Bogus Page #6

IT MEANS PRETENDING

TO BE REAL.

SOMETHING NOT BEING

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE.

IT'S VERY IMPORTAN YOU NOT CONFUSE THE

MEANING OF WORDS.

HA HA!

WHAT ARE YOU:

LOOKING AT, ALBERT?

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

MMM...NOTHING.

NOW, THEN, ALBERT,

CAN YOU TELL ME:

THE CORRECT MEANING

OF THE WORD BOGUS?

IT MEANS...

FRIEND.

NO, NO, NO!

BOGUS MEANS FAKE!

BOGUS IS NOT FAKE!

DON'T YOU SHOU AT ME, YOUNG MAN!

NO, BOGUS IS REAL!

HE'S ALWAYS BEEN REAL!

[CHILDREN GIGGLING]

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, UM...

WE'LL TALK

ABOUT THIS LATER ON.

YOU CAN SIT DOWN.

UM...WE'LL GO ON.

WORDS STARTING:

WITH THE LETTER "C."

Boy:

OH, RIGHT HERE.

JEFFREY.

[DISHES CLANKING]

BOB MORRISON'S KID'S

BIRTHDAY PARTY.

UH-UH. TELL HIM

I'M IN PHILADELPHIA.

OH, COME ON, HARRIET.

IT WILL BE FUN.

IT WILL BE GOOD:

FOR ALBERT.

HE'LL MEET OTHER KIDS.

WHAT SCARES YOU ABOU A BIRTHDAY PARTY?

[CRASH]

TAKE IT OU OF MY PAYCHECK.

WHO SAID ANYTHING

ABOUT BEING SCARED?

I'M NOT SCARED

OF ANYTHING.

THEN WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

Penny:

HE'S 7.

7. HIS MOTHER DIED.

HE LOVED HER.

HE'S GOT TO

WORK IT OUT.

I KNOW HE'S 7.

I KNOW HIS MOTHER DIED.

I ALSO HAVE TO:

WORK IT OUT.

BUT YOU'RE NOT 7.

SOME PART OF ME IS 7!

LET THE PART THAT'S 7

BE FRIENDS WITH HIS 7.

WHAT ARE YOU,

SIGMUND FREUD?

STOP ANALYZING ME.

YOU ARE MY SECRETARY!

TAKE THE KID:

TO THE PARTY.

Man:
ARE YOU READY

FOR A SURPRISE?

Children:

YEAH!

IT'S ME, DR. SURPRISE!

YAY!

YAY!

DO YOU LIKE:

SURPRISES?

YES!

YES!

Bob:
HARRIET,

HARRIET, HARRIET.

HA HA HA!

HERE'S A PARTY HA FOR YOU.

I DON'T--

UH, YES, HARRIET.

YES, YES, YES.

HEY, DOUG.

HI, BOB. HOW ARE YOU?

LONG TIME NO SEE.

HERE'S A HA FOR YOU.

KID'S HAVING A GREA TIME, HARRIET.

OH, YEAH.

HAVE SOME CAKE.

I DON'T--

COME ON, HARRIET.

HAVE A PIECE OF CAKE.

THIS IS A NICE HOUSE.

WELL, I GOT THE HOUSE.

MY WIFE GOT THE MONEY.

YES. I ALWAYS THOUGH IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

LISTEN, UM...

ABOUT THE LOAN--

IT'S A PARTY,

HARRIET.

WE'LL TALK

ABOUT IT LATER.

Children:
YAY!

IS EVERYBODY HAVING FUN

AT DOUGIE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY?

YEAH!

YEAH!

AND NOW, I WANT YOU

TO FEAST YOUR EYES

ON THE MAGIC CLOSET:

DR. SURPRISE'S

CABINET OF MYSTERY!

HA HA HA!

HO HO!

THE ONE AND ONLY PLACE

THAT'S GUARANTEED TO SHOW YOU

THINGS AS THEY:

REALLY ARE.

IT'S THE DOUBLE-DOOR

TRICK.

MAGIC WAND,

OH, MAGIC WAND.

