Body Bags Page #3

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And... voila.

Now, we, uh, have

quite a few hair personalities

for you to choose from,

uh, depending on which trait

you wish to emphasize.

This is your basic

conservative look.

We call it Traditional Republican.

- I don't know, eh...

- I agree.

No?

Well, uh, go a little bit more daring.

The Military Style, favored

by police, soldiers, athletes.

- I don't know, it's almost too, uh--

- Drab.

Exactly.

You see, I want something

that is very, um,

- exciting.

- Yes.

- Bold.

- Yes.

- Sexy.

- Yes, yes.

Let's try this.

We call this our Stallion Look.

Giddyup.

Yes, that's it, that's the one.

The Stallion Look it is.

Congratulations, Richard.

Uh, no surgery.

No, no, no,

heavens no, no.

We apply the solution here

then when you wake up

tomorrow morning in your own bed,

you take off the bandage

and you're a new man.

Oh, Lord, oh, Lord,

please let me have hair.

If I have hair,

I have everything.

I just want to love me again.

I don't love me

the way I am now.

I love me the way

I used to be.

The way I want to be.

Please, God,

just let me have--

Hair.

Oh, my... oh, my God.

I have-- I-- it's hair.

I have hair!

It worked.

Oh, God, look at tha--

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

It's the old me.

It's the new me.

It's the me

I've always wanted to be.

No, no, no.

I can't let you touch it.

If I let you touch it, I'll have to let

everybody else touch it.

Yes, yes, it is the source

of all my strength.

But it's not the only source.

See that my men are well fed.

And bring forth the women.

It's incredible!

Who is this Dr. Lock?

He advertises on TV.

Why doesn't everybody

go to him?

He's new.

It's amazing.

I can't believe

what it's done for you.

Ohh, mm-mm.

You even kiss better.

I know I said it didn't matter,

but you look so fantastic

with this new hair.

You're just so-- You're so--

You're so animal.

Tell me you love me, Richard.

Just me.

- Mm-mm.

- Morning, lover.

Morning.

Oh.

Oh.

Feel like I'm getting

a sore throat.

Maybe you overdid it

last night, huh?

Oh, I got this tickle

in my throat.

Well, I'd love to stay

and scratch it, but I gotta go.

See you later, sexy?

Take care of that sore throat,

you hear?

You gotta save all

your strength for me.

- I don't believe it.

- I don't either.

You know, this is--

it's amazing.

I know.

And it's not a weave.

No, no, it's all mine, baby.

Oh, man, it seems

so good and healthy.

You know what I mean?

Oh, man, all right, okay.

- Who is this Dr. Lock, huh?

- He's new.

- You look... great.

- I know.

You look great.

Now, I'm just going

to cut it a little bit, okay?

Just give it a little bit of shape.

You all right there, buddy?

Not too much, not too much.

No, no, no, just styled.

Just style.

Hello.

Lousy.

I don't know,

I just don't feel too good.

Huh?

Um, gettin' a haircut.

Yeah, well, after you left

this morning,

I discovered that my hair's grown

nearly six inches.

No, I'm not kidding.

I know, it's weird.

Listen, I'm glad you called.

Um, I'm gonna have

to cancel our date tonight.

I really think I'm coming down

with something.

No, I am not seeing

somebody else.

Come on, Megan,

what's the matter with you?

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

That's all right.

Yep, thanks.

Bye-bye.

Ahh, ah.

Ahh, ahhh.

Oh, no, oh.

Hello.

Not so good.

What time is it?

What?

No, nobody else is here.

Why don't you believe me.

I told you I'm sick.

It's not an act.

What?

Oh, fine, suit yourself,

don't believe me then!

- Happy, darling?

- Yes, of course.

Ah, Richard, how are you?

Guess.

You look great.

Another successful operation.

What are you talking about?

Look what's happening to me.

I know, isn't it wonderful.

Let me show you something.

You earthlings and your vanity.

You're so predictably easy.

You know, at first,

it was difficult.

When we arrived on this planet,

we were tiny, starving organisms.

And then we discovered

that your brains

are the only food

on which we can thrive.

The questions was one of access.

We seem to have found

the answer.

In fact, we're particularly

enjoying your brain.

We like fat.

Nurse, transfer Richard

into implant containers.

Then call in the next patient.

Ooh.

It seems to me, maybe I'm going

a little thin on top myself.

Ooh!

I think we have time

for one more body.

Does anyone

have anything to share?

No volunteers?

What a bunch of stiffs!

I want you guys to think about this

while I go have a drink.

Ehh!

Ooh, I forgot about this.

This is weird.

This may make you

a little tense.

It made someone a little past tense.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Here's looking at you, kid.

Bice is hoping Matthews

can get something going here.

Here's the pitch.

Good hit. Go.

Get over that fence.

Yeah!

What's going on, Matthews?

All of a sudden you're knockin'

the hell outta that ball.

Yeah, I don't know,

I'm seein' it real good.

I don't want to make you nervous,

but the Giants got their eye on you.

Yeah, I heard that one before.

Hey, they could use

a good pinch hitter this year.

Still gonna talk to us peons

when you hit the majors?

Yeah, right.

I'm not about to start counting

my chickens.

I've been too close

too many times.

Somethin' always happens.

I got a feeling

this is your year.

Let's say we knock back

a few brews and celebrate.

I don't think so, bud. I got someone

prettier to celebrate with.

You better watch it.

It ain't natural to love

your wife so much.

Hello.

Hey, darlin'.

How'd you do?

Three for four and a homerun

to win it in the ninth.

Oh, that's great.

I've got some good news too.

- What?

- Surprise.

- Tell me.

- Unh-uh.

You gotta come home

to find out.

I'll be there in a flash.

Love ya.

I love you too.

Bye.

Jesus Christ!

Ah!

Brent?

You're gonna be okay.

Honey, Dr. Bregman is here

and he needs to talk to you.

Are you feeling up to it?

Good morning, Brent.

Now, let me guess, Doc.

Heh, I got a concussion and--

Yeah, your putting me

on the three-day disabled list.

Brent, I'm sorry to tell you this,

but it's much worse than that.

I'm afraid you've lost

your right eye.

But I'm a baseball player.

It's the eye I use...

to see the God damn ball.

Oh, Honey.

No!

Dr. Watkins, Dr. Watkins.

Brent.

This is Dr. Lang.

He'd like to speak with you.

What about?

I think maybe I can help you.

I've spent the last ten years

of my life developing a method

to transplant an entire eye.

Now, it's never been done

or even tried.

But I do think it could work.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty much alone

in that opinion.

Let's say I'm skeptical.

I could play again?

Yeah, if it works.

Well, what if it doesn't?

Well, if the eye dies,

we'll just have to remove it

and you and I are back

to square one.

When can we do it?

Well, I'd prefer

to do it right away.

I-- I just received

a healthy donor eye.

Oh, I-- I know that sounds

a bit gruesome.

But, uh, it's an excellent match

for your size.

It is a brown eye, but we can use

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