Bon Cop, Bad Cop Page #3

a small company

at the St. Hubert airport.

- Okay.

So do we go see the farmer

or go directly to the airport?

- I think we go directly

to St. Hubert.

(punk-rock music)

Jesus!

What are you doing?!

(honking)

You can't do that!

This isn't an official police car!

There's no siren to warn people!

- Roll down your window

and make the siren noise yourself.

(honking)

Come on!

(honking)

- Oh! Look, we're gonna have

to have some ground rules here.

- No problem.

Rule 1:
In Quebec,

I'm in charge.

I take care of fights

and car chases.

- I see. That leaves jaywalking

and traffic violations for me?

- As long as no ladders are needed.

- And no smoking.

- That's your right.

- Then why are you lighting up?

- I have rights too.

I'm in the smoking section.

- This car is really you,

you know?

- Thanks.

- Rule 12:

You let me interrogate the witnesses.

I do the talking.

- Whatever, but in French.

- Depends on the maternal language

of the person we're talking to,

doesn't it?

- In Quebec, we work in French.

- Fine!

That leaves the rest of Canada

under my jurisdiction,

with the possible exception

of some of New Brunswick.

- Whoa! What did I just say?

In FRENCH!

- Sorry about this.

I have everything right here...

- Take your time, ma'am.

How many helicopters

do you have?

- Three, but one is being fixed.

Here's the page.

No, none of our helicopters flew

near the Ontario border yesterday.

The owner has been

with a group of Americans

up in Tremblant the past week

and Luc did a short return trip

to Montreal around 2:00.

But wait, that's strange.

- What's strange?

- Hey!

- Sorry, interrogation.

- What's strange?

- I don't want

to get anybody in trouble,

but Luc seems to have taken

a chopper out

at the end of the day yesterday.

Maybe it was to fix something.

In that case, it would be normal

for it not to be logged.

- Do you have a number

where we can reach Mr?

- Therrien,

Luc Therrien.

At this time of day,

he's usually at the bar

on the corner.

- Thank you.

- The pleasure is all mine, Officer.

Excuse me, but is there a number

where I can reach you

in case anything new

pops into my head?

- I don't have any cards with me.

- Ah.

(laughing)

- It's 9...

- Okay.

- 1... 1...

That's it.

(laughing)

They'll know how to find me.

Ask for Martin Ward.

- Ward...

- I'm going to park in the back.

- There we go. Luc Therrien.

Thirty-nine years old, divorced.

Nine years for smuggling cocaine.

After that, nothing.

Helicopter pilot for 10 years.

With this company

for the past 3 years.

- Luc Therrien...

I've heard that name before.

Maybe I arrested him.

- Wait, wait. I'm the one

who asks the questions.

- You're right and I'm gonna let

you go in there all by yourself.

I'll join you in a little while.

- Good.

You'll be able to study my methods

and maybe learn a thing or two.

- Yeah, right.

- Let me go and size the place up,

then join me.

- What are you doing?

Hey, no badge.

Especially not one from Ontario.

What the hell?

- Anything else?

Hello, handsome.

What can I get for you?

- A ginger ale, straight up,

s'il vous plait.

- Ginger ale!

A little ice?

- No, thank you.

(both chuckling)

I'm looking for a helicopter pilot.

- We're not short on those

around here.

It's on me.

- Why, thank you.

Therrien.

Does that name

mean anything to you?

- Therrien...

- Luc Therrien.

- Oh, Luc!

This is your lucky day,

that's him there.

- Merci.

- Tabarnac!

Sh*t, man, you're lucky.

Rita, two beers!

- Nice jacket.

- Thanks... Reverend.

Nice turtleneck.

It was a joke.

Rita, give the man

another drink.

- Ginger ale?

- Ooh, ginger ale.

You worried about driving home?

(all chuckling)

- Do you know that the Canadian

Heart Disease Association

says that two

alcoholic drinks per day

can be beneficial for our health,

but that three or more bring us

ever closer to the grave?

- Therrien, you've been dead

for seven years.

(laughing)

- I drink to stay calm when people

start to get on my nerves.

- Ever tried yoga?

- I know practically

every position.

- We all know your

favourite positions, Rita.

- Show the lady

a little respect.

- Winner buys the beer?

- What planet are you from?

- Toronto.

- Oh, yeah?

That's why I hate your face.

What the f*** you doing here?

- A poll.

I'd like to ask you a few questions

about Benoit Brisset.

We know there's a link...

- Argh!

Let me ask again,

do you know Benoit Brisset?

It's fine.

Argh!

Oh!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Bouchard!

Do something!

Bouchard, help me!

- Does anybody here

understand English?

I think the guy

with the purple face

is trying to tell me something.

- David!

Help me... please!

- With pleasure.

- Mind your own business.

- Okay, you can let him go.

I'll take care of him.

- I'm not sure that's a good idea.

- Martin, we talked about this.

I'm in charge of fights.

Take it easy, it'll be okay.

- Argh!

- Thanks. Has Mr. Therrien

seemed at all nervous lately?

- No more than usual.

- Argh!

- Martin, help me!

- May I have a little lemon, please?

- Anything for you, handsome.

- Martin, stop screwing around.

- Here's my card

if you think of anything.

I'm sorry,

I don't understand you.

- F*** you!

- Right language,

wrong words.

- Martin, help me, please!

- Excuse me.

Let go of my partner.

What are you doing?

I don't know

if you don't respect procedures

because you're ignorant,

you're a lunatic,

orjust because you're French.

You can't do this!

(laughing)

- And what is appropriate

procedure in such a case?

- Hey...

it's yourjurisdiction.

- Thanks.

- You motherfuckin' pieces of sh*t!

- Hey, watch your language.

- What did he say?

- He called us rotten.

- I got that,

but "hostie de calice"?

- It's swearing.

"Hosties de pourris"

is like f***in' pieces of sh*t,

but "hosties de calice de pourris"

is like motherfuckin' pieces of sh*t.

But I've been called worse.

"Hostie de calice de tabarnac."

- Over-the-top pourri?

- Oui.

- Laugh it up, a**holes.

When I get out of here...

- Shush! Shush!

Wait, I'm not finished.

You can conjugate it, too.

- Like a verb?

- Mm-hmm!

- I'll f***in' give you one!

- Good one, Luc. For example,

I'll f***in' give you one.

Or you could use

the masculine and say,

here's a hell of a whack.

- Got it.

- You utter f***.

- Absolutely.

As in I'll give you a f***in'...

We can also use it as a noun.

We have expressions too!

Like, I don't give a sh*t.

- Okay, enough.

You don't want him

to file a complaint.

- I don't give a sh*t.

Come on.

- Argh!

- What's going on?

Lulu, your boot is in the way.

- Sorry.

- I just hope you don't talk

like that around children.

- Holy f***ing sh*t! Gabrielle!

- I have my answer.

This is a handicapped space!

You can't park here.

- Yes, I can, I'm with you.

- Give me your car keys.

- No.

- This is ridiculous.

We can't leave a suspect

in the trunk of your car

because you're late

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