were not a threat

to our country in any way!

You are so out of line!

Of course, Bush wouldn't know that,

because he hasn't read a book

since My Pet Goat.

Do you know that Kennedy read

The Guns of August

during the Cuban Missile Crisis?

Our president listens

to the people around him who know.

Who know what? All they're doing

is turning the people of the Middle East

against us even more.

That's because they're getting

the wrong information, it's the media.

We've got brave boys over there.

Yeah, who are giving their lives

for a huge mistake.

Next caller.

Young lady, where are you calling from?

Uh, San Diego.

San Diego, California, you're on the line.

- Dad.

- Don't call me Dad.

Next caller.

Honey, open the phone lines, please.

John...

- Open the phone lines.

Yes, John.

I'll go get some more orange juice.

Is everything okay?

He wasn't always like this.

Our other son is in Iraq, you know.

I didn't know.

Of course, John didn't tell you.

Look.

We can believe different things, Dad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What about Perry?

He knows how I feel.

But, what if he were...

If he were to...

It's not about that.

Dad...

I cannot have you saying these things

in my house.

Go on.

Get out.

We're leaving.

Mom.

Why do you provoke him like that?

I'm going.

Thanks for stopping by, John-John.

How come you never told me?

We've only known each other

two f***ing days.

Okay, don't f***ing snap at me.

You know, it must be hard for them

to listen to you,

with their other son over there.

I am doing the best thing

for my brother and everyone else.

I'm trying to end this thing.

Still, they might not wanna hear it.

We're all so f***ing brainwashed into

thinking political opposition is unpatriotic.

That somehow it's against the troops.

Okay, John, I don't wanna hear

a tirade right now.

I'm just trying to talk to you

about your brother.

'Cause you can go back there and

stay with them, instead of sitting there

trying to lecture me about something

that you don't know the first thing about.

I know that this is a pointless war,

and I'm sorry

that your brother has to be

over there fighting it.

But just because I don't feel like

running my mouth off every chance I get,

doesn't mean I don't have

thoughts about this stuff.

Hi, can I help you?

Two rooms.

Just fill these out.

I'm sorry I went off on you last night.

Hey, it's a road trip, right?

We've gotta get on each other's nerves

at some point.

Anyway, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

But I am in a good mood today.

Why is that?

It's border day.

- Wow.

- Cross into Canada today.

- Already?

- Yeah.

Don't worry.

I'm okay.

Look, I just wanted to tell you I'm okay.

Okay?

Bye.

I gotta go to the bathroom.

Okay, well, we'll stop on the other side.

I gotta go really bad.

Well, there's nowhere

to pull over, okay?

Stop the car!

We're already here, okay?

Relax, we'll talk about it

when we get to the other side.

No, I can't talk about it

when we get to the other side,

because I can't go to the other side.

Now, what is so

goddamn important?

What?

I'm in the Army.

Excuse me?

I already did one tour in Iraq,

and I'm supposed to be

shipping out again tomorrow.

You were in Iraq?

You were in Iraq.

Holy sh*t!

They let you look like that in the Army?

No, the hair, the whole thing

was just for this trip,

and I was never a gym teacher.

That's what my dad does.

Just drive me back to Spokane,

and I'll take the bus home or something.

This was a stupid idea, anyway.

You're gonna give up now?

We're, like, a mile from the border.

No, I can't. They'll run my passport.

You came on this trip for a reason, right?

Yeah, but I changed my mind.

So what are you gonna do? You're gonna

go back to Iraq and get killed?

I'm sorry.

I wish I could take my brother

to the other side with me, but I can't.

Come on, please.

This is what we came for, right?

You can do this.

- Good day.

- Hi.

Passports, please.

Yep. Here you go.

What is the purpose

of your visit to Canada?

We're visiting my aunt.

Where does she live?

Winnipeg.

What's her name?

O'Neill. Gloria O'Neill.

Are you carrying

anything I should know about?

No.

Any reefer?

No.

American beer?

Beer? Is American beer illegal?

No, but it tastes like piss.

Welcome to Canada.

Thank you.

Whoa. Whoa.

Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.

I see pearly gates

Held up by wheat

You can't expect to find heaven

in Tennessee

My father was in the Army, his brother,

my grandpa, my great-grandpa.

My mom was an Army brat.

I mean, she lived in all these places.

Germany, the Philippines,

you know, when she was a kid.

I don't have any brothers, so

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