Bon Bini Holland Page #2

I don't understand.

Nice to meet you.

- You should take Dutch lessons.

What are you doing here, anyway?

- I'm staying with my aunt. Down there.

God, another one.

"I'm staying with my aunt."

That's how they call it these days:

Staying.

The gentleman's staying for a week

in Holland.

Forever, you mean. Retard.

Listen, kid. I was born here, right?

Everyone comes here,

but no one ever leaves.

I just call them as I see them.

Ladies, I have to go. See you later.

- See you later?

Don't bother coming back.

But they always do. Retard.

EMPLOYMENT AGENCY

I've never worked for a boss.

- Right.

I'm an entrepreneur,

so I seize my opportunities.

I'm someone who helps people.

Helping people. Flight.

So you actually have no experience.

I have...

- So this isn't going to be it.

My sister had a family like that

move in next door.

The stench wasn't normal.

Cooking every evening. Every...

That's not normal, is it?

Yes, listen, here...

What would you do if you found

your old lady in bed with some moron?

Would it be so weird for you to follow

that guy through the area with a crowbar...

...and then smearing his brains

all over the place? Or am I crazy?

A crowbar?

- Crowbar?

You want something with a crowbar.

Crowbar, crowbar...

That might be difficult.

Why cook every evening?

Just grab something out of the freezer.

Microwave some normal Dutch food.

Right?

They must have money growing on trees,

eating all those chickens.

Black or white?

Black or...'?

- How you want to get paid.

Black, right? In your case.

And then they say:

You're welcome to come and eat.

Well, I rang the doorbell live times

and just stood there.

How much do you think they pay?

- Who?

For those soccer players these days.

130 million a week! That's insane.

It's because of those Arabs.

A bit of water-piping behind the camel.

A bit oi soccer in the sandbox.

With their Qatar.

I'm fed up with it.

With all those Poles...

...and all those Caribbeans.

Not sure where they're all from.

Those guys are talented, don't get me wrong,

but they lack experience.

I personally still have

a very good left one.

Ouch. Dammit.

- Anita, shut your piehole!

So can't help you with this one either.

Right, this may be something.

It's been open for a long time.

Are you into food?

Because we can't find a single retard

for thisjob.

But looking at you,

this may be tailor-made for you.

How do you like your first day on the job?

- Funny how you idots call this a job.

Why not ask money for breathing?

Have the phone number of some babes?

Don't call. That's the police.

They'll deport me.

It's just positive discrimination.

We don't need another monkey.

Hajhesh, he just arrived in the Netherlands.

Be nice.

He's a monkey?

You're a monkey.

Oh, ram ram.

What kind of get-together is this?

Are you celebrating Independence Day?

What do you think? You're my nephew,

so you don't have to work?

Where's my Crispy Chicken Menu?

The customer is king, you know.

You can't just keep them waiting.

I'm off for 30 minutes.

To the bathroom.

Can I have the chicken wings...

...without the bones.

No, I'll have the chicken cheeseburger...

...without cheese.

What exactly don't you like

about this sandwich?

There is chicken on it.

What?

Everyone shits. Hello!

Beyonc shits.

Maxima shits. Your mother shits.

Seriously, though.

Kofi, how do you keep this up?

This job. How do you do that?

- Come on, Robertico. Stay positive.

It's better than where I came from.

I'm a refugee from a country

full of war and misery.

And now I can work here every day!

He destroyed my house,

now it's your turn!

Show me the money!

Hurry UP-

It's the day of the Lord!

Get up. It's Sunday,

the day of the Lord.

Hurry. Go, go, go.

But it's raining.

- Did Noah wait...

...until someone closed the tap?

We're going to church. God bless.

Hello, we're here. God bless.

There she is. Don't like her.

Hello, sister.

Her mouth smells like death. Can't stand it.

This is the spot.

Did your hairdresser use a hedge trimmer?

Or were you underneath a car?

You look like a bird, Cockatoo.

Don't touch me, Pavarotti.

You can only wish

getting a taste of me.

Ooh-Ia-Ia, listen to those notes.

I'm musical too, you know.

I can play those notes on my flute.

Nice, man.

We're in church.

Can you take it seriously?

You're right, sister. Some things

do need to be taken seriously.

I'm going to do things to her.

Nice things. Naughty things.

Blessed boom boom things.

Good to see you here, Robertico.

Spirituality will do you good.

The message for today,

brothers and sisters...

...is that it's time for a change.

Time for change, brothers and sisters.

You're in church, you know.

What are you talking about?

It's the Host.

Host ham and cheese.

You smell it. You want some too.

Right, Bokito?

You're not getting anything.

I can get you some bullets. Bam, bam.

Next time I'll bring chicken.

I just need some dip, though.

God bless, lady in red.

You know what they say about

people wearing red:

I don't stop.

It's a hassle, but you know what I mean.

Amen.

Amen, brothers and sisters.

Hallelujah.

There are only two men in my life:

Jesus and John Williams.

Holy sh*t!

- Hello, you can't curse in church.

200,000 guilders, or you'll never

see your little island again. Eddie.

Today we'd like to thank

our brother Ken Maduro.

His generous gift made it possible

for our wonderful church...

...to have a brand new audio system.

Testing!

Brother Maduro, stand up.

A big hand for brother Maduro.

Kofi, who is he?

Ken Maduro of Maduro Hotels.

He's very rich.

He's from Curacao as well

and started out from scratch.

He started out from scratch?

I started out from scratch.

Noltie, do you have

Ping Ping's phone number?

Who are all those chicks?

- No one. They're family.

Aunt, niece... Creative therapy.

Hobby.

So this is where you make those suits?

- No, it's German quality. Made in China.

Look...

Child-labor-free.

- Yes!

What do I owe you?

- No, I'll send you an invoice.

Robertico, bye.

What are you doing in there?

Well, they're good at dancing,

but they're work-shy.

Welcome to the Royal Maduro, sir.

How may I help you?

I'm here to see Ken Maduro.

And your name is?

- Robert.

Robert Florentijn of Bon Bini

Business International.

I don't see your name here,

Mr. Florentijn.

It's possible I may not be

on the schedule.

I've been staying here for a while

and would like to compliment Mr. Maduro...

...on his excellent choice in staff.

I've stayed in hotels all over the globe...

...but I've never seen such pretty ladies

at reception before.

Gosh.

Mr. Maduro isn't here right now.

He'll be here tomorrow, I think.

He's playing golf.

- Golf?

Good afternoon.

Isn't it great? An hour out of the office?

Sometimes it's good for them

to just let them find it out for themselves.

A 100 employees and who has to

take care of things? We do!

Men like us.

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