Bon Bini Holland

1

Welcome to Curacao.

Welcome to Bon Bini Bungalows.

Hundred percent guaranteed.

Hundred percent vacation.

Dushi, your home away from home.

Guaranteed yours and yours alone.

Nice weather, huh?

- Sorry?

Nice weather.

- Yes, it is.

Robert Florentijn.

First time on Curacao?

- Yes, first time.

We're nearly there.

My partner Norbert Jan is waiting for us.

Wait. I'll turn on the air conditioning.

I hope there's a swimming pool.

- A swimming pool?

No, I'm afraid not.

Of course there's a pool.

And with water and everything. For free!

- Beautiful.

We're here. Say cheese.

A quick photo for the website.

Smile at the birdie.

Now the deposit and you can

go to the beach and get a nice tan.

But not too much of a tan

or they won't allow you back into Holland.

Two hundred, right?

- Yes.

Five hundred.

Exchange rate. Euros, guilders.

How could you have forgotten

the passports?

Get the hell out of my house!

I thought they were gone.

- Don't think. You have to make sure.

How am I supposed to know they forgot the

passports? I'm not going to rummage around.

You just broke in, moron.

Dushi!

A bit of suntan lotion?

Remember, OK:
Bon Bini Bungalows.

Bon Bini Bungalows?

Who wants to know?

- Eddie Velazquez.

What are you doing?

- Sorry, sorry.

That didn't go well.

Worked too hard and drank too little,

I think. That's dangerous.

Heat stroke.

- Yeah, I think so.

People forget they have to drink

plenty of fluids.

You too, I think. You look thirsty.

- Do I?

Nolla.

They have good cocktails here.

Shall I get two? Because it was

sweet of you to take care of me.

You should get water,

that's better for you.

Is that better for me?

One cocktail and one water

coming up, Madam Nolla.

Don't leave, OK?

Guys, that was funny.

Everyone had a barrel of laughs,

but we're done now. OK?

I don't want to get angry,

but I'm warning you:

If you don't take off the bag,

you have a problem. I swear.

And you know that I have

a pink and a yellow belt.

Well, well...

Robert Florentijn.

The big boss of Bon Bini Bungalows.

Senor Bon Bini.

Or should I say:
Robertico Florentina?

- Did I rent you a villa?

I'll take care of any problems.

Are you not satisfied?

Didn't you get enough soap bars?

I can get you soap.

Weren't the towels soft enough?

I can get you towels.

Let me go and I'll take care of it.

- Not to me. From me.

Moron.

I arrived at my villa yesterday

and apparently there had been a party.

Even my children's stuffed toys

were barbecued.

What has that got to do with me?

I'll take care of it.

I'll come to your house and...

- No!

You don't touch my house,

my stuff and my children.

You're going to pay UP-

200,000 guilders.

- Where am going to get that?

Or you'll pay in kind,

40,000...

...per limb.

But that's five limbs for 200,000.

I only have four limbs.

Eddie, come on. Let's talk.

Eddie! Come on, man.

Bye, Robertico.

Funny. Very funny.

You're joking, right?

There are no buses here!

Was that his house?!

I rented it to some students.

It was Fuik Day.

Of course it was Fuik Day!

You know what people do on Fuikday:

they drink and trash everything.

How am I supposed to pay him?

To what do I owe the honor

of his majesty of nightlife hitching a ride?

Dad, I need money.

- You can always get a job on my bus.

An honest day's work

never killed anyone.

How much?

200,000 guilders?!

Do you think I can just

pull that out of my pocket?

If I don't pay they'll chop off

my five limbs.

Five?

Good. Then you can start thinking

with your head for once.

Dad...

Stay calm. I've got an idea.

A place where you can be safe for now.

What do you mean? Where?

Fine. Send him over.

For the road.

- I'm in...

What?

Kan? stoba...

...sate' ku batata, piska kora.

- Mom, [have to go.

FC CHICKEN:

I'd like a Crispy Chicken Super Size

Go Large Menu.

Crispy Chicken Go Large Menu?

Are you sure?

Wouldn't you rather have a salad,

or eggplant or pine nuts?

You look like a cottage cheese person.

Want cottage cheese?

Sure.

- We're out.

Hello.

Hello, sir.

Ma'am, are you going to help me?

Me help you?

Do I look like a plastic surgeon?

No one can help you.

What you need is a miracle,

because you look like a grape.

Can I have a Crispy Chicken

for this jungle gnome here.

Super Size.

Go Large.

Menu.

Where's Ping Ping?

Playing Rummikub with his mother

in a container? I don't know.

Chinese people are always late.

- And you're always on time?

Right on the dot.

Don't touch me, idiot.

New chicken burgers. Sign this.

- But, Ping Ping, that's horse meat.

No way. It's real chicken.

Horse chicken.

Not horse meat, horse chicken.

It runs and flies fast.

It's horse chicken. Very good chicken.

Noltie, I have a special suit for you.

You'll make a big impression

on the ladies.

Genuine Versace.

Noltie, are you sure

that suit wasn't stolen?

What if the police comes?

I'll be deported.

You'll be deported?

I'll be deported.

Noltie, dough.

Huh?

- Dough.

Dough!

Special price for you:

only 50 euros.

- 100.

- 150.

Deal!

Shouldn't you answer the phone?

Is it your phone?

Are they calling you?

Did your phone go ring, ring, ring?

Do we need those customers?

We don't, jungle gnome.

OK. Jungle gnome.

Well, if anyone here is from the jungle,

it's you,jungle bunny.

What did you say?

What did you call me?

Jungle bunny.

Jungle bunny? Your mother.

Hello, this is restaurant FC Chicken.

Judeska, there's telephone for you.

- You too, Mr. Annoying?

It's your nephew, Robertico.

He's waiting for you.

Just a moment, sir.

I'll be right back.

Guys, I'm off!

Hello, hello, hello, rude people!

Hello, out of my way!

Hello, out of my way! Move it.

I ONLY BRAKE FOR JOHN WILLIAMS!!

Welcome to Holland.

Auntie?

- Who did you expect? Beyonc?

Get in. Go, go, go.

Chop chop, idiot.

Great song, auntie.

Great song...

What are you doing here anyway,

Mr. Annoying?

A kind of sabbatical.

A vvhattical?

Just a change of scenery. Vacation.

Listen, don't talk, don't move...

...and don't breathe either.

Nothing! Vacation.

Everyone whines about a vacation

and who has to work? Me.

Stupid whore! Shut up!

Did you kick him out again?

Don't kick him out, stab him.

Twice in the neck. Stab, stab, done.

That hassle all the time.

Thank you for letting me stay

in your studio.

Studio?

- That's what my mom said.

Of course. You will get a studio.

A nail studio, roof pigeon.

And here is your mat.

Bye, bye, dushi.

I missed you, bro.

Hey, dushi.

Want some suntan lotion?

Hurry UP-

Get up. You're not staying here

for free, you know.

Where's my deposit.

Wok To Go here needs to be paid.

Go get a job.

I don't run a charity.

Hum; up, Show ma.

A job?

Good afternoon, ladies.

- And who might you be?

Can't you introduce yourself?

That's how it's done in the Netherlands.

A bit of decency.

"Hello, madam. Thank you for welfare."

Am I right?

My apologies. Robertico Florentina.

Nice to meet you.

What?

What's he saying?

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