Bodysnatch Page #2

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All righty, here we go!

[laughs]

[Steve] Oh, sh*t!

Whoa!

[Marcus laughing]

[laughs] Whoo!

Here we go, boys!

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucka!

[Jeremy] Hell, yeah! That's

what I'm talkin' about.

Get 'em, get 'em, get 'em!

Whoo! [laughing]

Oh-ho!

- Holy sh*t!

- Sh*t!

- Here you are. [laughs]

- Aaah!

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

Get the Taser!

Get the Taser!

- Taser!

- Are you sure that's the Taser?

Yeah, bro. This is

what they look like now.

Can't hold him much longer!

Come here.

I don't know, man.

Pull the trigger.

Aaah!

[Marcus] Pull the trigger,

you p*ssy! Come on!

[gunshot]

Aah! Aah!

Oh, sh...

[groaning]

[Marcus]

You shot him.

- No, no, no. I got the Taser.

- You shot him.

You said the black box.

I got the Taser.

That's what you said!

- I said get the Taser, not the gun!

- That's what I got!

I said get the Taser!

Not the gun!

You shot him!

No, no, no. I was...

Marcus, I swear,

I was just following

your orders.

Stand right here.

Stand right here.

- Stand right here!

- No, no!

- Stand right here!

- No! You told me!

- Stand right here!

- Oh ho!

Look at the camera!

Look at the camera.

Repeat after me.

I, Jeremy Alan.

I, Jeremy Alan...

Am on Candid

freakin' Camera!

- [laughing]

- [Jeremy] What?!

[Marcus and Bateman laughing]

A blood packet!

Are you serious?!

They're blanks!

Blanks!

[Bateman] I just saw the funniest

sh*t in the entire world.

You know what

wasn't funny, Bateman?

You hitting me in the face!

That wasn't in the script!

Improv! It just felt right

in the moment!

- [laughing]

- But good God, though.

Look at his face!

Look at... Look at!

[Bateman]

Oh, my... Oh, man!

Oh, it's so good.

It's so good!

[rock music playing]

[Siren]

All right,

mandatory pit-stop, fellas.

[siren stops]

All right,

let's get out of here.

Nah, man,

we're just getting started.

You want to stay after that?

Whatever, dude.

Just... just wait

until the sun goes down.

It's gonna be dope, man,

like the hood and sh*t.

We're gonna get

some golden footage.

We live in Indianapolis,

Jeremy.

There's not a hood here.

Come on, dude.

We never

just hang anymore.

- What are you gonna...

- All right!

All right!

Fine, but any more sh*t

like that and we leave.

Scout's honor.

All right. You looked like a

b*tch back there by the way.

- Hey. You would have been that way, too.

- I'm just saying.

- Just putting facts out there.

- I pulled out the Taser.

"Oh, man, it was the Taser,

it was the Taser."

You were sitting in the back

like a b*tch, too.

You didn't even

jump to the rescue.

They didn't

have me on camera.

Hey, man, don't spill.

I know it's Friday.

I was your age once.

Not too long ago,

you know.

Here you go.

- All right.

- Oh, yeah!

Let me get

one of these things.

What about me?

You know,

somebody's got to drive.

She's all yours.

You pulling my dick?

Hey,

no dick-pulling here.

She's all yours, cuz.

Be careful with her,

though, cuz, all right?

Yes!

[Steve] I... I knew it!

I knew it.

Chelsea Lyle did get a DUI.

She could plow

through a bus stop full of kids.

I'd gave her a warning

and my number.

Man.

I mean, is it the chin nub

that does it for you, Marcus?

Actually,

it's the giant tits.

[Steve]

You can't even see them.

Yeah, but you know

they're there.

Yeah, dude. She did

have some pretty big tits.

[laughing]

Who the hell are you,

some kind of like Don Juan?

You mean

you wouldn't hit that?

Maybe,

I have some standards.

Oh, you cannot have standards

when you're only into one girl.

Ooh... gossip.

[laughing]

What's her name?

What's her name?!

- Check this out.

- There isn't a name.

- Emma Harris.

- How you spell it?

- E-M-M-A.

- Jeremy, seriously!

- Cut it out! I'm serious!

- H-A-R-R-I-S.

Bam. Whoa!

She is smokin' hot.

And that's

her license pic.

Imagine what she looks

like in real life.

Man, please tell me

you are hittin' that.

- Nah. He wishes.

- Please.

She wanted some

from him so bad, though,

but this guy

was too stupid to see.

OK. He's making it sound like

she was throwing herself at me.

She was, man,

and everybody knew it.

Why do you think

she kept inviting you

down to the lake house when

her parents weren't home?

Oh,

her parents weren't home?

And Steve liked her, too.

Like, a lot, a lot.

But Prince Hairy Bush

over here

was either too stupid or too

dickless to make a move.

Dude, you have

got to shave that sh*t.

[Steve] It's not true.

I was... I just didn't know

how to approach her.

I was trying

to be a gentleman.

By What?

Not giving the girl

what she wanted?

The gentlemanly thing

to do

is to say thank you

and to head downtown.

You mean like downtown?

Down-town.

Whoa! Listen, dude.

She may have

the holiest of holy,

but my donut-eater ain't going

nowhere near that honeypot.

I'm telling... Hey! Hey!

OK. Check this out.

You like it when girls

go down on you, right?

Dude, I love that sh*t.

Well, so do they, man.

I'm telling you,

it's the 21st century.

Chicks are just dudes

with tits these days.

I can kind of hear

what you're selling.

All right, all right.

But all the rug munching

in the world

ain't going to help you

with Emma now, bro.

What's that supposed

to mean, Jeremy?

Do you think she's

out of my league?

She's always been

out of your league, dude.

But that's not it,

man.

I'm telling you, Emma is definitely

not the girl you used to know.

No, I know that.

I've seen her Facebook page.

She's got the nose ring

going, and the new look.

And I'm diggin' it.

Of course you are.

It's hot. I know.

But when beautiful girls

like that have a nose ring,

it's for a reason, man.

What the hell does

that mean?

It means she's feisty.

More like she'd eat Steve up

and spit him out.

I'd love to see that.

I would love to see that.

She would not eat me up.

- [Jeremy] Yes, she would.

- I'd eat her up,

'cause I'm a wild tiger!

And I'd go ranngrrrr!

Don't ever say that

in this car again.

Ever. Like, in life.

[sighs]

OK, bigshot.

Let's see if she's home.

All right. Pimpmobile 86

coming in hot!

Hold on, no,

we don't have to do that.

- Uh...

- [siren whoops]

Uh, guys, guys.

We don't have to do that.

- [Jeremy] Oh, come on!

- [Marcus laughs]

[vibrating vocalization]

[siren whoops]

Emma Harris.

Come out with your hands up!

- [groaning] Emma!

- Come here!

Shut up.

- Shut up.

- Get off of me.

Jeremy, what...

Steve? Steve Marra?

The prodigal son returns.

I haven't seen you

since you left Indy

and became

too good for us.

Come here.

Uh, what's that?

It's a ride along.

Lieutenant Officer Marcus

Wilder at your service.

But you,

you can call me Marcus.

Or you can call me

Thundereagle.

That's my call sign.

Awesome.

It's nice to meet you,

Marcus. I'm Emma.

Emma. Emma.

Wow.

I've never seen a cop car

look like this.

Oh, it's a special edition

pursuit-rated vehicle.

It's built for hunting

the baddest on the road.

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