CHOOSE, MAGIC WAND...

THAT LOVELY LADY

ACROSS THE LAWN!

PLEASE, COME UP

AND HELP US.

YEAH, YOU. YES.

NO. NO, THANK YOU.

GET SOMEBODY ELSE.

YOU'RE THE ONE.

NO, I'M NOT.

JUST DO YOUR:

MAGIC TRICK.

ARE WE GOING:

TO LET THIS LADY

GET AWAY FROM:

THE MAGIC CLOSET?

NO!

NO!

THEN LET'S FIND OU WHO SHE REALLY IS.

GO AND GET HER!

HA HA HA!

NO! COME ON, NOW!

STOP!

HA HA HA!

HO HO HO!

Girl:
OW!

I'M SORRY. TELL HER

I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HER.

OK, KIDS, COME ON.

BACK TO YOUR SEATS.

COME ON, RIGHT NOW.

HURRY UP, EVERYONE.

CHOOSE ME,

DR. SURPRISE.

I'LL DO IT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER

WITH YOU, HARRIET?

I TOLD HIM I DIDN' WANT TO PLAY.

I SAID NO!

Dr. Surprise:
JUST SETTLE DOWN,

KIDS. SETTLE DOWN. YES.

ARE YOU READY:

FOR ANOTHER SURPRISE?

YES!

YES!

Woman:
WHAT AM I

SUPPOSED TO DO?

RIGHT INTO THE BOX,

MY LITTLE CINNAMON BUN.

HERE IS:

THE BIG SURPRISE!

ARE YOU READY:

IN THE CLOSET?

Woman:
YES, I AM,

DR. SURPRISE.

HA HA HA!

SIM SOLA BIM!

HUH! MOMMA!

WHERE'S MY MOMMA?

[CRYING]

[ADDING MACHINE WHIRS]

DR. SURPRISE ISN'T REALLY

A VERY GOOD MAGICIAN.

NO, HE'S NOT.

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

I HOLD IT THIS WAY,

AND YOU CAN' SEE IT.

AND I DO THIS.

SEE?

AND IT DROPS:

DOWN HERE. SEE?

IT'S CALLED

THE FRENCH PASS.

MORE FRENCH, HUH?

I'VE GO A BETTER ONE.

MR. ANTOINE

TAUGHT ME.

HE'S THE BES MAGICIAN

IN LAS VEGAS.

LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TIME

FOR THIS RIGHT NOW.

I HAVE THESE BILLS

I HAVE TO PAY.

I JUST REALLY:

DON'T HAVE TIME.

[DOOR SLAMS]

Albert:

I HATE HER!

I HATE HER!

HE WANTS TO SHOW YOU

A TRICK. THAT'S ALL.

WHY YOU:

PUSH HIM AWAY?

AND NOW:

YOU FEEL SO BAD.

HARRIET, WHY DO YOU

WANT TO FEEL SO BAD?

[ADDING MACHINE WHIRS]

WHAT IS THIS?

BELASCO'S 12,456

PINK COASTERS.

I WILL BE SO GLAD

WHEN I'M OUT OF THE

COASTER BUSINESS.

LET ME GET YOU:

A CUP OF COFFEE.

WHAT'S WRONG?

BOB MORRISON:

CALLED THIS MORNING.

YEAH?

HE SAID THE BANK

WON'T GIVE YOU

THE LOAN.

HE SAYS HE REALLY

WISHES HE COULD,

BUT HE DOESN'T THINK

HE CAN:

GET IT THROUGH:

THE LOAN COMMITTEE.

HE DOESN'T THINK

HE CAN GET IT THROUGH?

GET HIM ON THE PHONE.

HE'S OU OF TOWN ALL DAY.

YOU CAN'T REACH HIM.

HE GAVE ME:

HIS HOME NUMBER:

IN CASE YOU WANT TO

TALK TO HIM LATER.

I DON'T WAN TO TALK TO HIM LATER.

I WANT TO SEE HIM

FACE-TO-FACE TONIGHT.

GET ON THE PHONE,

AND TELL HIM I WAN TO SEE HIM TONIGHT.

