Boi Page #4

(The Plankton robot picked itself up and started to dance)

Plankton Robot:

Ha-ha, victory dance. Boo-ya.

(INT. OFFICE, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. SpongeBob and Plankton were struggling over the bottle that held the Krabby Patty secret formula)

SpongeBob:

(PANTING) Give me that!

Plankton:

Come on, SpongeBob, join me! And we'll be rich and powerful, until I eventually betray you.

(He realized what he'd said)

Plankton:

(STAMMERING) Uh, join me!

(SpongeBob shook his head, violently)

SpongeBob:

No! Never! I'm on Team Krabs for life!

(INT. THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Mr. Krabs used all the strength he could muster to force the metal shutters open. He burst through the front door)

Krabs:

Plankton!

(INT. OFFICE, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. SpongeBob and Plankton were still trying to pull the formula bottle away from each other. They tugged. They strained. They yanked with all their might)

(Suddenly, the bottle vanished into thin air!)

(SpongeBob's mouth hung open)

SpongeBob:

What? Where'd it go?

PLANKTON:

Wait a minute. Molecular deconstruction? I proved that to be a scientific impossibility seven times!

SPONGEBOB:

Wait a minute. I think I forget to empty Gary's litter box today.

(Mr. Krabs dashed in. He immediately saw that the safe was open and Plankton was standing there. The REAL Plankton—not a robot)

Krabs:

Where's me formuler, Plankton?

(Plankton raised his tiny hands and shrugged)

Plankton:

I... I don't know! It just disappeared!

Krabs:

Why should I believe you, you lying liar?

(SpongeBob stepped forward)

SpongeBob:

Normally, I'd agree with you, Mr. Krabs, but this time he's telling the truth. It just vanished!

Plankton:

It's true! (GASPS)

(Mr. Krabs wasn't buying it. He grabbed Plankton and taped him to his desk. SpongeBob watched his boss, looking worried)

SpongeBob:

Mr. Krabs, I'm telling you he's innocent!

Plankton:

What are you going to do, Krabs? Pour hot oil on me? Or put bamboo shoots under my nails?

(Mr. Krabs shook his head)

Krabs:

(seriously) No. Knock, knock.

(Plankton grinned)

Plankton:

Knock-knock jokes? I can do this all day, Krabs.

Krabs:

Knock, knock.

Plankton:

Oh, boy. Who's there?

Krabs:

Jimmy.

Plankton:

Jimmy who?

Krabs:

Jimmy back my formuler, Plankton!

(Plankton looked confused)

Plankton:

Well, that's stupid, but how is it torture?

Krabs:

(CHUCKLES) You'll see.

(He put on soundproof headphones)

(SpongeBob was thinking hard)

SpongeBob:

(to himself) "Jimmy back my formula"? Hmm. Oh! I get it!

(He started to laugh his high, annoying laugh)

SpongeBob:

(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

Plankton:

(SCREAMING)

(He kept laughing. And laughing. And laughing)

Plankton:

Oh, make it stop, Krabs! Make it stop!

(But Mr. Krabs just stood there wearing his headphones. And SpongeBob kept laughing)

SpongeBob:

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

Plankton:

(CONTINUES SCREAMING)

(As SpongeBob continued to laugh at the knock-knock joke, Squidward opened the door to the office. Behind him, a throng of angry customers scowled and complained)

Squidward:

Mr. Krabs?

(But Mr. Krabs couldn't hear him because of his headphones. And SpongeBob was still laughing as Plankton writhed in psychological pain)

Squidward:

SpongeBob, zip it!

(SpongeBob immediately stopped laughing)

(Plankton looked immensely relieved)

Plankton:

(GROANS) Thank you, Squidward.

(Squidward ignored Plankton's apology)

Squidward:

The customers are getting restless! They're asking for refunds. (ECHOES) Refunds.

(To Mr. Krabs, "refund" was such a horrible, terrifying word that he could hear it even through his sound-proof headphones)

Krabs:

(COUGHS) Refunds?

(Sure enough, the customers were chanting...)

CUSTOMERS:

(CHANTING) Refund! Refund!

(...like a mob of zombies)

(Mr. Krabs grabbed SpongeBob by his skinny arms)

Krabs:

Listen up, boy. Get in there and make some customers some Krabby Patties!

(He hustled SpongeBob out of his office and shoved him through the kitchen door. Then he hurried back to his office)

Krabs:

All right, Plankton...

(But when he looked at his desk, he saw that Plankton was GONE!)

Krabs:

Huh?

(He had used his strongest tape to hold Plankton down)

(INT. KITCHEN, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. SpongeBob opens up the patty vault)

SpongeBob:

(SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL)

(Mr. Krabs ran to see what was wrong. When he burst into the kitchen, he found his fry cook staring into the freezer)

Krabs:

SpongeBob! What's wrong, boy?

(The he looked into the freezer himself)

Krabs:

(SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL)

(It was empty)

Krabs:

We're out of Krabby Patties?

(SpongeBob started to sweat despite the cold air pouring out of the freezer)

SpongeBob:

How can we make more Krabby Patties without the secret formula?

(Mr. Krabs paced around the kitchen, concentrating)

Krabs:

You've got to have that formuler memorized by now!

(SpongeBob reminded him)

SpongeBob:

But as you are aware, sir, the employee handbook clearly states, and I quote, (reading) "No employee may, in part or in whole, commit the Krabby Patty secret formula to any recorded written or visual form, including memories, dreams, and/or needlepoint."

Krabs:

(WAILING) Curse you, fine print!

(INT. DINING AREA, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. The crowd of hungry customers was still chanting, picking up the order boat)

CUSTOMERS:

(CHANTING) Refund! Refund! Refund!

(Mr. Krabs burst into the dining room)

Krabs:

(O.S.) Stop!

(Everyone stops and the customers drop the order boat)

Krabs:

I'm not your enemy!

(He holds a "WANTED" sign with a picture of Plankton on it)

Krabs:

Plankton is your enemy!

Squidward:

So is he an anemone or a plankton?

(DRUM PLAYS RIMSHOT)

Mrs. Puff:

Well, someone had to do it.

SpongeBob:

(STAMMERS) But Mr. Krabs...

(Mr. Krabs flipped the paper to show a Krabby Patty on it)

Krabs:

He took this from you!

(The customers gasp)

Fred:

Krabby Patty...

Sandals:

I can almost taste it.

SpongeBob:

Uh, Mr. Krabs, Plankton didn't take the secret formula.

Krabs:

(throwing the paper away) Not now, SpongeBob!

(Patrick sits at a table, catching the paper)

Patrick:

Hey! I ordered a double Krabby Patty!

Krabs:

So join me! Help get the formuler back, and I'll give each and every one of you a free Krabby Patty!

(The customers cheer)

Krabs:

Oh, no! Wait! Even better, a slight discount!

(The customers groan, then they, along with Mr. Krabs, angrily run out of the Krusty Krab, chanting)

Krabs:

To the Chum Bucket!

(SpongeBob was left standing alone in the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob:

But he didn't do it.

(INT. THE CHUM BUCKET — DAY. Plankton was telling Karen what had happened)

PLANKTON:

I had it right in my greedy little mitts, and then... Poof! And now it's gone. Gone forever. Oh, I was so close to gaining the people's respect-slash-fear.

Karen:

Um, Plankton?

Plankton:

Oh, when will my frustration-slash-humiliation end?

Karen:

Plankton?

Plankton:

Not now, hon! Im'm ranting-slash-raving. All right, what is it?

Karen:

Well, I was trying to tell you there's an angry mob outside. But now they're inside.

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