WHAT ABOUT ALBERT?

I'LL GET THE LADY DOWNSTAIRS.

SHE'LL BABYSIT.

SHE DOESN'T CHARGE

FOR INVISIBLE FRIENDS.

Man:
WHAT'S

YOUR ORDER?

2 MARTINIS.

2 MARTINIS.

HARVEY, IT SEEMS

THAT VETA IS HAVING

A PARTY:

THIS AFTERNOON...

[MOVIE CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]

[BLOWS]

Bogus:
OHH...

IT'S A BAD IDEA,

ALBERT.

IT'S A BAD IDEA.

YOU CAN'T STOP ME.

BUT IT'S TOO FAR.

IT'S ONLY

2 HOURS BY BUS.

I SAW IT IN AN AD.

OH, I DON'T LIKE THIS.

IT'S A BAD IDEA.

DON'T FOLLOW ME.

[VOICE ON P.A. SYSTEM]

DO YOU WANT TO GO

TO ATLANTIC CITY?

WELL, THANK YOU,

HARVEY.

I PREFER YOU, TOO.

HA HA HA!

Harriet:
HI.

HUH? OH, HI.

WHAT A LOVELY MOVIE.

EVERYTHING OK?

FINE. HE'S SUCH

A GOOD LITTLE BOY.

IS HE ASLEEP?

NOT A SOUND.

AT LEAST NOT NOW.

HE WAS IN THERE:

TALKING TO SOMEBODY,

IF YOU KNOW:

WHAT I MEAN.

YEAH. WHAT DO

I OWE YOU?

UH, $4.00 AN HOUR,

THAT WILL BE $18.00.

OK.

OH, THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, WHEN MY

DAUGHTER WAS SMALL,

SHE USED TO TALK TO

HERSELF ALL THE TIME.

REALLY?

YEAH. I EVEN HAD TO

SET AN EXTRA PLACE

FOR SOMEBODY:

NAMED TRINKET.

HELL, THEY WERE

REAL CLOSE.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

ALBERT?

ALBERT?

COME ON,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

COME ON, ALBERT,

WHERE ARE YOU?

ALBERT!

ALBERT?

DAMN!

ALBERT! A BAD IDEA.

IT'S STILL A BAD IDEA!

[MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY]

Bogus:
AH, VOILA.

MERCI!

HI, GOMEZ.

IT'S ME, ALBERT.

[CHIRPING]

[SCREECHES]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Albert:
HI!

IT'S ME--ALBERT.

ALBERT! BUT WHA ARE YOU DOING HERE?

MON PETIT CHOU.

MON PETIT CHOU.

WHAT ARE YOU:

DOING HERE?

IT WILL NOT WORK.

THEY WILL SEND YOU BACK.

NO, THEY WON'T.

THEY LOVE ME.

OF COURSE:

WE LOVE YOU.

BUT HOW DID:

YOU GET HERE?

ON THE BUS.

ON THE BUS?

WHO'D YOU COME WITH?

WHERE'S

YOUR GODMOTHER?

WHERE IS HARRIET?

WHERE?

I RAN AWAY.

I'M NEVER

GOING BACK.

I WANT TO STAY:

WITH YOU.

I CAN'T BELIEVE

YOU HAVE DONE THIS,

ALBERT.

YOU ARE CRAZY!

I CAN DO:

THE EGG TRICK.

I CAN DO:

THE DOUBLE DISAPPEAR.

Antoine:

C'EST RIDICULE.

IL DOIT RETOURNER

CHEZ SA TANTE,

ET LE PLUS:

TOT SERA LE MIEUX.

NE SOIS PAS BETE,

ANTOINE.

J'ESSAIE DE

LUI DIRE QUE C'ES UNE MAUVAISE IDEE.

YOU CAN CUT ME IN HALF

IF YOU WANT TO...

AND I CAN LEARN MORE.

I CAN DO THE EGG TRICK.

ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO DO.

QUIET DOWN, ALBERT.

YOU REST NOW, OK?

DOUCEMENT,

DOUCEMENT.

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